Indeed, perhaps I am being pedantic when trying to answer a question that is difficult to answer ; but I want to do it anyway because it is one of the questions that I get asked the most in the consultation. Why am I so unlucky? What have I done for everything to go so wrong?
If this question often torments your mind and you don’t know why you attract bad luck, then you will have the subjective feeling that everything is going wrong for you, or that you have a very bad mood You keep hitting rock bottom, everything seems to be getting worse and you can hardly lift your head, it’s as if you have a damn magnet for the negative things in life, all the options that life presents you are either insufficient or become too dark. The stars are aligned against you… What have I done to deserve this?you exclaim helplessly.
This feeling of being a passive and helpless spectator in the face of life’s relentless misfortunes must be a real torture, right? You must feel like a voodoo doll, desperate before the stabs of human existence.
The vice of blaming bad luck
Nevertheless, Believing that you always have bad luck can become your worst vice Trying to convince yourself of this is looking for the ideal justification to not get out of that indifference towards life, and that, dear readers… can lead to depression, since if everything that happens is the cause of destiny, chance or karma (whatever it is for you), self-deception), why the hell fight? Much more comfortable to resign yourself and do nothing.
There is no need to despair, deep down you know that you have an alternative, You know that that blissful feeling of doom that takes over you can be, partially, a product of your own psyche Consequently, you have the power to modify those negative thoughts that eat you up inside.
Changing beliefs to attract success and luck
Success is not achieved through good luck, it is the direct result of constant effort in fact luck does not exist and if it exists it does not depend on us, then we are only left with our own will to power for what we can transform.
Related article: “Successful people and unsuccessful people: 7 differences”
Let’s explore it, let’s try to explain why we think that one has bad luck, to give us some simple tools to be able to face it.
1. The fantasy of eternal stability
Possibly, when you have experienced a good streak you have not been fully aware of that unreal illusion that tells you that this good trend will last forever, something that you took for granted. Nothing is eternal (and that is a physical principle against which we can do nothing) but our mind tries to create a metaphysical reality where time does not pass and everything remains immovable, as if it were a cartoon where all the characters are always happy.
In fact, you think the party will never end but suddenly everything ends and you are left there, perplexed and confused.
Solution? I do not have a magic wand that allows me to solve the problem at once, but since our entire existence is a cyclical dynamic (although events are never repeated in the same way) the sensible thing would be to add to our vocabulary the concept of finitude. Life will always be in constant change, the good and the bad will take turns although at certain moments you believe that everything remains static and permanent.
So I suggest that every time that “everything always goes wrong for me” or “I have very bad luck” comes to mind, don’t take it so literally or give so much importance to those thoughts.
2. Locus of control
The external locus of control is a term widely used in psychology; It means that when you face problems, you tend to believe that they have little or no relationship with your behavior. Therefore, You attribute the cause of these difficulties to bad luck with the logical result of experiencing a feeling of helplessness and despair that causes you to think “I always have bad luck, I’m a damn unfortunate person!”
Opportunely, you forget that you have a choice over the circumstances around you, that destiny is not determined and that you have a lot to do. You have to focus on what depends on you. Realize the relationship between your behaviors and the outside world. Take the reins of your destiny!
3. Selective view of events
When you think that the God of misfortune has taken it upon you, you are reviewing the most unpleasant experiences you have had in your life and ruling out focusing on the positive experiences, which surely have also been many. Do not misunderstand, I’m not saying that such misfortunes don’t exist, but I am saying that you are leaving the rest of the experiences in the background
Solution? Take another point of view Attention is selective, and you decide where you focus and what aspects you want to focus on. Try the opposite exercise to what you usually do. Make a list of all those moments in which you have felt happy. Have a more global and objective vision of your life without regretting so much about the misfortunes that you have had to experience.
