4 Very Common Self-esteem Problems, And How To Manage Them
Self-esteem problems are at the root of many psychological problems that people experience. Without necessarily going hand in hand with mental disorders, this type of pessimistic assessment of oneself makes it more likely that one will lead an unsatisfactory life, focused on unambitious goals.
In this article we will review several of the most common self-esteem problems as well as possible strategies to manage them and make them fade away.
Personal relationships may be complicated, but on many occasions the relationships we establish with ourselves are even more complicated. With the idea of the “I” that each of us harbors inside.
And self-esteem problems are one of the most frequent causes of psychological discomfort. These types of uncomfortable, anxiety-inducing situations or sources of true emotional pain come from a set of beliefs that in psychology is called self-concept, or self-image and that contains all those ideas about oneself, the adjectives that define the “I”.
Self-concept is not something that we contemplate coldly, just as a scientist would look at a sample through a microscope, but it always carries with it an emotional charge. We call this aspect of self-concept that has to do with how we feel about the idea we have about our identity.
Thus, self-esteem problems are those situations that appear when the way we value self-concept is very pessimistic and it makes us feel anxiety, disgust or other sensations and feelings every time we remember who we are.
To know how to deal with this kind of discomfort, it is good to know the main types of self-esteem problems. Let’s see what they are.
1. Complexes due to lack of talent
It is very possible that a good part of self-esteem problems appear due to the belief that one does not have the talent to do something important for oneself. From this perspective, there is something that is beyond one’s control and that prevents or makes it very difficult to progress in a specific area of knowledge or training.
In this type of self-esteem problems, not only sadness appears for not reaching the goals that one sets for oneself but you also feel that time is wasted on something that will never bear the expected results.
However, we must keep in mind that talent is simply the fruit of trying hard for a long time, and that the fact of not progressing in something is usually an indication that that task simply does not motivate enough. Now, for this idea to take effect by improving the level of self-esteem, it is necessary to go through a cognitive restructuring, as we will see.
2. Constant comparison
Those who obsess over constantly comparing themselves with others end up finding a thousand examples of people who, in general terms, seem to be superior to themselves in every way.
The good news is that the information we have about others is always insufficient and too biased to issue informed evaluative opinions about them. The bad news is that anyone who gives enough importance to these types of issues will probably be unable to take this reasoning into account, and simply will recurrently think about how bad oneself is compared to others.
Blaming oneself for mistakes made in the past, whether for doing something or not doing something, is a common source of self-esteem problems. Life gives us many opportunities to fail, and sometimes the feeling of guilt remains entrenched.
Although this feeling apparently tells us about the recognition of something that should not have happened, it does not always translate into the will to avoid falling into the same kind of mistakes. But, when you do try to compensate for the situation, this is a way in itself to solve the self-esteem problem, if you manage your self-concept in the appropriate way.
4. Believe the contempt of others
Other people’s cruelty can infiltrate the way we think about ourselves. For this reason, many victims of abuse or bullying believe they deserve what happens to them, for example.
The thing is, when there are frequent signs that someone puts us down, We tend to believe that there really are valid reasons to be despised. If we add to this that abuse often does not occur in isolation, but rather that an entire group or social circle participates in it, the signs that we should hate ourselves multiply.
How to end the discomfort?
The most serious and obvious cases of self-esteem problems should be treated by psychologists, since they have the resources to do something very necessary in these cases: help us change the way we think about ourselves, and make us adopt habits consistent with a normal level of self-esteem.
These two courses of action, typical of cognitive-behavioral therapy, allow you to return to normality in a matter of weeks or a few months.
