Who has not experienced that knot in the stomach before speaking in public, or the feeling of wanting to hide in a room full of strangers? Shyness is that uncomfortable feeling that often makes us feel like we are trapped in an invisible bubble when faced with social situations. It affects people of all ages, races and cultures, and is part of the human condition.
Socially, it seems that shyness has been punished much more over time than the ease of speaking and relaxing in any situation. It is important to start with the idea that behavioral, emotional and human responses should not be labeled as good or bad, but simply as what they are: social, natural and specific responses of each person.
In this article, We are going to validate shyness and help you reconcile with it It is important not to invalidate the social behaviors of others and, on the contrary, motivate all people to accept, respect and love themselves just as they are.
Shyness can be defined as a sensation close to anxiety or apprehension experienced when a person finds themselves in social situations or interactions for which it is difficult for them to develop responses. It is usually more related to unknown or new people or situations. It can manifest itself in different ways, from mild discomfort to intense social fear when not managed appropriately. Some people feel shy only in specific situations, such as public speaking, while others may experience it more generally in their daily lives.
Shyness is not a uniform experience, each person manifests it in different ways. Some common manifestations of shyness are:
1. Social avoidance
Shy people often tend to avoid social situations that make them anxious This can lead to social isolation, as they feel more comfortable staying home than facing uncomfortable social encounters.
2. Difficulty starting and maintaining conversations
Starting a conversation can be challenging for shy people, as they fear rejection or judgment from others. For the same reason, they have difficulty maintaining fluid conversations because bThey try to get out of them as quickly as possible to avoid any uncomfortable or anxious situation
3. Avoid eye contact
Lack of direct eye contact can be an indicator of shyness, as looking into someone’s eyes can be uncomfortable for shy people. Averting your gaze and avoiding being the focus of attention are usually characteristic signs of shyness.
4. Mental block
In social situations, shy people may experience a mental block that makes it difficult to find words or maintain a flowing conversation. To the people you are trying to communicate with, this It can cause discomfort or doubt and thus increase their social isolation
5. Blushing and sweating
Shyness can manifest itself physically through symptoms such as facial and body flushing, excessive sweating, and tremors. These, in turn, can cause even more discomfort or embarrassment for shy people, thus increasing their avoidance of the social situation.
Causes of shyness
Shyness, as we have been saying, is a complex emotional response and, in many cases, rooted in our life and personal experiences. It is difficult to say that there is a single, specific cause, but different factors can be identified that can increase the chances of developing shyness as part of our personality:
1. Past experiences
Traumatic or embarrassing experiences in the past can contribute to shyness A romantic rejection or an embarrassing incident can leave emotional scars, generating doubts about one’s own behavior and directing it in a way that avoids conflict or uncomfortable social situations.
2. Genetics
Some research suggests that shyness may have a genetic component. If you have shy parents or family members, you may also inherit this tendency. However, it is being studied whether shyness can be explained more by genetics or by interaction with our environment.
3. Lack of self-confidence.
Low self-esteem and lack of self-confidence tend to fuel shyness. Shy people often doubt their own abilities and worry excessively about what others may think of them.
The cultural and social environment in which we grow up can also influence our shyness. Cultural expectations and social pressures can increase feelings of anxiety in social situations
Negative effects of shyness
Shyness, although a natural and common emotion, can have a significant impact on our lives if not managed properly. In this section, we will explore the negative effects that shyness can have on various aspects of a person’s life.
1. Personal relationships
One of the areas most affected by shyness is personal relationships. Shy people may have difficulty establishing new friendships and maintaining close relationships. Social avoidance can lead to isolation, and a lack of communication skills can make shy people feel disconnected from others.
2. Job opportunities
In the workplace, shyness can also be an obstacle. Shy people may feel uncomfortable speaking in public, participating in meetings or job interviews. This can limit your opportunities for career advancement, as confidence and communication skills are often associated with success at work
3. Personal development
Shyness can hinder personal growth. Those who constantly avoid challenging situations may miss out on opportunities for learning and development. Overcoming shyness involves facing our fears and leaving our comfort zone, which can be essential for growth and self-realization.
4. Self-esteem
Shyness can also negatively affect self-esteem. Shy people often judge themselves harshly and may feel that they are not valuable or interesting enough to others. This can create a cycle of negativity that reinforces shyness and low self-esteem
5. Missed opportunities
Shyness can lead to missing out on exciting opportunities in life. From the opportunity to make new friends to the chance to embark on professional adventures, shyness can prevent people from exploring their potential and enjoying what life has to offer.
Tips to reconcile yourself with shyness
As has been presented since the beginning of this article, it is important not to perpetuate the punishment of shyness that has been established in our societies. In general, more extroverted and open-minded personalities tend to have a better impression on people, but this is nothing more than social learning. All personalities should be valid and respected. In conclusion, we propose some tips to reconcile yourself with shyness and enjoy it or modulate it if you want to do so:
The first step to overcoming shyness is to accept it as part of you. The shyness It gives rise to natural emotions and there is nothing wrong with experiencing it Understanding why you feel shy can help you address your fears more effectively. Understand that it is not a bad thing, that each person has their own personality and characteristics and that it does not make you better or worse to be a certain way.
2. Set realistic goals
Set specific, achievable goals to address your shyness. Start with less intimidating social situations and gradually work your way up to more challenging ones The vast majority of people have a much greater capacity to adapt to new situations than we think, it just consists of learning to face it.
3. Practice communication
Improve your communication skills by practicing regularly. You can do it in front of the mirror, record yourself speaking, or even join groups or classes where you can learn and practice effective communication techniques. Searching for online content to learn to communicate in a social way can also be very positive, or listening to stories of shy people commenting on their experiences.
4. Develop confidence in yourself
Work on your self-esteem and self-confidence. Make a list of your achievements and positive qualities and become increasingly aware of them, embrace them and give them your own name. Practice self-care and praise your successes, no matter how small they are, and don’t punish yourself for being a shy person; It’s not something you can change overnight.
5. Practice active listening
Active listening is a powerful tool in social interactions. Pay attention to what others say and show genuine interest. This can alleviate the pressure of constantly talking and foster deeper connections. Furthermore, in the same way as you do with others, practice active listening with yourself and with your thoughts, emotions and sensations regarding social interaction and participation.
6. Seek support
Talk to friends, family, or a therapist if you feel that shyness is affecting you significantly. The support of trusted people can be invaluable on your path to improvement. Don’t be afraid to reach out to a mental health professional, because they may be the best person to give you the help you need to avoid punishment and embrace shyness.
