How To Know How To Lose: 7 Keys To Learn To Accept Defeats
Knowing how to properly manage defeats and mistakes is very important. When we lose we have the opportunity to evaluate the reasons that led us to that situation and correct some aspects to improve.
In this article we will see how to learn to lose so that failing does not represent an absolute failure for the subject and does not lead us to a feeling of frustration that blocks or paralyzes us. And although people generally link defeat with failure, this does not necessarily have to be the case.
Before going on to give advice on how to learn to lose, let’s see how important this aspect is in our daily lives.
Nobody escapes defeats Even in everyday life it is common for us to have to face small situations in which we do not achieve our goals as planned. For example, the fact that we arrive at a place very late due to traffic and therefore lose a promotion to another worker, can lead us to feel very bad and cause more problems for ourselves as a result of our anger and frustration.
Contrary to what many people think, the fact that we have lost does not mean that we have failed. It only means that There are aspects in us that must be worked on to be better or that someone else did things better than us at a specific moment, simply that.
The faster we change our perception of defeats and stop seeing them as a failure, the closer we will be to achieving the best version of ourselves.
Now we are going to see some effective tips to change the way we see failure, so we can learn to lose.
1. Leave frustration behind
It is natural that when we lose we feel a sense of frustration for not having met our expectations, but we must learn to leave this feeling behind quickly. Turning the page and getting down to work again is a key aspect.
This does not mean that when we lose we will simply continue as if nothing had happened, but that we should avoid spending too much time in our frustration, and instead use our resources to see what has gone wrong to correct it.
To do this, writing down a sequence of steps to follow and committing to a specific schedule or calendar is very useful.
2. Accept things as they happened
A fundamental aspect of managing defeats is to see things as they really happened, and avoid manipulating memories in our mind with the intention of “protecting” ourselves from the feeling of frustration.
Defeat is inevitably unpleasant, but the sooner you deal with that feeling, the sooner you will be ready to go after victory again. That is, the fact that you excuse yourself for not speaking won will not make you have victory. It is better to accept defeat, learn from it and get up.
Furthermore, this acceptance is essential to learn from one’s own mistakes, by assuming the information without distorting it to fit our emotions and previous beliefs. In this way, we learn to lose and we also learn about what has led us to lose.
3. Avoid hostile reactions
The feeling of frustration we feel after losing in some aspect of our lives can lead us to have hostile reactions; this situation would only make our situation worse. The best will be recognize our feeling and modulate it appropriately making it not slow down our progress.
The recognition of emotions is an aspect that helps us bring out the positive in the worst situations. When we have been able to recognize and accept our true emotions, we are less likely to unconsciously have hostile reactions.
So, for example, you can establish work rituals so that when you feel bad about a certain mistake you can use that feeling as motivation to progress.
4. Give more importance to the process
The fact of winning represents the achievement of a process in which we had to have prepared ourselves to compete, or failing that it implies that we planned to do things in a certain way to achieve specific results. Thus, knowing how to lose has to enter into the logic of admitting that this mistake was not inevitable and that we could do more things to obtain better results.
The training or planning process is as important and rewarding as the victory itself, it’s just that when we lose we don’t think about how much we enjoyed the training or planning process.
That is why not All glory should be given to winning, because there is already glory in competing with others or with oneself. Learn to focus more on the process without being affected by the anxiety of winning, and you will see how everything turns out in a more natural and fluid way.
5. Avoid the favorite role
No matter how much the circumstances are in your favor to opt for victory, the role of favorite does not always favor the person who owns it. In fact, starting with the idea that we have more options to win represents in most cases a double-edged sword.
It is not bad to have confidence in ourselves and our abilities, but we must avoid falling into complacency to have a better vision of the challenges that we will have to face. If you see yourself as the best and the one with every chance to win, that could lead you to underestimate your rivals and overvalue your abilities. And when you lose, it will be more difficult to recover emotionally.
6. Avoid tunnel thinking
Tunnel thinking means that we only think about winning, and are unable to look at other possibilities. This type of thinking is harmful, considering that we will not always be able to emerge victorious. There will be times when we get a draw, or a defeat.
If you are able to preview all of these scenarios in your mind before competing, then you will be a more realistic competitor and better prepared to challenge for victory. without letting it completely obsess you.
7. Avoid stigmatization
Stigmata are forms of thought in which the subject is radical when analyzing things; It is “all or nothing”, there are no middle ground. These are labels that lead us to associate arbitrary concepts with very negative emotions so that through these associations between ideas, we unfairly judge those who are represented by them.
If your thinking is based on social stigmas, it is easy for you to judge others unfairly and do the same with yourself (stigmatization easily turns against those who use it to attack others).
We must be able to realize when we are going too far in our way of seeing things and combat those thoughts to have better results.
