The 5 Possible Sexual-affective Problems In Polyamory

Although polyamory as a form of romantic bonding has several decades of history, it has been during this century that it has become widely popular in our Western societies, mainly among younger people.

In many cases, polyamorous relationships between more than two people are less exposed to certain problems typical of relationships and can last for many years, but there are also some sources of discomfort that are more frequent in polyamory or present certain particularities in these cases.

Therefore, in this article we will talk about What are the possible sexual-affective problems in polyamory and how to work on them from sexology

What are the main sexual-affective problems in polyamory?

Relationships between more than two people are usually exposed to some problems that do not have the same prominence in traditional relationships; Below we will see the most common ones.

1. More sources of physical insecurities

Polyamorous relationships can more easily generate dynamics of comparison and competition in one or more members of it, which in turn enables the appearance of insecurities of all kinds when comparing oneself with other people in terms of image and physique. It is not uncommon for the fear of being “the ugly one” in the relationship to appear.

The most common and obvious insecurity that occurs in this type of love dynamic is the one that has to do with constantly looking in the mirror and this occurs when one person considers that they are not as fit as another, that they do not fit in the same way into the canons of beauty compared to the rest of the individuals involved in the relationship.

This phenomenon generates great discomfort in the person who suffers from it and in extreme cases it can become the origin of psychological disorders such as anxiety disorders, eating disorders or OCD, in addition to generating sexual dysfunctions.

2. Sexual performance insecurities

Sexual performance insecurities are also common in polyamorous relationships, as one person can often consider that she is not as good in bed as any of the other members of the relationship are

Again, this can affect the mental health of the affected person, their self-esteem and even cause sexual dysfunctions based on self-fulfilling prophecy and anticipatory anxiety, due to the complex they may feel towards other people.

3. Social pressure

Although Western societies are increasingly inclusive and tolerant, polyamorous relationships are not completely accepted in our environment, since some people consider them unacceptable perversions or unnatural sexual dynamics, judging them from a very moralistic and conservative perspective And this has implications for the way in which polyamory is lived, since there are many who try to hide that this is their sexual-affective relationship model.

This pressure, which can be more or less explicit or evident, can appear even in friends, not only in family or coworkers, which often pushes people to want to hide a polyamorous relationship. And this greatly limits the possibilities of expression of affection and appreciation for intimate contact.

4. Sexual incompatibilities

Although it is generally considered, through a series of clichés and stereotypes, that polyamorous relationships favor sexual encounters and allow the giving free rein to all types of fantasies in which all members of the relationship participate, the reality is very different. Sometimes it even happens that polyamory decreases the desire to have sexual relations with those people.

In many polyamorous relationships, certain incompatibilities occur in the sexual sphere, since it is easier for at least one person to feel excluded from the fantasies or the type of sex that others like

And, as there are more people involved in the same polyamorous relationship, it is more common for various interests, tastes or hobbies to clash in the long run, both in the sexual sphere and in any other area of ​​human behavior, especially if there is a communication problem.

5. Jealousy

Jealousy is one of the most common phenomena in open or polyamorous relationships; These usually occur because a person interprets that the other members of the couple do not pay as much attention to him or that they maintain a special relationship between them

Although polyamory is theoretically based on the absence of jealousy or toxic behavior of any kind, in many cases jealousy still appears, and causes the sexual-affective relationship to be damaged, as well as the communication between people.

How do you work from sexology in polyamorous relationships?

Sexology provides strategies and techniques for emotional management and self-knowledge that are very valuable in cases of polyamory, because Many of the sexual alterations that at first appear to be physiological in nature actually have psychological causes based on some of the problems we have seen (or several of them combined). Thus, some of the forms of intervention used in people who are in a polyamorous relationship are:

Are you looking for sexology services?

If you want to attend sexual therapy sessions to face and overcome problems like those you have seen here through sexology, contact us. In UPAD Psychology and Coaching we can help you.