Traffic, skyscrapers, noise, rush… The postmodern society It is characterized by having a frenetic pace, in which time has a price and a specific objective at each moment.
As Zygmunt Bauman postulates in his “Liquid Modernity” (2000), currently stability is unfeasible and flexibility is advocated This fact means that everything is ephemeral and must be taken advantage of: the information received, the virtual presence on social networks, social and work life.
A frenetic society that does not allow us to meditate
In a world where intimacy and self-knowledge are in danger of extinction, The trend towards individual retirement is increasing He hermitism or isolation in solitude is a technique present through millennia used for spiritual purposes, but in the process of which it encouraged self discovery.
This is how, feeling buried under the masses of the cities, the solution is to move away from them. Fray Luis de León already said it in his “Ode to Retired Life”: “what a restful life, the one who flees the worldly noise.”
(…) ”However, being social beings by definition, in order to be “beings” we must distance ourselves from the “social”?
Benefits of solitude
If hermitism has endured and has become a social trend, it is because it brings benefits to people. Surely throughout our lives, we have retired at some point and felt a strange form of well-being.
Dysfunctions of loneliness
Although all of the above processes are beneficial, They also carry certain risks Even the staunchest hermits maintained close ties with other people, thus revealing that isolation includes certain needs that it cannot satisfy by itself.
Unidimensionality Isolation and the absence of others make it impossible to contemplate other points of view that enrich oneself.
Dogmatism of individuality As long as other perspectives are not acquired and erroneous beliefs develop, the individuality of the person is increased. In other words, one becomes more unique and one’s contact with the world less permeable. In this way, the social presentation of the person is difficult, since now there is greater distance and difference with others.
Social maladjustment of self-discovery The three previous threats cause the person to decrease their social skills. Understanding that social life involves the interaction between several people, developing dysfunctional beliefs, without including others and impermeable, alter the person’s relationship with their social environment.
Clearly, it was to be expected that some problems could arise in solitude, since every coin has two sides. For this reason, it is necessary to consider other options such as self-knowledge through the group. Normally group relationships in this sense are characterized by being dedicated exclusively to leisure areas. However, with rules, implication and intentionality, It is possible that the group achieves therapeutic effects that can be extrapolated to the individual level, beyond a few drinks
Heterogeneity The most basic benefit of the group lies within itself: not being alone. The three basic premises of the group according to Lewin (1951) are interaction, exchange and interdependence; and with them the group is able to share and cooperate. In this way, different perspectives and points of view are known, expanding one’s own.
Correction of beliefs The first effect resulting from group heterogeneity is the correction of one’s own beliefs. Sharing allows the self-evaluation of one’s own beliefs based on those of others, discovering those aspects that did not work and correcting them.
Adding beliefs Many times, the same correction process involves the inclusion of external beliefs, since including other eyes allows us to see something in different ways.
Social Adaptability of Self-Discovery While there is a place for the social in personal development, how to relate to the social also coexists. That is, at the same time that different views of the world are acquired, the behavioral repertoire, “what is the most beneficial thing to do,” expands.
Social self-knowledge In the group not only does the individual self develop, but at the same time the social self does. Being in a relationship with others implies a way of projecting ourselves before them, a different way for each of the other members to interpret us and therefore, a unique way of treating us. This feedback gives us information about what our social self is like and, many times, we nourish our individual self from it. It is thus beneficial to observe “what I cause” to know “what I am.”
Resource management A final aspect to highlight is that, unlike loneliness, groups do not so easily allow isolation from information intoxication or the accelerated pace of life. However, they do have the ability to distribute these burdens, to share the restlessness of stress and anxiety. Thanks to this, the individual’s resource management is improved, often necessary since, upon descending from the hermitage, one will once again encounter the madding crowd.
Therefore, There is no single option for self-discovery, for finding yourself in this society You can either opt for the solitude of isolation, or for group company. A determining factor in choosing can be as simple as economic status or dedication. Retirement is a more flexible option, which the person can carry out when they plan. This is not the case of the group, since it involves attending to the disposition of various people. Likewise, other difficulties lie in the involvement of each one of them with the group and the resilience necessary to learn to manage it in times of storm.
The options are exposed: look at yourself or let yourself be looked at. Just as it happens in front of the mirror, we are aware of having two eyes, a nose and a mouth; but only before this do they show themselves clearly to us It is then when we can understand society as a reflection of ourselves. Now, what is more real? Could you live without your reflection?
Another important trick: approach the day to day with positivity
Few days ago We made a compilation of positive phrases that can help you find yourself and face everyday life with more optimism, energy and good vibes.
You can read them here: “25 short positive phrases to better focus on your daily life” And we also recommend this compilation: “20 wise phrases to reflect on life”
Bauman, Z. (2000). Liquid Modernity. Buenos Aires: Economic Culture Fund.
Lewin, K. (1951). Field theory in social science. Barcelona: Paidós, 1988.
