How To Get Out Of A Relationship That Isn’t Working? 7 Key Ideas
How to get out of a relationship that isn’t working? Although most of us will surely have had to face a situation like this, it is not an easy task.
And relationships are complicated in and of themselves, and they often put us in situations that require us to make decisions, sometimes very painful ones.
In this article you will find several guidelines on how to get out of a relationship that is not working which are in no way intended to be a guide for all cases, but rather a small support to turn to if we are forced to face a situation like this.
How to get out of a relationship that isn’t working
Through these 7 guidelines that we propose in relation to how to get out of a relationship that is not working, we will reflect on the different phases in which we are likely to go through from when we doubt our relationship, until we decide to end it and face the much feared grieving process.
1. Think carefully about what you want
Before figuring out how to get out of a relationship that isn’t working, it’s a good idea to be more or less sure of this decision. While it is true that most of the time, when we leave someone, we are not 100% clear, many times what we are clear about is that we do not want to continue like this So, before deciding anything, think carefully about what you want in your life.
To do this, do this little exercise; Visualize yourself in a few years… do you see yourself with that person? Is this really the future you want? These questions do not have an easy answer, but that is why we must try to think about what we want, without letting the fear of loneliness or dependence influence our decision.
To know what exactly we want in our life (or something close to it…), we must analyze our current situation, in this case, with our partner. Are we happy with it?
Or on the contrary, do we always live waiting for something to change? It is normal to go through stages of doubt in any area of our lives, not only with our partner. However, when these doubts block us and extend over time, this is no longer so.
Think about it like this: Something is wrong if you think more about what you lack than what you have… could it be that what you have doesn’t really make you happy? You should not be afraid to face this feeling, since it is a legitimate feeling.
On the other hand, if after analyzing the current situation with your partner (how you feel with them, what you miss, if you are really happy, if the relationship compensates you or if you suffer more than you enjoy, etc.), you realize If something has been wrong for too long (something that perhaps you have already tried to solve, without success), it is time to act.
And Albert Einstein already said it… “If you are looking for different results, don’t always do the same thing.”
3. Make a decision
If after going through the previous step, you realize that the current situation with your partner is not really what you want, at this point you can take two directions: continue in the relationship and fight for something that deep down, you know. that doesn’t work, or end the relationship.
The second option is surely the most difficult to take, but also the most liberating, in case you find yourself in a relationship that does not really make you happy.
4. Be firm with the decision
Good, You have made the decision to end the relationship, but now it is time for the most difficult part… keeping it
In this step on how to get out of a relationship that is not working, we suggest that you be firm in your decision, especially in the first moments, when everything is more recent and when you are surely more emotionally vulnerable.
What if I was wrong?
If after the first days (or weeks, it all depends on the person…) you are not sure that you have chosen the path that made you happy, rethink your decision. Do you regret ending the relationship?
Don’t put pressure on yourself or blame yourself for it ; As imperfect beings that we are (thank God!) we make mistakes, and it is never too late to rectify them. Change direction if you feel like it.
5. Take back your life
How to get out of a relationship that isn’t working? Start taking your life back. If you have already gone through the previous point, and you have realized that you really made the right decision, It’s time to take control of your life again
Breakups are usually painful, whether we leave them or they leave us, so first of all you will have to assume that the pain will be there (at least at first), and that you must face it.
We don’t have to hide it or repress it… we are hurt, but we have to continue So, try to get back to your routine and your life, focus on it but also look for activities that motivate you and that “take you away” a little from day to day, meet up with your friends…
The goal is not to avoid pain, or not to face it, but to stay active so that little by little you regain a certain sense of calm and normality.
6. Be flexible with yourself
The sixth step (or guideline) on how to get out of a relationship that is not working is this: be flexible with yourself. This means that you should not blame yourself for what happened; He simply assumes that this is how things have gone.
Being flexible also means giving yourself moments to release that sadness, those nerves or that anxiety … That is, giving yourself “permission” to be bad, to be good when you start to recover, to have moments of weakness… It is likely that, at certain moments, doubts will return: “Did I do the right thing”?
It is normal for these feelings to appear from time to time, but think that what you decided was decided for some reason, that it is there, and that there are no right or wrong decisions, only people who, trying to be happy, try, get it right, They make mistakes, they regret it, they fight…
7. Take care of yourself and listen to yourself
Continuing with the stages of the breakup, if you find yourself at this point, Another useful tip is to take care of yourself and pamper yourself, and to give yourself spaces and moments to reinforce yourself
We have all been through a breakup (and if not, someday we will), and although it can be a really hard and complicated time, the journey is made more enjoyable if we take care of ourselves, do things we like, eat and sleep well, do some sport, we talk with family and friends about what’s happening to us…
Furthermore, taking care of ourselves also means listening to ourselves; listen to both our body and our emotional state (and they are often linked): what do we really want? Are we getting enough rest? Are we giving ourselves the love we deserve?
Everything that involves betting on our well-being, both physical and mental, will involve small steps towards our recovery and healing. Let us not forget that everything that begins, ends, and that is why it is important to enjoy the present without longing excessively for the past or projecting too much into the future, since the only thing that exists is today. As the sociologist and philosopher Zygmunt Bauman said: “While it is alive, love is always on the verge of defeat.”
