How Does Your Relationship With Money Impact Your Sexual Relationships?
When it comes to taboos, money is equal to or more taboo than Sexuality itself. The relationship that most people have with money is a fundamental aspect of their lives, but it is often a topic that is approached with discomfort or avoided completely with peers, colleagues, family and even with a partner.
This relationship not only affects our beliefs such as financial decisions, but also has a profound impact on our personal relationships and our sexual-affective relationships. A mark that most of us have left from childhood is how we learned from our family bond the relationship that our parents had with money, perhaps some were employees of some company, company or business, perhaps they themselves were the ones who undertook on their own and we witnessed what their financial administration was like and how that relationship impacted us in our home and our perception of it.
Certainly, our fathers were more absent because they had to fulfill work obligations so that our homes could be fed, we could study, and our mothers were generally in our care and training. So, how was the money distributed in our home when dad (or if both of them worked) received his salary? Did it go towards basic survival obligations, such as paying rent, services, food, our education, entertainment? Or should I immediately go out in some way in branded clothing, toys, technology, travel, perhaps some “vice”? Was there a habit of saving? How did your parents relate once money came into the home, was it a matter of conflict or was it handled well?
I’m going to tell you what it was like in my home: The person who worked was my father, he was from a wealthy family and his family were businessmen in the automotive industry. I remember that my father was the eldest son of my grandparents and of 4 children of my grandparents in total. So, he was the one who managed some of my grandparents’ wineries and although they had a significant flow of money, my father always had a relationship and a scarcity mentality with money.
Having a scarcity mentality is not necessarily being a stingy person… A stingy person does have a scarcity mentality, they have difficulty making money flow, difficulty giving, and they have an unconscious perception of low deservingness. The scarcity mentality is also present in people who, although they have a constant flow of money, always think about getting out of it and spending it as soon as possible.
They have an unconscious need to free themselves from it, so some addictions come in here or I prefer to call them behavioral patterns. They seek to spend it on parties, frequent and unnecessary trips, designer clothes, luxury items, cars, alcohol and even on sex offered by prostitution. Many times just to belong, stand out from the rest and have a feeling of power because that was the relationship that my parents had with money, scarcity which led them to financial bankruptcy due to waste on alcohol and infidelities on my part. paternal grandfather and my father who followed his example.
So, despite being a man with good financial assets and a mentality of spending money on alcohol, he had problems with alcoholism and sex addiction. The money that came home was to cover basic needs, my garden, food, candy and trips every weekend. I remember it perfectly, I was about 4 years old. Today 30 years later.
This was not only in my home, I see it in many consulting families and couples who have not become aware of their money management and how their relationships live in anguish, conflicts due to poor financial management, infidelities, etc.
Couples who go into debt to acquire the latest model cars, televisions, high-end cell phones, brand-name or even designer clothing to appear to belong to an elite or stand out from their closest ties, but behind closed doors the conflicts do not cease due to the distribution of obligationsor if it is just a dating relationship, this is reflected in the lack of quality experiences, discussions about who pays the bill, where to go or where not, in the little investment in personal development because it is not considered important, because it gets out of hand. of the budget or the cell phone payment that was taken out in 46 months is not completed.
So on average the criteria when choosing a partner is: How much he attracts me, his good physique, because he likes to travel, because we both like barbecues on the weekends, because he likes the same music but we rarely meet. We asked: How would our relationship work in the event of losing a job/bankruptcy? What are our short, medium and long-term projections? While it is true that healthy relationships should be a mutual Oasis and two-way construction, we cannot be superheroes or wait for someone else to come and solve our lives to fall into relationships of economic dependency based on power, abuse and violence. .
That is why personal growth and development is so important when choosing a partner because when there is similarity based on the system of principles we either build up or destroy each other. I reiterate this all the time in my eBook: “The Secrets of the Superior Lover” that you find available on Amazon.
Relationships where one of the two “has to push” the other to get ahead, to “manage money well at home” to believe that we can solve the other’s disorders or behavior patterns under the promise of love; They are relationships destined for emotional, psychological, sexual, professional and all kinds of failure..
While relationships where there is similarity in mutual edification are relationships where there is greater tolerance for minimal differences, there is a purpose and a value that unites. They are relationships where there is generally solid trust, support, communication and their sexual connection is usually healthier and more balanced. Not where mistrust, lack of communication, unhealthy or unregulated sexuality prevails, perhaps with a greater prevalence of sexually transmitted diseases.
A strong bond
If you don’t have a good relationship with your own money and if your partner doesn’t have it either, this can happen in your life and in your relationships:
1. Financial Stress and Relationship Conflicts
Financial stress is one of the main causes of conflict in relationships. When debts accumulate and bills cannot be paid, stress can trigger arguments and tensions between couples and of course interest in sexual dynamics is lost.
Imagine a young couple, where one of the members loses his job. Financial uncertainty creates an environment of constant tension, leading to arguments about spending and saving. This pressure can erode trust and mutual respect, essential elements for a healthy relationship.
2. Different Economic Priorities
Financial priorities can vary greatly between individuals, and these differences can be a point of conflict in relationships. For example, if one person values financial security and prefers to save for the future, while his or her partner enjoys spending on unnecessary items and luxury goods, this can create friction. Lack of alignment on financial goals can leave both parties feeling misunderstood and frustrated, negatively affecting the harmony and trust in the relationship.
3. Financial Dependency and Power Dynamics
I already mentioned it above, the mentality of scarcity and lack of individual financial projection generates dependencies between it and the financial one, this dependence can create an unbalanced power dynamic in relationships. If a person is financially dependent on their partner, they may feel trapped or less empowered to make important decisions about themselves.. For example, a woman who has left her professional career to simply care for children without having one or more sources of income of her own may feel that she has less say in family financial decisions, which can lead to resentment and a sense of Loss of identity.
The perception of financial success can influence attraction, admiration, and self-esteem within a relationship. Many people associate financial success with personal worth, which can affect couple dynamics. Imagine a man who has achieved great success in his career and contributes the majority of the family income.
He can feel proud and secure under the promise of giving everything to her and that it was not necessary for her to follow her profession and that it is better for her to stay at home because her husband will provide everything, and if this dynamic was not discussed, it was not agreed upon. with your partner and She may feel overshadowed or inferior due to her own financial situation, this can generate insecurity and emotional distance between them over time..
5. Financial Education and Joint Growth
Lack of financial education can limit a couple’s joint growth. Understanding and managing money effectively is crucial to building a strong future together. If one of the members of the couple does not have knowledge about how to manage money, this can cause violence, dependencies, and poorly informed financial decisions. Instead, when both members are committed to learning and growing financially together, they can strengthen their relationship by working toward common goals and overcoming financial challenges as a team.
Conclusions
That is why chasing the carrot of happiness all our lives is not outside of us, in our titles, our assets or the partner we get. It is in us, in our conscious personal growth and development and how we relate to money.
Look for and invest in yourself, in mentors who guide you and teach you to evolve individually to attract that when you want to bond emotionally you can attract someone with large-scale similarities and if you are in a relationship, a specialist mentor can guide you in a correct way.
