Being happy is one of the main objectives that we human beings have, that is why many studies have been carried out to find out what makes people happy. Well, science is clear: there are activities, thoughts, behaviors, attitudes that determine how we feel.
Many times, without realizing it, we fail to be happy because we make mistakes or carry out toxic habits that negatively affect us. Happiness consists, in part, in giving up
In the following lines you can find a list of thoughts and behaviors that we must correct to enjoy greater well-being and be happier.
1. Renounce perfectionism
Perfectionism may seem like a positive thing because we can associate it with the idea of wanting to do things in the best possible way. But Perfectionist beliefs cause great discomfort in people, since they cause us to have expectations that are too high, often unattainable. Extreme perfectionism and happiness are not compatible, because this way of thinking produces anxiety, depression, low self-esteem…
You can learn more about this phenomenon in this article: “Perfectionistic personality: the disadvantages of perfectionism.”
2 Renounce hatred, anger and revenge
It is normal to feel hatred and anger at some point in our lives, for example, when our partner leaves us. But this feeling, which can be part of the phases of couple breakup, cannot control our lives. There is nothing positive about feeling hate towards others and wanting revenge can actually complicate things and make us feel even worse. Don’t let hate and anger control you.
Human beings are social beings, and many times we want to make a good impression on others. But you cannot let these thoughts dominate you, as they will make you extremely unhappy. Happiness is achieved by knowing yourself and fighting for what one likes.
4. Renunciation of always possessing the absolute truth
Although it is sometimes difficult to admit it, we are not always right. If we want to be happy we must be tolerant of others and respect their opinions and freedoms, which creates a climate of tolerance necessary for everyone to express themselves without becoming frustrated. We must also do self-criticism in the sense of recognizing our own mistakes when we have them.
5. Renunciation of the past
To be happy it is necessary to connect with yourself in the present moment. We can no longer live the past, so there is little point in living anchored in previous moments of our lives if it is not to learn from them. Being in the here and now with all your senses is crucial
6. Give up being too hard on yourself
It is also normal for many people to be very hard on themselves, to blame themselves for everything and, when faced with failures, to dwell on what could have gone wrong. It is possible to learn from mistakes, and things will not always turn out well for us. Be certain that there are ways to get up after a fall It is what is going to help us be happy.
7. Give up negative thinking
And when we do not accept that sometimes we can fail, negative thoughts invade our mind. We value ourselves negatively and our self-esteem and self-confidence are shaken. This causes us to freeze instead of moving
8. Waiver of complaint
Complaining out of habit doesn’t solve anything. If we don’t like something about ourselves or a situation, we have to do our part to address the problem. Simple complaining is still a way of not facing reality and, therefore, makes us unhappy.
9. Give up your need for control
People who are obsessed with controlling all the events in their life They suffer from what is known as generalized anxiety, and you cannot be happy if you want everything to turn out perfect. Imperfection is important in our lives and, therefore, it is necessary to let go of excess control.
Excess control can lead us to fear uncertainty, to not be comfortable in those situations in which we are far from our comfort zone t. If we want to grow as people and be happy, we need to take a step forward and not be afraid of uncertainty.
11. Give up avoiding facing problems
Resistance to facing problems is one of the characteristics of a weak personality, because it is easier to blame the environment or others than to assume that perhaps something we did could have worsened our situation. Facing problems is key to being happy and to get moving to solve them.
12. Give up thinking about what others think of you
Spending the day thinking about what others will think of you can be very exhausting, so You have to avoid constantly thinking about giving a great, impeccable image facing others. For example, uploading photos from your vacation to get the admiration of other people.
13. Give up the barriers you impose on yourself when changing
Resistance to change is a phenomenon that people can experience and that also It is closely related to the comfort zone and the anxiety that uncertainty produces Likewise, low self-confidence is also related to resistance to change. That is why you can follow a series of steps to improve the confidence you have in yourself and thus empower yourself to transform your life.
14. Give up blaming others
Excusing yourself by blaming others is a waste of time, because it doesn’t allow you to move forward When you blame others for your failures, you do not take responsibility and you do not direct your life in the direction you want. To be happy you must take control of your life, and this means possessing the ability to be responsible.
15. Give up self-blame
Just because you don’t blame others doesn’t mean you should blame yourself and crush your self-esteem. You must Be aware that there are good and bad moments in life this will allow you to adopt a positive attitude towards change.
Emotions have an adaptive function in our lives, and that is why they are and have been useful for the development of our species. But not knowing how to correctly manage these emotions can negatively influence our well-being. That is why it is necessary to know how to identify and regulate them so that we can live in harmony with ourselves and with others.
Emotional attachment in itself is not bad, but individuals not only attach themselves to other people, but we also do so with objects and, even worse, with our own narratives, which is called the “conceptual self.” Knowing how to detach from emotions is possible if we have the ability to observe, live in the present, adopt a non-judgmental mentality and treat ourselves with compassion.
17. Renunciation of fear
Fear is a very adaptive emotion, but When it is irrational it can be disabling and cause tremendous discomfort. Overcoming fears is necessary to be happy.
18. Give up procrastination
Procrastination is the complete opposite of the phrase “don’t put off until tomorrow what you can do today.” It is an excuse and, therefore, it makes you an unproductive person This can cause problems for your well-being. For example, when you feel stressed because you have accumulated tasks by not doing them on time.
19. Renunciation of prejudices
Prejudices can make you a miserable person, especially in those cases in which you are sexist, racist, etc. According to a study carried out by researchers at the Federal Institute of Technology Zurich (ETH), people with prejudices are at a social disadvantage they don’t learn anything new and often miss opportunities.
21. Give up judging others
Some individuals spend a lot worrying about what is happening in other people’s lives. This behavior is disruptive and a waste of time. Better to spend time on ourselves and in our happiness, as well as in developing as people.
22. Give up unreasonable expectations
If living in the past is bad, so is living in the future. Furthermore, if we have irrational expectations, the consequences for our emotional health can be devastating. Now, having goals in life is motivating as long as they are realistic.
23. Renunciation of social impositions
Social impositions (not laws) can cause a lot of suffering to people. The beauty canon, getting married almost out of obligation, not being able to have liberal relationships …are some beliefs that predominate in society and are classified as “good.” The behaviors associated with these beliefs are socially accepted. But social impositions do not allow us to be ourselves and can affect our well-being. As long as you don’t do anything to anyone, you reflect on these beliefs and act based on your true desires.
