Nervous On The First Date: How To Manage Them, In 8 Tips
All of us are programmed to feel anxiety in certain situations that we perceive as dangerous or risky, whether for our physical or psychological integrity.
Therefore, the fact of having gotten a first date with that person we like represents both an achievement and a stress factor. On the one hand we are happy to have the opportunity to date someone special to us, but on the other hand we feel great pressure not to make mistakes. In this article Let’s see how to manage nerves on the first date regardless of whether we are shy people or not, so that they do not become an impediment to enjoying the evening.
As we have seen, the nerves on the first date respond to the fact that we perceive a risk that something could go wrong and make the encounter unpleasant, which would represent emotional discomfort for us. It is a biological response that has physical and mental repercussions.
It is natural that we all feel nervous about seeing the person we like, because we want everything to turn out perfect, just as we have imagined. In other words, we are primarily responsible for causing our anxiety, with our thinking and expectations.
It is not bad to be cautious and have expectations regarding our first date, the problem begins when we think that things will go wrong before we have even started having our date. Nerves are nothing more than the anxiety we feel caused by the fear of things getting out of our control.
The anxious subject presents a catastrophic thinking pattern, in which he imagines that things inevitably end up going wrong for him, regardless of everything. This situation causes a series of physical and psychological consequences that represent significant discomfort.
Some of the physical consequences may be excessive sweating, headache, muscle tension, hand tremors, etc. Regarding the psychological consequences, the tendency to isolation, thoughts of rejection towards one’s own person, and inadequate feelings in general are common.
How to manage anxiety on the first date
Now we will see a list with several practical tips that will help you overcome the characteristic nerves of the first date.
1. Consider that the other person may also be nervous
Getting used to the idea that the other person may also be going through the same nervous situation as you is somewhat reassuring, since generates a feeling of equal conditions for both It is not at all unreasonable that this is the case, since nerves are natural.
2. Adopt a positive mindset
Negative thoughts, which are usually involuntary and intrusive, are combated with voluntary positive thoughts. What we are going to do is make each unpleasant thought we have associated with a pleasant stimulus or thought.
For example, if we have the idea that our date will be a disaster because we don’t know how to maintain a conversation for too long, and we are afraid of awkward silences, we respond that this time it will be different because we have prepared ourselves for this situation.
3. Pre-appointment preparation
Preparation prior to the event is key to reducing anxiety ; It is about imagining the different scenarios that could occur during the meeting, and identifying those situations where we could have difficulties.
If we fear that at some point during the date we might run out of topics to talk about, then we look for a way to prevent that from happening.
4. Have confidence in yourself
Preparation helps a lot to keep nerves at bay during the first date, but beyond having previously prepared for the meeting we must be able to have confidence in ourselves in our strengths and virtues.
It won’t matter too much if something gets out of control during the date, or if there is a sudden change of plans that you haven’t taken into consideration. If you are a confident person you will be able to face this scenario without problems. Keep in mind that the other person agreed to go out with you because they like you.
5. Avoid unrealizable expectations
A common way to self-sabotage a first date is to create a series of expectations in our minds that are too difficult to meet. By doing this we are signing a judgment of early failure. We must avoid imagining overly elaborate scenarios it is better to take things calmly.
6. Choose a place that gives you comfort
If it is within your reach, choose a place where you can feel comfortable, so that the tranquility that that place generates can be reflected in your attitude towards the other person. It can be a place you’ve been to before and consider suitable for a first date.
7. Choose a fun activity
Having chosen the right place, it remains to see what alternatives there are to do in that place. It’s always a good idea to choose something that is fun for both of you Don’t think only of yourself when making decisions, remember that the other person may have different tastes. The best thing to do is to make the decision together, ask him what he likes to do. Of course, don’t try to satisfy only her tastes or interests or you may feel out of place. The best thing is to think about what you have in common or can have in common. That way, fun will quickly lead you to lose your nerve and focus on the here and now.
Choosing the wardrobe is important; Sometimes it happens that we do not give the necessary importance to this aspect and then we feel uncomfortable when we are on our date. The best thing will be to take the necessary precautions and carefully evaluate which is the best choice depending on the place where we will go.
Remember that The most important thing is to wear something that we feel comfortable with and that we associate with our way of being and behaving ; Wearing something out of pure social pressure or to try to fit in with what we believe the other person expects of us is not recommended if what you want is to prevent anxiety problems on a date.
