‘I Don’t Get Over A Breakup Hoping My Ex Will Come Back’
Normally, we assume that hope is a good feeling, that gives us well-being, by leading us to think about a better future. However, this is not the case in all cases. For example, there are those who cannot get over a breakup with their ex precisely because They continue to hope that that person will return.
The truth is that overcoming this type of breakup is not an easy task for everyone, since some people may refuse to turn the page and become obsessed with the hope of getting back together with their ex-partner, which It inevitably leads them to become frustrated and unable to improve their present situation since, naturally, they have no control over that person’s feelings.
How to get over a breakup and let go of the hope that your ex will come back
In today’s article we will see a series of practical guidelines, tips and strategies that can be used in case a person becomes obsessed with getting back with their ex-partner after a painful breakup.
1. Your happiness does not depend on anyone else
Most people who become obsessed with getting back together with their former partner do so because They have low self-image or self-confidence by mistakenly believing that they will never be happy if it is not with their ex-partner and that it is precisely the other person who makes them happy and gives them everything they need in life.
The first thing we must be clear about to overcome a breakup is that our happiness does not depend on anyone but ourselves and that we are going to be happy with whoever, even when alone.
This learning is of great importance for those people with low self-esteem or who have cases of emotional dependence and it is a concept that must be worked on daily until we convince ourselves that happiness is found in ourselves and not in our partner.
2. Accept your thoughts
Accepting our obsession with our ex-partner is the first step to overcoming it, which is why psychology professionals recommend positively welcoming our obsessive ideas and our need to return to that person, as a process to overcome them; accept those ideas as something transitory.
Trying to avoid one’s own obsessive thoughts will only make them stronger and more rooted in the mind, which is why we must accept them without any rush or anxiety so that they go away.
Once we accept our thoughts, we can, with the passage of time and the implementation of a series of cognitive exercises, overcome our addiction to our ex.
3. Don’t force the other person
Avoiding forcing our ex-partner to feel the same as us is another of the basic rules of coexistence and civility that we must follow to overcome the breakup in the best possible way.
The same way, It is important not to try to change the person with whom we have ended the relationship since if we are with someone it is because we like how that person really is.
4. You must want to be fine without this person
To overcome a breakup, we must want by all means to be without that person and feel good in their absence.
To achieve this commitment to get over our partner, it is important to have gone through enough negative experiences in the past that make us feel that this cycle is already over and that the breakup is inevitable.
5. Focus on you
Once the relationship is over you must focus on yourself; Take care of yourself at all times and focus on satisfying your needs, desires, dreams and life goals.
This means that you must maintain both your physical and mental health, continue to implement healthy habits (eat well, exercise, etc.) and put your priorities above everything else.
Breakups often serve to return to old hobbies and leisure activities or to start new ones with the aim of getting to know ourselves better and progressively forgetting our former partner.
6. Free yourself from guilt
Some people may continue to carry a feeling of guilt after the breakup; a guilt that paralyzes them and leads them to enter a vicious circle of self-hatred and punishments imposed on oneself, which generates pain added to the discomfort and suffering of the breakup. This is not productive, because it is a way of refusing to learn from mistakes, by not thinking about the possibility of improving as romantic partners.
Believing that the breakup was our fault and that we could have avoided it is common in people with low self-esteem or emotional problems and that will only make overcoming the breakup more difficult.
On the contrary, instead of blaming ourselves for the breakup, we must consciously work to improve our self-esteem and understand what lessons we can draw from what happened, being clear that sometimes a breakup is no one’s fault and that it can give us experience. for the future.
When you idealize your partner you run the risk of ending up depending on them and not conceiving that person as they really are.
To overcome the breakup, the most important thing is to stop idealizing our ex-partner, analyzing all those things that he surely did wrong and all those aspects that made him a normal, ordinary human person.
8. Maintain an active social life
Human beings are social beings, which means that we need interaction with other people, especially in painful moments such as breakups.
Being close to our loved ones, such as friends or family, will help us get over the breakup much easier and we will be able to get good advice from those who love us the most.
9. Take responsibility
Just as it is vitally important to free ourselves from guilt, after a breakup it is also essential analyze the possible responsibilities that we may have had in the same.
Instead of blaming the other person for the breakup and seeing ourselves as victims incapable of making decisions, it is important that we are aware of our responsibility if it exists, to be aware that we can act as adults, assuming the responsibility. command of our actions and being aware that only we create our destiny.
10. Look ahead
Whenever we are struggling to get over a breakup and want to get back with that person, it is important to progressively leave the past behind and look forward.
To do this, we must find everything that makes us motivated by the future and that gives us a reason to move forward with the breakup process and forget our partner permanently.
