What Is Frustration And How Does It Affect Our Lives?
Frustration: we define the concept and explain how to avoid falling into its clutches.
You hear it a lot every day, in the media. “The coach ended up frustrated by not being able to turn the game around”, “he was overcome by a strong feeling of frustration by not being able to get that job”, etc.
But, What exactly is frustration and what implications does it have for our success at work and personally?
The concept of frustration is defined as the feeling that is generated in an individual when they cannot satisfy a stated desire In these types of situations, the person usually reacts on an emotional level with expressions of anger, anxiety or dysphoria, mainly.
Considering as an inherent aspect of human life the fact of assuming the impossibility of achieving everything one desires and at the moment in which one desires, The key point lies in the ability to manage and accept this discrepancy between the ideal and the real Thus, the origin of the problem is not found in the external situations themselves, but in the way in which the individual faces them. It is understood, from this perspective, that frustration is made up of both a real situation that occurred and the emotional experience created from said situation.
How to successfully deal with the feeling of frustration?
Proper management of frustration becomes an attitude and, as such, it can be worked on and developed; Frustration is a transitory state and, therefore, reversible In this way, adequate frustration management consists of training the individual to accept both the external event – what has happened – and the internal one – the emotional experience of it.
Frustration can be categorized as a primary or instinctive response It is a reaction that naturally shows an emotionally unpleasant state when interference occurs in the pursuit of a proposed objective.
This is the approach proposed by authors such as Dollard, Miler, Mower and Sears in 1938, originating a new field of research on this previously little explored topic. The intensity of the frustration reaction can vary substantially, to the point of causing impairments even at a cognitive level in highly serious situations, such as the appearance of alterations in memory, attention or perception capacity.
People who usually react by expressing frustration are attributed a functional characteristic called Low tolerance to frustration This style seems to be more prevalent in current Western society, where most of the phenomena that make it up are based on immediacy and the inability to wait.
Individuals who present this way of doing things are also characterized by having rigid and inflexible reasoning, with little capacity to adapt to unscheduled changes. Besides, They usually have a series of distorted cognitions that do not adapt to reality due to which they interpret having to deal with more unpleasant emotions such as anger or sadness as unbearable and leads them, on the other hand, to develop a series of prior expectations that are far from rational, excessive and extremely demanding.
Studies linking frustration with violent behavior
The study carried out by Barker, Dembo and Lewin in 1941 proved the link between frustration and aggression and revealed how decisive the expectations generated by the individual prior to the potentially frustrating situation are.
Subsequently, Berkowitz qualified these initial findings and included other modulating aspects in the aggression-frustration relationship, namely, the subject’s motivations, the attitude towards the problem, his past experiences and the cognitive-emotional interpretation made of his own reaction.
How do people with low frustration tolerance behave?
In general and in a summarized way, People who have a functioning based on a low tolerance for frustration have the following characteristics:
1. They have difficulty controlling emotions.
2. They are more impulsive, impatient and demanding.
3. They seek to satisfy their needs immediately, so when they have to face waiting or postponing them they can react explosively with attacks of anger or extreme withdrawal and sadness.
4. They can develop anxiety or depression more easily than other individuals in the face of conflicts or great difficulties.
5. They believe that everything revolves around them and that they deserve everything they demand, so they feel any limit as unfair since it goes against their wishes. It is difficult for them to understand why they are not given everything they want.
6. They have a low capacity for flexibility and adaptability.
7. They manifest a tendency to think radically: a thing is black or white, there is no intermediate point.
8. They are easily demotivated by any difficulty.
9. They carry out emotional blackmail if what they want is not fulfilled immediately, manipulating the other person with hurtful messages.
What factors can cause it?
From among the factors that can predispose and/or precipitate the appearance of a low frustration tolerance disorder The following are distinguished:
Learning frustration tolerance (and the REPT Model)
Frustration tolerance is a learning that must be consolidated during the early stages of child development
Very young children do not yet have the ability to wait or understand that not everything can happen immediately. Thus, the procedure that usually operates when low frustration tolerance functioning is applied begins at the moment when the child cannot have what he wants and manifests an exaggerated catastrophizing reaction for that reason.
Next, given his interpretation of said situation as something unbearable, he begins to generate a series of self-directed internal verbalizations of rejection (“I don’t want to do/wait…”), punitive (blame others), catastrophic evaluations of the situation (“it is unbearable”). “), demands (“it’s not fair that…”), self-hatred (“I hate myself”).
After this phase, Behavioral responses emerge in the form of tantrums, crying, complaints, oppositional behaviors or other similar manifestations. In this way, it is understood that there is a bidirectional relationship between the feeling of frustration and the negative interpretation of the situation where both elements feed each other.
From childhood to adolescence and adulthood
All of this, It can last until adulthood if the person has not been instructed in learning to modify cognitive schemes and emotional interpretations that facilitate the adoption of a more tolerant and flexible style.
Among the main measures that are usually part of the training to promote adequate frustration tolerance are components such as relaxation techniques, learning to identify emotions, indication of specific instructions on when the child should ask for help in a certain situation. , carrying out controlled behavioral trials in which potential scenarios are simulated, positive reinforcement of the achievements achieved by the child and acquisition of alternative and incompatible behaviors to the frustration reaction.
Therapies and psychological strategies to combat it
Regarding the psychological techniques and strategies that are used as a resource to consolidate this type of learning in the parent-child environment, an adaptation of Albert Ellis’s Rational Emotive Therapy has been proposed: the “Rational Emotive Parental Training (REPT)” model.
The REPT is a useful tool that helps parents better understand how emotions work, what purpose they have and how they relate to the cognitions and interpretations that are generated after an experienced situation. It becomes a guide to apply in relation to children’s problems, as well as self-application for adults.
More specifically, the objectives of the REPT lie in providing parents with relevant information about the model that explains emotional regulation so that they can transmit this knowledge to their children and serve as a guide to use in potentially destabilizing situations, achieving adequate management of emotions. the emotions aroused. Besides, It is an instrument that offers a set of information that enables them to detect erroneous educational guidelines applied, as well as a greater understanding of the motivations underlying the child’s behavior. Finally, this proposal aims to facilitate the internalization of a more active functioning in relation to coping and solving problems more efficiently.
The main contents included in this novel and effective model are the components: parental psychoeducation in the adequate management of one’s own emotions that facilitate correct educational practice and in self-acceptance that distances them from stigmatizing situations, training in alternative responses to focused frustration in a state of calm where the reasons why the child’s demand cannot be met are reasonably explained, the exercise of empathic capacity by both parties that facilitates the understanding of the other and the application of the principles of Behavior Modification theories. (positive/negative reinforcement and positive/negative punishment), fundamentally.
In conclusion
In conclusion, it has been possible to observe how the phenomenon of frustration becomes a set of learned reactions that can be modified with the establishment of new alternative cognitive-behavioral repertoires.
These learnings are a very important part of the set of aspects to integrate during child development, since are at the basis of inactive functioning in problem solving and potentially complex situations at later stages; a general attitude of loss of motivation that can make it difficult to achieve various life goals; and a tendency to manifest unrealistic cognitive schemes that are close to catastrophizing the situations experienced.
For all these reasons, it seems essential to carry out joint family work from early times to prevent the appearance of this very non-adaptive behavioral style.
