Sofía is 14 years old, a complicated age. Puberty has taken its toll on his hormones, he is more irritable, he has begun to neglect his studies, he refuses to collaborate with housework, he has even raised his voice in a disrespectful way to his parents.
Agustina, her mother feels frustrated and doesn’t know what to do. During Sofía’s childhood, Agustina always saw limits as a restriction that could interfere with her little girl’s freedom. Now she would like to go back in time, because she feels that those limits were necessary in the end, but she has not realized that it is never too late to establish them without becoming the villain of the story.
Sound familiar? If you are a father or mother, you have probably gone through similar situations. And if not, you probably know someone who is experiencing something similar. Therefore, in these lines We will focus on the importance of boundaries in parenting.
Boundaries are like the invisible barriers we set to protect our emotional and psychological well-being, as well as to establish order in our relationships and what we expect from them.
They are the lines that demarcate where we end and where others begin. Thinking of boundaries as a kind of personal map can be helpful: they tell us what is acceptable and what is not. in our interactions with other people.
Setting healthy boundaries allows us to take care of our needs and desires, without feeling guilty or pressured to please others. At the same time, they communicate to those around us what kind of treatment we expect to receive, and when our boundaries are respected, our relationships become more authentic and satisfying, as they are based on mutual respect and understanding.
At their core, boundaries are an expression of respect and care for ourselves and others, which helps us build healthier relationships with others, including, of course, our children.
Why are boundaries important in parenting?
Boundaries in parenting provide a solid structure upon which children can build their identity and understanding of the world. By setting clear and consistent limits, parents provide their children with a safe frame of reference that allows them to confidently explore their environment.
Security and trust
Limits give children a sense of security and predictability. When they know what is expected of them and what the consequences of their actions are, they feel more secure and confident in themselves.. This allows them to develop greater autonomy and make more assertive decisions.
emotional development
Limits also play a critical role in children’s emotional development. By learning to manage their emotions and respect those of others, children develop important social skills that will serve them throughout their lives. Additionally, limits help children understand that they can’t always get what they want and develop the ability to tolerate frustration.
Mutual respect
Setting clear and consistent boundaries fosters mutual respect between parents and children. When children perceive that their parents take their limits seriously, they are more likely to respect the rules. and to value relationships with their parents and other adults, and likewise, they learn more easily to establish limits for themselves and respect them.
The limits prepared in childhood are like a simulation of society’s norms and expectations. By learning to live within a structured framework, children prepare to face the challenges of adult life more easily. They develop skills such as self-discipline, responsibility and the ability to make informed decisions.
In short, boundaries are an essential tool in parenting. By setting clear and consistent limits, parents help their children develop strong self-esteem, strong social skills, and an understanding of the world around them.
Keys to establishing limits in raising your children
Establishing limits in parenting is a fundamental aspect for the healthy development of children. But how to do it effectively and respectfully? Here are some practical strategies:
1. Communicate clearly and concisely
It is essential that children understand the rules. Use simple and direct language, avoiding ambiguities. Explain the reasons why you decided to set the limit, in a way that is understandable for their age. For example, instead of saying, “Don’t do that,” you can explain, “Don’t throw food on the floor, because it’s messy and unpleasant.”
2. Be consistent
Children need to know that the rules always apply and for everyone. Inconsistency in the application of limits can cause confusion and make learning difficult. It is important that you and other caregivers agree on the rules and consequences.
3. Become their example
Children learn by watching adults. If you want your children to respect limits, you must set the example. Show respect for others, keep your promises, and manage your own emotions appropriately..
Instead of focusing on punishments, emphasize positive behaviors. When your child behaves according to the rules, praise and reward him. This will strengthen their desire to continue behaving well.
5. Negotiate when possible
As children get older, you can involve them in decision-making. This allows them to feel heard and valued. However, it is important to set clear boundaries about which aspects are negotiable and which are not.
6. Stay calm
When your child challenges limits, it’s important to stay calm. Generally, when starting to grow, it can be an expected behavior, since it is a way of finding one’s place in the family and in the world; however, It is important to remind them that they can do it without breaking the rules of the home, since these promote good coexistence.. Avoid yelling or physically punishing, as this can generate more resistance and make communication difficult.
7. Listen actively
It is important to listen to your children when they express their feelings and frustrations. This will help them feel understood and valued, and will facilitate open and honest communication.
8. Adapt the limits to your child’s age and development
Boundaries should adapt as children grow and develop. What was appropriate for a 3-year-old may not be appropriate for a 10-year-old.
Although at first it may seem complicated to set limits, remember that by doing so consistently and respectfully you will be helping your children develop social, emotional and self-control skills that will help them not only for living together at home, but in their relationships with others throughout the life. life.
