How To Turn The Page With Your Ex After The Breakup: 8 Psychological Tips
When a relationship ends, it does not always do so on good terms; In some cases it is necessary to know how to close cycles and understand that it is time to move on.
Memories always remain, but the way we face the end of the relationship is what makes the difference between having a bad time for a long time and for no reason, or not doing it at all. In this article Let’s review some tips to know how to turn the page with your ex, and prevent the grieving process for the breakup from getting out of control. It is normal that at first we feel sad, but we must not let the negative feeling intensify and immobilize us.
To know how to move on with your ex, you must understand what happens during a breakup. In these cases we stopped receiving the gratification that being in a relationship with the other person represented for us and it’s time to face the fact that the relationship is over.
During this process, it is normal for us to present intense states of anguish, denial, anger or frustration, among other negative feelings that only cause harm to ourselves and prevent us from having an adequate quality of life (at least while we are going through the process). of grief due to breakup).
Falling in love is, apart from a feeling, an organic process that occurs thanks to the secretion of certain substances by our brain (happiness hormones). When a dating relationship ends and one of the parties is still in love, an abrupt cessation occurs in the production of these substances. This situation makes it easier for the subject to begin to look for ways to recover the pleasant feeling that being with the other person caused you and many times they try in irrational ways, without taking into account the negative consequences of their actions.
How to turn the page with your ex?
In the following lines we are going to list a series of tips regarding how we can turn the page and correctly overcome the fact of having ended a dating relationship.
1. Focus on facts, not wishes
To begin, we must keep in mind that our desires for that person are intense, and that makes it difficult for us to see the reality of things as they are really happening. What is recommended is take into account the facts of the relationship, rather than our personal desires
If you are able to evaluate things objectively and logically, you will be able to realize that things have happened in a way that you were not evaluating, and that the best thing is to face the facts accepting that there are things that we cannot change, because they are personal decisions of the other person.
2. Close cycles with that person
We should not go through life leaving open cycles, we will only be able to prolong a state of suffering, which does not have to be so prolonged. Besides, Eventually we will have to face the situations that we leave unfinished in life
The correct way to close cycles is by expressing everything we carry inside; our feelings, our deaths, and in general, our thinking regarding the situation: in this case, the breakup we are going through. The ideal is that we do this catharsis with the people involved in our process (ex-partner)
3. Boost your assertiveness skills
When talking to your partner to let them know how you feel, try to be assertive with your words that is, express what you feel without disrespect.
Even if you suspect that some things you are going to say may hurt, in assertive communication there is nothing left in the pipeline if it is considered relevant and significant for what you want to express, of course, taking care of your manners and trying not to hurt in any way. free form.
Avoid any conflict with that person at all costs. You just have to tell him what your feelings are regarding the breakup, without trying to change your decision Ideally, you should accept that everything is over and say goodbye with your head held high.
4. Work on aspects of your personal life
Once you have spoken to your ex to let them know your impressions, It’s time to continue with your life and reinvent yourself healthily At first it may seem complicated to cope with, but as the days go by you will see how things take their course and you will be able to regain emotional stability.
Do a self-assessment of yourself and Find out what are those aspects in which you can improve, make a list of them, and then look for activities that can help you improve your lifestyle. For example, start new healthy routines.
Don’t be afraid to talk to your friends about the topic. Being vulnerable around them won’t make you look weak ; In fact, people who are able to share their difficult experiences come across as self-confident. Additionally, your friends will be able to give you support and some advice.
6. Avoid isolation
Don’t allow the situation to completely isolate you from the world. It is reasonable that you want to be alone for some time to put your thoughts in order but after a few days you should go back to frequenting places and socializing with other people who are not necessarily your closest friends.
7. Avoid dating other people out of spite
Wanting to abruptly replace your ex with someone else will only sink you deeper into a dysfunctional relationship dynamic. It is best to give yourself time to properly get over the breakup you just had ; If all goes well, after a few weeks you will be able to date without significant problems, but not before you have gone through the healing process.
8. Apply new sources of gratification to your daily life
Instead of trying to suppress negative emotions (i.e. those that hurt), The ideal is to direct your attention to activities that have the ability to capture your mind and be stimulating From these types of experiences it is easier to extract a new lifestyle that allows us to turn the page and get “hooked” again on reality and its possibilities.
