Love is one of the most rewarding experiences that the human being can live. Finding that person who understands you, who gives you the best he has to make you happy and who thinks about you night and day is truly incredible.
However, not all love relationships end well, and when love comes to an end, there is usually always one of the two who feels like they have lost a part of their soul. His heart has been broken, and he reaches an apparent dead end: “I miss my ex-partner”, a phrase that summarizes the contradiction in which he lives immersed.
If you identify with what you have just read and feel a great impulse to return to your ex-partner, in the following lines you will find some keys that will help you understand the reasons why you should continue fighting for that love or let it go to always.
Now, first of all, you have to keep in mind that it is not just up to you whether you come back or not. That is why The goal should be to work to feel good about yourself, regardless of whether a stable couple is formed with that person again. This is important and you must understand it. To do this, you need to work on yourself and not force a possible return. It must be your ex-partner who misses you too.
Furthermore, getting back with your ex is not always possible, because if the relationship has broken down traumatically there is less chance of reconciliation. The sooner you accept this reality, the less suffering and dependence you will feel towards the other person.
It is also important that you know that this feeling of wanting to get back with your ex is totally normal. In fact, When a relationship ends, there is always the need to know about the other person, even if we are the ones who have left it. Our mind works like this because we have become accustomed to his presence, to the memories of his smile, to his smell, to his voice… we associate everything with his person.
Therefore, if ex-boyfriends continue to have contact, they often try again and again. As Jonathan García-Allen says in his article “The chemistry of love: a very powerful drug”, love is like a drug and you have to disengage from the other person when a relationship ends.
Love sickness is one of the most painful phenomena that human beings can suffer and it is something that we have all had to experience. Overcoming heartbreak takes time.
Heartbreak hurts just like physical pain
There are many who go back in search of that person because they do not have enough strength to move forward alone As I said, it is logical to want to have contact again with that someone with whom we have shared so many moments (some bad, but also many good).
Experiencing the desire to get back with your ex does not make you weaker, because emotional pain hurts just like physical pain. In fact, scientific studies with neuroimaging have shown that the regions involved in processing physical pain overlap with those related to emotional pain and social distress, as concluded by research by Jaffe carried out in 2013.
I miss my ex: what can I do?
As you see, it is logical that you think about your ex and it hurts. We’ve all felt this way and you’re no different from anyone else. But to the question “I think about my ex…what can I do?”, the answer is complicated. Because? Because many factors influence and each situation is different.
First of all you must assess the reason for the breakup (trying to do it as objectively as possible and, if necessary, asking for second opinions) and then you need to reflect on whether it is really healthy for you to return to that person. Sometimes, the desire to return is conditioned by your low self-esteem, fear of being alone or emotional dependence.
You should also keep in mind that it is not the same for a relationship to break up because of a simple fight than because there has been infidelity or a lack of respect since the beginning of the courtship. So regarding what you should or should not do, that response should depend on the situation.
After evaluating it, you must then decide whether or not you want to continue fighting for a love that is worth it, taking into account the other person’s predisposition: If he makes it clear that he does not want to resume contact, we must respect that
The answer: work on yourself
Now, there is something you should do when you think about your ex. The first of all is accept that relationships can break, and second, fight for your own personal development. In other words, the only thing you can do right now is focus on the one who loves you most, that is, yourself. You must fight to develop as a person, to know yourself better, to know what your motivations and needs are and, above all, take action to achieve your goals.
It is common that, when a relationship ends, by spending so much time with another person, one must regain autonomy and learn to be alone.
It is not good to rush, because this is a period that can help you grow and develop as a person. Investing in yourself is the best way to make the other person notice you again. Your goal, however, should not be that, but to be who you really want to be. If the other person decides to complement you, welcome
Advantages and disadvantages of getting back with your ex
If after working on yourself and feeling good about who you are, you still think that you want to get back with your ex, you should be clear that getting back with your ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend has a series of advantages and disadvantages.
The advantages of getting back with your ex are:
It can be good if there are children involved: especially if you have children, they can benefit from your return. As long as the conflicts are resolved.
You lose the desire to try it: you get rid of the thorn in your side and you can try it again. Maybe this time it will work.
The disadvantages to get back with your ex are:
It may not be the same: the damage may be so great that the connection between you has been lost. And also respect.
You close the doors to something new: insisting on getting back with an ex can prevent you from meeting other interesting people who may give you more.
It prevents you from developing: returning and returning to that person again and again takes away time from you to dedicate to yourself and does not let you get out of this vicious circle.
There can be a big resentment: if you have broken up many times, the resentment accumulates.
The damage can increase: if the resentment increases, there is also a greater chance that the relationship between you will end up worse than it was.
If you want to delve deeper into these advantages and disadvantages, you can do so in our article: “6 problems and 6 advantages of getting back with your ex-partner”
