Everything Goes Wrong For Me: Possible Causes, And What To Do

Everything goes wrong for me

There are times when there is not a day in which we do not wake up on the wrong foot. We go to work or school and we are already late. Once there we have a huge pile of work that is more difficult and heavier than usual. We try to wake up by going to the coffee machine, it swallows the coins and deprives us of our caffeine fix.

“My day is going badly… everything is going wrong!” we think. Are we bad luck magnets? Aren’t we good at what we do? Are we worthless? and other phrases like that come to our mind. We assume that when things go wrong for us it means that there is something wrong with us.

Why does everything go wrong for me? The great mystery Is it destiny? We are? What’s happening? Here we will see some possible answers.

Everything goes wrong for me!

It has happened to all of us that we have a time in which nothing we had proposed turns out the way we wanted. We stopped doing what we were doing and asked ourselves, frustrated, “what the hell is going on?” Everything goes wrong for me!”. Life is not a straight and stable line, but is marked by ups and downs and In its lows we tend to see things in a more pessimistic way since it seems that the world is conspiring against us or, also, that we stop being competent and become useless.

These bad streaks are normal. We cannot expect that we will always be happy and that everything will go well for us. However, although we can keep this reality in mind on many occasions, seeing that nothing goes right, there are continuous disappointments and it seems that what we had proposed is not going to be fulfilled, it is inevitable to think that everything is going wrong for us. They are moments that never stop hurting and attract demotivation, reluctance, apathy, anxiety and depression.

People are dreamy beings and we set all kinds of objectives in various spheres of our existence such as work, our partner, friends, personal projects and goals to be successful in life. When something bad happens and it seems to sabotage our dreams It is inevitable that we wonder if there is something in our lives or something in our own way of being that has generated an entire situation full of misfortunes and misfortunes. Could it be that we have a bad attitude or are we really worthless?

Before becoming even more stubborn and bitter about the negative situation in which we find ourselves, where disappointments cloud our vision and do not allow us to see the light at the end of the tunnel, what we have to do is reflect and calm down a little, stop the machine. To the extent we can, we should rest a little, both physically and mentally. Rest and slowing down a little are very good for acquiring a more global and adjusted image of what is happening, in addition to stopping that hum, that mental rumor that tells us all the time that everything is going wrong for us.

What is happening to us?

We live in a society of extremes. From the media and all types of organizations they tell us that we have to be happy, idealistic, optimistic and energetic people The message that we have to be “happy” 24/7 is very beautiful and, at the same time, toxic, basically because it makes us clash with our realism. People are not happy beings all the time, since depending on our personal characteristics, education and the context in which we live, we will see life in one way or another, changing depending on the time in which we live.

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No matter how optimistic we consider ourselves, sooner or later periods come when we are a little sadder. One should not think that this sadness is depression, since it is a relatively long-term mental disorder if it is not treated with adequate professional help, but rather we are talking about euthymia, that is, changes in mood within expected and non-pathological normality. There are days when we are happier and others when we are sadder.

Being within one of these stages is normal for our vision to be more pessimistic, especially applying it to what we do and what happens to us. Naturally, It is in these times that our mistakes and the misfortunes that occur in our daily lives will be seen in a more exaggerated way, seeing how everything is really going very wrong for us. Every mistake will make us think that we are worthless, and every misfortune that the world, God, destiny or whatever has turned against us.

But sooner or later the bad streaks fade and the good ones arrive. All the pessimism that we had shown in the previous period is replaced by optimism and motivation: the light has arrived at the end of the tunnel, which had never stopped being there. We learn that anyone has a bad streak, that we are worth a lot, that there are many things for which we have to be happy and that the good always compensates for the bad and even surpasses it.

However, although stages of certain pessimism are normal, this does not mean that they are harmless and, in fact, if they are prolonged or we focus too much on everything bad that is supposedly happening to us, we run the risk of getting stuck in them. The reasons that make this happen are varied, although they are usually personal, such as our own way of being, our self-esteem and self-worth. If we don’t stop the noise about the bad things that happen to us, we are going to stretch it and stretch it until it becomes a serious problem.

Possible causes

There are several reasons why we have the thought of “everything is going wrong for me.” One of them is impossible to control, capricious and unpredictable: bad luck Bad luck is a variable that, even without being measurable, we know is there, not to ruin our lives but because in life there are moments of luck and moments in which we don’t have as much. It may be the case that, due to pure bad luck, what we had proposed does not work out, and we cannot do anything about it.

But Leaving aside bad luck, there are many personal factors that influence our way of seeing reality, factors that can be changed both with self-effort and by seeking professional help. Among these factors we can find the following:

1. Filtering phenomenon

It is common that behind the belief that everything goes wrong for us there is a cognitive distortion. People perceive reality based on what we “want” to see. If we insist on seeing everything bad that happens to us and we do, that is, we have a very negative view of reality, it is not surprising that we see that many things go wrong for us.

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The phenomenon of negative filtering refers to a situation in which people focus on the bad and leave aside the good, which undoubtedly also happens. People are human beings and it is in our nature to make mistakes, but we also get things right many times and do things well.

2. Learned pessimism

As we have mentioned, we live in a society that sells us the message that to be fulfilled you must always be happy. The problem is that this same message collides with another message issued by our closest circle of acquaintances, especially family, friends and other significant people, which is nothing more nor less than Murphy’s Law: if something has to go wrong, it will.

This pessimism is a cultural trait, like language, traditions, gastronomy or any other and, therefore, it ends up being learned. It is difficult to get rid of a pessimistic mentality if we have grown up receiving these types of messages since we were very young and expecting the worst from the world and from ourselves, even in a minimally healthy way.

3. Lack of self-esteem

Naturally, one cannot talk about the thought of “everything goes wrong for me” without talking about a profound lack of self-esteem. Low self-esteem is not a state that a person reaches overnight, nor does it have to be kept that way for life. Self-esteem can weaken, vary over time and with experiences, experiences which can make us doubt our worth and cause us to have a negative self-concept.

If we have very low self-esteem and also our self-concept, this is the way we see ourselves, it is negative, it is not surprising that we attribute everything bad that happens to us to ourselves. We think that not only bad things happen to us, but that we are also the ones who attract them.

Low self-esteem and negative self-concept are aspects that must be worked on in the consultation of a psychologist and by carrying out an important self-revaluation exercise.

4. Covert disorder

The feeling of “everything is going wrong” can actually be a symptom of a psychological problem, a mental disorder that requires psychotherapeutic intervention Mood disorders such as depression and anxiety can be the source of a pessimistic mindset.

The common pattern in depression is to blame oneself for the bad things that happen and attribute the good things that happen to luck. Depressed people tend to think that the misfortunes that happen to them are their fault and that they actually deserve it, while any credit they can get they think is because the situation has been very kind to them. This way of thinking is very dysfunctional and needs help from a psychologist.

5. Hard times

Finally we get the idea of ​​hard times. Sometimes bad luck manifests itself in all its splendor and extent, causing us to live a period in which things are not looking good objectively speaking The economy falls, our company goes to hell, we have broken a leg and any other misfortune can occur, deeply affecting our lives.

The world changes and, sometimes, a series of coincidences and the fact of being in the least appropriate place and place causes us to have a misfortune that causes everything to go wrong. Hopefully sooner or later our situation will improve and for now all we can do is live through the difficult times the best way we can. Life is not easy and waiting for it to be perfect will make us even more bitter.

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What can we do if everything goes wrong?

As we mentioned, it is normal to notice that we are going through a time in which everything goes wrong for us. Even so We should not sit idly by and dwell on all the bad things that are happening to us, but to see how we can change our situation and what degree of control we have over it. Focusing on what we are unlikely to achieve for now because bad luck does not allow us to do so is torturing ourselves. The best thing is to stop the physical and mental machinery for a moment, calm down and reflect on our situation.

The first thing we should do, taking advantage of this pause of body and mind, is to ask ourselves: what aspects depend on us? Is there something external to us that has influenced it? Can we control it? This step requires deep meditation, a reflection that will allow us to clarify what has happened and find out which negative events that have occurred in chains have made us fall into the pit of “everything is going wrong for me.”

Once we have seen what depends on us and what we do not, we must accept the idea that there are things that are not within our control. Since we cannot control them, it is not worth being bitter about them. It is true that sometimes life is very unfair and brings us really cruel events, but even so, what is the point of complaining over and over again? Isn’t remembering the bad the same as reliving the damage that was done to us? Difficult times eventually pass, but they never will completely if we don’t stop thinking about them.

There are times that are more complicated than others and we have to accept it. Let’s assume the complexity of the world Bad luck will truncate many of our projects and objectives, but that does not mean we should give up and get used to the idea that nothing is going to turn out well for us. In the same way that something seems like it is not going to work out for us, there is surely another option that will work out. When a door closes a window opens.

It is also necessary to pay a little attention to the type of thoughts we have. Given the possible causes that make us think that everything is going wrong for us, we must ask ourselves if we are applying a negative filter to our reality, that is, if we pay too much attention to bad things that we undoubtedly do (like anyone else!) and we ignore the good that we also have. As we have said, focusing only on the bad and neglecting the good is a bias, it allows us to see reality objectively.

Taking all this into account, we emphasize taking a break, whenever possible. The mind and body become exhausted when used too much and fatigue causes us to apply the filter of negativity The machine that is our being has to be oiled and recharged from time to time. Once we have done it we will have energy again, more vitality, a not so pessimistic view of the world and full of optimism.