Sometimes it seems like relationships are a lot of work and become horribly complicated. But if we stop to think, we realize that having a healthy relationship is very simple as long as both members of the couple are able to put aside their own insecurities and bad experiences from the past.
Relationships are where the most manifested emotional deficiencies and the irrational beliefs that each person has acquired throughout their life history. Inappropriate patterns learned in childhood are replicated and people often act through a biased way of seeing the world.
A culture that does not promote healthy loving relationships
From my point of view, The society we live in does not exactly favor healthy relationships The songs, the movies disneytelevision series and romantic novels show us a conception of love that is not real and promote a series of beliefs about couples’ relationships that they do not help these to be maintained over time in a satisfactory manner.
In this article I want to talk about the keys to having a healthy relationship of the keys so that two people, each with their personality, with their experiences and with their way of seeing life, can contribute something to each other for a long time (sometimes, their entire lives).
What are the 7 keys to maintaining a healthy relationship?
If I had to say a single indicator of whether a relationship should continue it would be the following: Does your relationship add to or subtract from you? Does it help you be better and develop as a person? Or, on the contrary, does it limit you and is a source of discomfort rather than positive emotions?
1. Always love from freedom
Love from freedom means being clear that the other does not belong to you, that the other is a person who freely decides to maintain a relationship with you and who is therefore free to leave at any time. Loving from freedom means accepting that the other has the right to make the decisions he wants, and to choose what he wants to do with his life.
It means that everyone must have their private space, their privacy Loving from freedom means that we want to share our life with others, but we do not need it. It means accepting that we are two different people and not one. package Two in one, it means leaving our insecurities aside and getting the other person to be with us because they want to and not through manipulations that prevent them from finding another better person. It means that our partner knows thousands of people but still prefers us.
2. Learn to communicate
Good communication is one of the basic pillars of the couple, since Dialogue is what allows us to create a common life project where it is very important to negotiate, give in and reach agreements.
Proper communication can make arguments become constructive and bring the couple closer together, instead of separating them and creating resentment. Furthermore, reserving a daily space to talk with our partner about anything is an excellent habit that will help strengthen and maintain a satisfactory relationship.
The area in which inadequate communication causes the most problems is that of discussions You can learn to argue in a constructive way, in which we respectfully contribute our point of view and explain how we are feeling, without having to enter into a conflict. vicious circle of reproaches and accusations in which we will most likely end up arguing about something that happened years ago, leaving aside the topic that started the argument.
I leave you some guidelines for learning to argue constructively:
I know that doing this is really complicated, and that Sometimes what you feel like is yelling at your partner and throwing objects all over the house but I assure you that if you breathe deeply, wait for your activation level to lower to speak and use these guidelines you will get much better results.
Each person has had different experiences and a different previous learning history, which is why they have a different personality and see the world in a different way than you
If you put on blue glasses and I ask you what color you see the world, you will answer blue, right? And surely no matter how hard I try to show you that it is yellow, and that you are not seeing it in the correct way, it will be impossible for you to agree with me since your world really is blue.
Our learning history causes us to see the world in one color or another, and for us the world will simply be that color because we see it that way. The problem is when for one of the members of the couple the world is blue and for the other it is yellow, this is the time to think green
You don’t always have to agree with what your partner thinks, I think we insist too much on being right, when the ultimate goal is to resolve the conflict.
When you detect that you both have completely different points of view, instead of continuing to argue because you are right and getting your way, proposes intermediate solutions that include both points of view Neither blue nor yellow, Green!
4. Share quality time with your partner
Share quality time with your partner is a key element so that the relationship does not end up mired in routine. I understand that sometimes we have a very busy life and we practically live it on autopilot without realizing what is happening around us, but reserving some time to share it with your partner should be among your priorities if your goal is to maintain a healthy couple relationship.
Go out to dinner one day, a weekend getaway, your favorite movie with popcorn, etc…
5. Never stop taking care of the relationship
At the beginning of relationships we usually show our best side to the other, we are detail-oriented, we give compliments, etc… However As time goes by, these gestures tend to decrease until sometimes they disappear. Relationships are like plants, if you don’t water them, they die. So if you want to keep your relationship fresh and colorful, never stop watering it.
Something as simple as telling the other how handsome he is todaygiving him flowers, inviting him to dinner, taking him to the place where you met, etc… can keep the relationship in an excellent state for a long time.
6. When you want the other to change, change yourself
I think we went too far trying to change people, most of the time without obtaining any results. People only change when they want to change, or when their environment changes.
Therefore, if what we want is for our partner to change, the best thing we can do is change us
If we want him to stop going out with his friends so much, it will probably work better to thank him on the days he stays with you all afternoon than to reproach him every time he goes out. If we want him to be more affectionate, what if we started showing more gestures of affection?
7. Respect and trust
Without respect and trust there is no possibility of a healthy couple. To love is to respect and trust and without respect and trust there is simply no love.
Relationships based on jealousy and lack of respect are destined to fail. Not to mention cases of infidelity in marriage.
Concluding
In summary, although we could add some more points, from my point of view these are the seven key points so that a relationship can work in the long term and be satisfactory for both members of the couple.
