How To Overcome A Relationship Crisis: 6 Useful Tips
It is very common for couples to go through difficult times, and even times of real marital or courtship crisis. For this reason, this topic is a constant in psychology consultations, since we have couples therapy services as one of our most popular forms of psychological assistance.
However…how to overcome a relationship crisis, either before or during the beginning of couples therapy sessions? In this article we will talk about it.
Keys to understand so that marriage or courtship goes well
First of all, it is important to be clear about a series of ideas to understand the way in which relationship problems should be approached. They are the following.
1. Communication is the key
No relationship will work well if there is not a constant flow of communication, regardless of whether it is a married couple who lives in the same home, or whether we are talking about a couple who have not yet moved into a flat to share. As we will see, the lack of dialogue causes problems to arise very quickly.
The simple fact of tolerating someone and coordinating well within a framework of coexistence It does not indicate that the relationship is going well In fact, if what keeps two people together is nothing more than the sum of those elements, the relationship is probably going through a bad time, or at least going through a stage of emotional stagnation. Loving each other involves more than living together.
3. Problems, if not addressed, accumulate
Many people are tempted to, after arguing, act as if nothing had happened and settle for the fact that neither oneself nor the other person feels angry with the other. This is a bug that will cause problems at the slightest that there is a new argument, due to the resentment or frustration that has been accumulating.
How to overcome a relationship crisis?
Of course, The ideal is to prevent couple crises from appearing do what is necessary so that we do not reach a point where the love relationship is significantly damaged.
However, once this has happened, all is not lost: in many cases, it is possible to make a move to get out of this situation and make the marriage or courtship stronger again.
How to overcome these bad moments that a couple’s relationship is going through? Here you will find several tips that, although they are simple to explain, require perseverance, commitment to the idea of improving and effort.
1. Avoid wanting to win in every argument
Many times we fall into the trap of confusing discussions with contests in which we have to stay ahead of the other no matter what the cost. This only fuels the conflict, obviously.
But, paradoxically, an argument is also an opportunity to reconcile because your self shows that you are capable of not getting carried away by the impulses that lead you to get angry, and shows understanding and empathy, this is a powerful show of love, and will help the other person have reasons to build bridges, by see that on the other side there is someone listening.
2. Deal with past problems honestly
It is difficult to get out of a relationship crisis if at least one of the two parties believes that they have been the victim of a grievance. This can happen, for example, if she considers that she has made more sacrifices than the other person to be able to live together. Talking about this transparently is necessary to achieve balance. Which brings us to the next point.
3. Symmetry must be achieved
Relationships based on dependency or codependency are doomed to suffer turbulent periods, because it is not sustainable to make a large part of our lives depend on the arbitrary or unilateral decisions of the other person. We have to be at a point where we both give what we receive.
4. It is necessary to recognize mistakes
This is basic. Without the ability to look back and recognize that we have made a mistake, it is very difficult to love, or even live together. It is not okay to make excuses or assume that the blame is shared: we must clearly communicate that we believe we have acted wrong or made a mistake, and offer a way to repair the damage caused.
You don’t just have to address the problems and talk about them to achieve an agreed solution. You also have to do it soon, without leaving everything “for the next day.”
The simple passage of time does not solve relationship crises; It only makes the situation more frustrating, by investing more weeks, months and years in a courtship or a relationship in which no one learns from their mistakes. Talking about delicate aspects that expose our mistakes is uncomfortable, but necessary
6. If you have major problems, go to couples therapy
Today, couples therapy is a service widely used by all types of people, even those who are not even considering separation or divorce. In these sessions, psychologists offer our training, our therapeutic tools and our advice and mediation power to create situations in which patients can communicate, discover errors invisible until that moment, and do something to remedy the relationship crisis.
If you are interested in having professional support to overcome the amotosis crisis in your marriage or dating relationship, At Consulta Despertares we offer couples therapy in all our centers You can find us in Madrid, Getafe, Leganés and Móstoles. To see our contact details, click here.
