Husbands Are 10 Times More Stressful Than Children, According To Study
Relationships and marriages are not always a bed of roses there are times when the situation becomes complicated, since conflicts between members are frequent.
However, many times these problematic situations can even be beneficial, because if the situation is resolved maturely, mutual learning can make the couple grow and there is a greater degree of intimacy and rapport.
And coexistence is not easy. Each member of the couple has their values, their needs, their habits, their way of understanding life and adjusting that to the way of thinking of the other member of the relationship is not always simple.
Each person is a world, each couple is a world and each family is a world. Idyllically, adults must set an example and must support each other in everything and contribute equally to family life: in financial contributions, in the education of children… But when one of the two members of the couple feels that they are giving more than the other, conflict may arise.
The daily life of a couple or marriage can be stressful.
And living this situation daily clouds communication and makes the relationship difficult. Conflict can end up being the daily life of the relationship and stress can manifest. There are many women who complain of having to do household chores in addition to their own work, dedicating their entire lives to the family.
Therefore, it is not surprising that a survey carried out in the United States, in which more than 7,000 mothers gave their opinion, concluded that husbands generate 10 times more stress than their own children. 46% of the participants stated that their partners caused highly stressful situations for them.
Husbands and added stress
Some women even claimed that their husbands added work to their daily lives They even gave them more work than their own children. As if that were not enough, some participants stated that while their children barely gave them headaches, their husbands’ childish attitude bothered them a lot.
Additionally, some complained about the fact that their partners did not help them with daily tasks, so they did not have free time. Obviously, these situations were stressful for them, which caused a great perception of discomfort.
Question of expectations
According to the researchers, these results may be due to irrational expectations Many mothers know that their children will cause conflict situations for them, as a result of their age.
However, the same is not true for husbands, as they are expected to be a support rather than a burden. “You can expect a child not to understand certain things, but not for an adult to behave like that,” explains one participant. Another, she adds: “I am physically and mentally exhausted when my husband comes home. I feel like it’s another job having to keep an eye on him.” We must not forget that a mother’s love can do everything.
And what do the husbands think?
Analyzing the data, we could think that parents are the main causes of the world’s ills For this reason, the same researchers decided to find out more about their opinion on the matter. To do this, they conducted an investigation with 1,500 parents, and half of them acknowledged having shared childcare with their partner. The strange thing was that of the 2,700 mothers interviewed, 75% said they were doing everything themselves. Many fathers also confessed to feeling hurt because they believed they had a secondary role in the family. Likewise, they expressed that they would like to be recognized for their efforts from time to time, at least with words of gratitude.
This study reveals that there is a problem with communication and expectations in many homes. Some fathers believe they are doing enough and it is not recognized, while mothers think this is not true.
Whose fault is it?
Leaving aside the data from this study, the reality is that being a parent is already stressful In this situation, it is easy for sparks to fly in the relationship and parents to blame the other member of the couple. Being parents can cause really complicated moments.
And if a relationship is already complicated on its own, if you add the work of raising a child on top of it, expenses increase, etc. tension can appear at any time. Fathers and mothers are still people and, therefore, they are imperfect. It is important that parents’ communication improves and that there is tolerance between them, because the first one who will suffer the consequences of this type of situation is the child themselves.
Parents, in addition, also come out of these conflictive situations badly Several studies found that a stressful marriage, where there is constant conflict, is as detrimental to heart health as smoking and increases the chances of suffering from cardiovascular diseases in men as well as women. Additionally, a recent survey of 300 Swedish women found that the risk of suffering a heart attack multiplies by three when their marriage is conflictive.
Books for parents
Almost all parents want the best for their children. But raising a child is complicated, especially with the first offspring. Nobody is born an expert.
That’s why, a good educational psychology text for parents can be very useful because even with the best intentions, it is not always educated correctly.
