Long-distance Relationships: 10 Problems That Are Difficult To Bear
Long-distance relationships are an increasingly common phenomenon in an interconnected and globalized world The widespread use of the Internet multiplies the opportunities to meet someone living in a distant country and, as always, love does not understand approaches based on the usefulness of starting a relationship with a person.
However, some defend that the possibility of maintaining contact every day with someone who lives far away or who has the option of emigrating It’s actually a trap On the one hand, it makes it possible to meet many more people, but on the other hand it easily leads to frustration. It is possible that several decades ago the practical impossibility of maintaining long-distance relationships led us to live more isolated, but at least those we knew, we could normally see more frequently, since they lived in the same town, city or region.
And maintaining long-distance relationships is quite a psychological challenge.
People in long-distance relationships often talk about the early stages as a period in which the illusion of falling in love It is mixed with the anticipation of the problems that will arise later due to remaining separated from the couple. They feel “hooked” or “trapped” in an unforeseen situation but that little by little has become an extra concern: making the relationship viable.
All relationships in general can be the origin of certain problems of greater or lesser intensity, but long-distance relationships, in particular, have some characteristics that make them more likely to encounter certain obstacles or uncomfortable situations. These are the main ones.
1. Uncertainty
The perception that the distance between two people is in itself a source of problems that will always be there as long as the relationship is long-distance is, paradoxically, another problem. This is so becauseand serves as an excuse for pessimistic thoughts to appear anticipations of a traumatic love outcome or a rarefied atmosphere that will gradually distance the members of the couple.
2. Possible source of lack of commitment
By assuming that the chances of the relationship not succeeding are high, lovers are more likely to be reluctant to truly commit, for what it could happen. Somehow, our expectations about what will happen in the future affect what we feel in the present, causing us to “adapt” so as not to expose ourselves so much to receiving a harsh psychological blow.
This can be perceived by the other person as a lack of interest, which generates arguments and general discomfort.
3. Jealousy
Jealousy is not an essential ingredient in relationships, but People predisposed to being jealous have their Achilles heel in long-distance relationships, in which information about what the other person does is scarce. If this jealousy crosses a certain threshold, paranoid thoughts cause the person to adopt a possessive and totally toxic role, which harms their partner.
4. Planning the meetings
The need to keep in mind a schedule of meetings in which the sacrifices made by both members of the couple are equal is a source of stress. In many cases it is a slight annoyance, but In other cases, combining studies and work with these getaways can generate real stress crises
In some long distance relationships The feeling of guilt is one of the frequent sources of discomfort The reason is that sometimes some people believe that they are not doing enough to see their partner more frequently and to make the days they spend physically together well spent.
Perfectionism and the desire to make these periods compensate for the annoyance of being separated for a long time often cause disappointment and frustration when verifying that the proposed (idealized) expectations have not been met.
6. Problems enjoying time together
The anticipation of the provisional goodbye means that in many cases the time spent with the couple is not enjoyed For example, if you are planning a week-long getaway in a foreign country, sadness may take over the experience during the last two or three days.
This makes it more difficult to turn moments together into something happy, which little by little is being associated with unhappiness attributable to a partner who does not suit us.
7. Lack of physical contact
It is one of the great drawbacks, and It is based on the lack of moments of intimacy, eye contact and caresses that are usually necessary not only to feel good but also to make the relationship mature and mutual knowledge be enriched thanks to non-verbal language.
8. Limitations of communication channels
The communication channels through which contact is maintained in a long-distance relationship can present problems: infrequent phone calls, lack of coverage, limitations in Internet access, etc. This can generate stressful situations at specific times in which you come to think that the other person could be having problems.
On many occasions, the members of a long-distance relationship meet in areas that are halfway between each other’s places of residence, or they spend time together alone. This means that they do not get to know the social circles in which the other person moves well losing the opportunity not only to make new friends but also to see the social side of your partner from another point of view.
10. Potential boredom
The disadvantages mentioned above, added to the fact that you often spend time alone, mean that These moments of direct contact occur in a context of isolation and, sometimes, a certain monotony. A cost-benefit analysis can make moments spent together seem insignificant or irrelevant.
