Human beings are, above all, emotional beings This implies that we do not feel emotions in a few moments of the day, but rather that we always live according to an emotional state. Your emotions, then, not only influence your mood, but also condition your behavior, your way of interpreting situations, your decisions, even your way of relating and communicating.
What is the emotion that affects us the most? Without a doubt, fear, being the most subtle and the one that has the most important mission of all: protecting your life.
Learning to understand and manage your fears is probably the most important learning about yourself that you can do to grow and generate psychological well-being. You have heard about fear a thousand times… but what are yours? What are the fears that really block and condition you the most? How to overcome them?
In any process of change in which I accompany a person we always find that there is fear. In this article we are going to see what fear really is, what its function is, what the most common fears are, but above all, that you discover what yours are and take the first steps to overcome them. For more than 10 years I have been accompanying people as a psychologist and coach in their change processes and this step is essential, so let’s go for it. Don’t be afraid!
One of the most common labels we give to fear is that it is a “negative emotion.” These types of categories belong more to psychiatry, when some type of diagnosis is made. However, emotions, in themselves, are all positive since they all have a reason for being.
Sadness helps you figure out what you think you need, anger can help you figure out what you want to have control over, and fear helps you figure out what you consider dangerous. This is why fear is such a difficult emotion to manage: because it has the most important mission of all, which is to protect your life. The problem, then, is not fear… but having too many fears, of too many things, and above all not being aware of those fears and not knowing how to manage them.
However, The most common fears are not of animals, airplanes, accidents… but rather they are more subtle and elusive and they condition your life in a way that we cannot imagine. Even people who consider themselves very unscary are surprised when they discover all the fears they have.
Fear works in the following way: in the face of that situation or experience that has impacted you and that you consider dangerous or that violates you in some way (breakups, comments, needs), fear arises to try to paralyze you and make you avoid the supposed dangers (which in reality they are not such). Over time, we learn to behave in a way that is totally conditioned by fear even if we are not aware of it. In fact, our behavior is sometimes always directed towards avoiding those situations that make us feel afraid.
We are going to reflect on some of the most common fears, but first I leave you with this video where we delve into this topic in a much more personal way (the article continues below). Hit play!
There are some recurring fears in all human beings Let’s delve deeper into what your fears are by seeing what the five great fears are (some of them are present in almost every person).
1. Fear of loneliness
The fear of loneliness implies either a constant need to be surrounded by people, stimuli or to have a partner or even because of our own fear of loneliness, we tend to behave in such a way that we isolate ourselves (before the proposition, you get ahead of yourself).
2. Fear of not feeling loved or valued
This fear is one of the most common and It makes us constantly analyze whether the other’s behavior implies affection or appreciation, but according to your own way of understanding and feeling it. Since the other is another person, expectations are not met and fear is validated and continues.
3. Fear of losing your own personal value
When your well-being depends on external factors that we cannot control, there is an insistence on trying to validate your personal value because you have identified so much with what you can do that your well-being depends on it.
4. Fear of freedom
It is also one of the most common fears. Living without a guide, without references it usually scares us because we consider life as a constant uncertainty.
5. Fear of losing control
When there are too many needs, angry behaviors or frequent arguments, it implies that we want to be in control as well as a low tolerance for frustration.
Now let’s see what your fears are. Try to answer these questions on a sheet of paper (physical or digital) with total honesty:
I make you a very special proposal. At empowermenthumano.com you have several options to take the first step in your personal change process. You can even schedule a first exploratory session with me to get to know each other, explore your situation, discover what the problem is, find a solution and see how I can accompany you. Fears should not be overcome, since they are useful… it is just a matter of understanding and managing them. That’s what will make everything change forever.
