What Happens When A Psychopath Falls In Love?

When we think of the term “psychopath,” what image comes to mind? Probably, that of a male, between twenty and thirty years old, lacking remorse and cold as an ice floe ; and with uncontrollable impulses towards the most barbaric and sadistic acts that we can imagine.

Now, to what extent do we project a stereotype promoted by the media? Is it really a pathology with a greater incidence in the male gender? Recent research provides new information about subjects with this disorder, including What is it really like to fall in love with one of them?

Related article: “Psychopathy: what happens in the mind of the psychopath”

Love and psychopathy: an impossible binomial?

Psychopathy takes many forms, one of which includes a subclinical variety of people with high scores on personality tests that measure their predisposition toward psychopathic tendencies (although not as behavior). per se). If it is interpreted as a continuum in which the scores to be obtained are modifiable, one can perceive how the degree to which the subject has psychopathic tendencies is linked to other aspects of the subject’s psychology and interpersonal relationships.

Psychopaths and romantic relationships: scientific literature

There is reason to think that subclinical psychopaths might have difficulties in their intimate relationships According to a study carried out at Laval University (Quebec) in 2015, common criminals adopt an insecure (avoidant) attachment style, which causes them difficulties in creating deep relationships with others.

Those who fit the classification of “psychopathic personality disorder” (regardless of whether or not they engage in criminal behavior) They often exhibit behaviors associated with an avoidant attachment style, thus being clumsy to establish any type of intimate relationship. Two of the key indicators of this disorder, emotional detachment and lack of empathy, are also associated with maladaptive attachment styles.

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Yes, psychopaths can also have romantic relationships

Even so, Subjects with typical psychopathic manifestations can engage in romantic relationships, without necessarily implying that they will later get married or not, or that they will establish a more serious bond of commitment. It is true that these relationships may not be the result of real psychological intimacy in the strict sense, but of the convenience of a couple with a common point of view of the world that would justify both of them trying to get the most out of other people.

The lack of empathy and the inability to express emotions of a certain psychological depth could lead to the disintegration of their bond due to the adoption of destructive patterns of interaction between them that would increase. In extreme cases, there could even be abuse and violence, but it would not be common.

Even those couples that a priori seem doomed to failure are apt to prosper if the most psychologically balanced individual is able to exert their influence on the other. Over timethis would allow them to form a bond that would favor the development of a greater degree of trust even being able to observe situations from the perspective of others.

Attachment and psychopathy

To discover how attachment style and psychopathy can evolve over time, the team of researchers at the University of Laval used a sample of couples who had been married for a year. This made it possible to examine mutual effects and influences during the study time. In total there were 140 couples, aged between eighteen and thirty-five, who had been together for an average of seven years.

Participants completed a series of questionnaires separately, rating themselves on scales that were designed to measure their tendencies toward low empathy and manipulation (traits of what is known as “primary psychopathy”); as well as their inclination to carry out antisocial behaviors (attributes typical of “secondary psychopathy”). Added to this, the attachment style of each person was measured, along with their degree of anxiety regarding abandonment and avoidance, understood as the inability to want to get closer to others.

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The purpose of having the subjects “self-score” in two different categories allowed the research team to assess the influence of each member of the couple on their partner’s scores. All couples were heterosexual, so the study design favored considering the influence between both sexes.

The authors were able to compare the intensity of the relationship of the “actor” (the one who exerted the influence) on the other (the one who received it). They also had to consider the temporal changes specific to each man and woman separately from the effect that the spouse had on them and that, in turn, each one had on the other.

The psychopathic personality, closely linked to the fear of intimacy in the couple

What could be deduced from all this? The “actor-actor” effects showed that, in the case of men (but not women) with higher scores in primary psychopathy in the first test (callousness), it was possible to predict higher levels of attachment avoidance at the time of the second test Men, in addition, expressed stronger relationships over time between primary psychopathy and anxiety derived from attachment, meaning that the more psychopathic the man is, the greater the degree of suspicion he will have toward intimacy.

For both men and women, the attributes inherent to psychopathy (those that lead to antisocial acts) predicted higher levels of attachment avoidance and anxiety over time. Impulsive and irresponsible behaviors were intrinsically linked to fear of rejection and a tendency to leave one’s partner.

According to the results of the effects of the “actor-partner” pattern of men towards women, it was concluded that, for them, having a male partner with more outstanding levels of psychopathy in the two dimensions (impulsivity and insensitivity) from the beginning of the relationship, leads them to end up separating from him. On the contrary, men paired with women with high scores only on the impulsivity dimension became more anxious in their attachment style. On the other hand, those women with antisocial propensities instilled fear in their spouses of the possibility of being repudiated in addition to making them more dependent and emotionally unstable.

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General trends, not causalities

Do we have to think that this correlation necessarily implies a cause-effect relationship? The structure of the study allowed us to conclusively examine those paths of psychopathy that predict attachment and, conversely, which paths of attachment predict said disorder. In summary, psychopathic personality qualities should be understood from a binomial perspective and more as predictors of insecure attachment styles, and not the other way around.

In conclusion

So, from everything said so far, what ideas do we have to stay with?

For those women who date men who tend toward the callousness and emotional harshness typical of the end of the psychopathic spectrum: be alert, for the worst is yet to come. Your partner’s inability to empathize with you will only cause you to end up finding refuge in yourselves.

Regardless of whether you are the man or woman in the relationship and whether your spouse is highly impulsive, the couple will tend to suffer significant ups and downs If you are the one who displays behaviors typical of psychopathy, your (already poor) ability to relate intimately with the person you are committed to will be diminished as time goes by.