Reframing In NLP: A Useful Tool For Coaching Processes (and For Life)
We have previously talked about other Neurolinguistic Programming techniques that allow or help coaching processes to be more effective. The fact that NLP focuses on thoughts, emotions and actions makes studying it and knowing its resources very helpful in any process of support and help.
The technique we are going to talk about is reframing which, as its name indicates, consists of seeking a new framing of situations What this tool achieves is so useful that it is not only used in coaching processes, but it is also commonly used in psychotherapy sessions and, in general, it can be used by anyone to live a life with more options and fewer personal blocks.
If we stop to simply analyze the name of the technique, we already understand what it consists of: it is putting a new frame. To what? To a lived situation.
Therefore, when we talk about reframing, it is about doing a change in the interpretation of the situation being contemplated which allows us to obtain different meanings from it that are more useful on a personal (or even professional) level.
It consists of examining an event in a different way than it had been done until now and that generally was producing a blockage, not allowing the person to move forward. It is, therefore, a change of focus when observing and understanding an event to obtain a different reading of it that focuses more on positive aspects than negative ones.
Why does reframing work?
Sometimes certain life situations such as a breakup, a loss of work, the detection of an illness… we only see it as something negative Of course this is initially the case. Reframing does not seek to ‘look the other way’ or deny less pleasant emotions. It simply helps so that, once the time for assimilating that situation has passed, we do not remain stuck in it.
In these types of situations, people can enter a loop of negativity that slows them down in their lives, not allowing them to move forward. With reframing you are invited to evaluate that event with other eyes where there are other possible perspectives, even positive ones.
For example, a sentimental breakup changing the focus is not only the end of love, but the beginning of a new path with oneself where one can get to know oneself a little better, which will have an impact on relationships probably being lived in a different way in the future. and perhaps the mistakes that have been made so far will not be made.
With reframing you get that ‘click’ or that ‘chip change’ where one realizes that there are more learnings and benefits in an event in which one’s own judgments and beliefs are only revealing the negative. Something that, as we have said, is very useful for help and support processes, but that anyone can learn to use in their daily lives to improve their performance at all levels.
How to use reframing in coaching
In coaching we talk about reframing the content or context of a situation and it is always done to give the coachee the option of finding new opportunities, especially when their beliefs and judgments about the event in question do not allow them to continue moving towards their objective.
This seeks to make a change in emotional state towards the situation, which will lead to a change in behavior and an increase in possibilities
Some ways the reframing technique can be used in a coaching process:
1. Search for approaches
Look for at least 3 different approaches to a situation, different from the one we have initially given. For example, when faced with the diagnosis of a chronic illness, in addition to the ‘negative’ fact of receiving the news and adapting to the new situation, a person can focus on the fact that their family is always there to support them; that now you are really going to give more time and attention to your self-care; and? That other problem you had with something else really wasn’t that important when compared to this
The coachee does not have to deny the situation that is not pleasant, but he does have to see that there are also positive things around it.
2. Confrontation of judgments
As it is commonly said, it is ‘turning the tables’. Make the judgments made by the coachee turn around and apply to themselves, making an exceptional change of perspective
For example, if a coachee says: ‘my partner doesn’t love me because he doesn’t accompany me to watch football games’, we can reframe it by asking, if you don’t accompany your partner to do something he likes, is it because you no longer love him? ? The ‘click’ that occurs is automatic.
3. Discover the true intention
In this case we are talking about reframing the behaviors of others (or even our own) that may be affecting us. Look for the reason or the true intention for which you may be acting in a specific way to understand that, Likewise, it is not a negative action per se, but because of how we look at it
For example, a coachee may be overwhelmed at work and say something like ‘my boss controls me at all times because he doesn’t trust me even though I haven’t caused any problems.’ Reframing could be done with the following questions: Why do you really think your boss wants to control you so much? Does he do it with everyone? Is he controlling in general? Why can he be? Maybe the new perspective gives us the idea that he does not know how to delegate and needs that control, so the focus of the problem is not on you, but on his problem.
In short, reframing is a technique that makes minds more flexible and demonstrates something that is often said a lot in personal development: we are, in the end, responsible for the meaning we give to what happens to us.
Learn the reframing technique
In D’Arte Human Business School We provide the three main training courses in Neurolinguistic Programming (Practitioner, Master and Trainer) and in all of them this reframing technique is present, like many others that allow those who know them to have greater personal performance at all levels.
Furthermore, this learning in NLP and its techniques is extremely useful for anyone who is professionally dedicated to accompanying people, since it gives them more resources to make this help process more effective and complete.
