How Do You Know When to End a Relationship?

All relationships have ups and downs, which is healthy and normal. However, sometimes, after a tense situation or an argument, we have doubts about whether this relationship has a future or not.

The problem is that it is not so easy to know if our partner or marriage is in such a bad situation that the best thing would be to end it once and for all.

For this reason Many people wonder how to know when to end a relationship since deciding to end it for something that, in reality, is not that serious, can be a big mistake, while not deciding to end it when you are in a relationship that simply does not offer us anything, is not a plan either.

In this article we are going to see clues that indicate that, perhaps, our relationship has already reached a point where it is necessary to end it

How do you know when to end a relationship?

Ending a relationship is a very serious thing. We cannot take it lightly, nor expect that, if we have made a mistake when breaking up, in the future the relationship will be reestablished as if nothing had happened. It is because of that It becomes necessary to reflect in depth on the state of the relationship, if it is really necessary to cut off or if there is an alternative that benefits both.

Next, we will look at questions we should ask ourselves and clues we can see that tell us that the time has come to end the relationship.

1. Is this the relationship I want?

Although life is not always rosy, we must be clear that dating someone must offer us some kind of emotional benefit When we go out with someone we should do it because we want to, because we like being with him or her.

If we want something else, if we want the relationship to take another course, or we simply don’t feel comfortable, that could tell us that we are not dating the right person.

Continuing with a dead relationship is something that will not help either of you We must stop thoughts like “if I let her she will suffer” or “she is having a very bad time and I don’t want to drag her down any further.” Continuing with this will make you feel even more uncomfortable. It’s time to take action and get it over with.

2. What do I gain and what do I lose by continuing or breaking up?

Many times, even though we are clear that the relationship is dying, we insist on trying to keep it alive, like someone who continues watering plants that are more than dry. The plants are dead, as is the relationship.

Breaking up with a person is not a happy thing. It is a sad event for both of us, but necessary if, by continuing with the relationship, we lose our freedom and emotional well-being. The fear of what we may lose is an emotion that paralyzes us, but If we think carefully about what we gain if we end the relationship, it may motivate us to take the first step

3. Can the relationship be saved?

You should not break off the relationship without first thinking deeply about whether you still have some kind of solution. There may be communication problems or misunderstandings that have been growing like a snowball and now we are facing a glacier.

But the snow and ice melt. Talking about the problems, what was not understood or what was misinterpreted can begin the couple’s recovery process. However, if the other person doesn’t want to and there is no way to deal with it, A good option is to go to couples therapy so that the professional can offer you guidelines and strategies to solve your relationship.

If none of this works, or the other simply does not want to talk about the problem, it will be best for both of us, especially for you, to end the relationship.

4. Is there something I can’t accept from my partner?

No one is perfect, and we can all change, for better or worse. There are many things about our partner that we don’t have to like, and we would like him to make the effort to be a better person.

However, If we are all the time thinking about what she or he should change for us, it can tell us that we don’t like the person we are being intimate with. It may also be that she or he wants us to change.

Trying to make our partner someone better, or trying to change us, is something healthy, as long as it is not done with emotional blackmail or trying to change something that is part of their or our personality.

If we love that person, or they love us, it is very healthy to accept their strengths and defects as long as the latter do not harm the health of both.

5. You are embarrassed to date

This indicator is very clear. If when you meet with your friends you are very embarrassed that they meet your partner, or you simply don’t feel any interest or joy in knowing them, this means that you don’t feel comfortable going out with that person, as long as there is no pressure against this relationship being maintained (for example, in religious fundamentalist families).

As a general rule, everyone is excited that their best friends meet the person with whom they have been intimate in recent months. everyone wants Find out what your friends think about your new partner, and how they see you dating

Certainly, there are people who are more shy than others, and our partner may not see them as being very in tune with what our friends are like, but from there to not wanting to introduce them out of embarrassment there is a big difference.

If we go out with someone we like, we should not leave them hidden from our family circle or friends like someone who buys a piece of clothing and keeps it in the closet because they consider that it is not the season for that.

6. You feel that it is your partner who is ashamed of you

The exact opposite of the previous case can happen: it is your partner who does not want to introduce you to his friends or family. While it is true that he may think that you will not feel comfortable with his friends, another reason is that who considers you a person who should not be presented in society either because he doesn’t see you as a serious relationship or because he is ashamed of you.

Each person has their own value, and the last thing you should allow is for a person you are supposed to be dating to feel like they shouldn’t be introduced to others.

If he or she believes that you should not meet his or her friends, that can be understood as not wanting you to be part of his or her world. It is a very clear clue that it is best to get out of his life, given that He has given us signs that he does not want us to be in his world

7. You are in a manipulative relationship

If there is manipulation, run away. Manipulation, emotional blackmail, control… all these actions are not healthy at all. They are not appropriate dynamics to live happily as a couple

It is not easy to end this type of relationship, and you should never trust that with the two of you alone it can be easily broken. It is highly advisable to rely on a friend to be present, or do it remotely if you think there may be a violent reaction.

8. There is no respect

It is normal for a couple to have some criticism, but there should never be humiliation or abusive criticism.

If your partner tells you something that you don’t want to hear, but he does it with the intention of making you better as a person and he says it out of respect, that’s okay. On the other hand, if he uses sarcastic and acid comments, or simply treats you like trash, It is clear that the relationship is not going well and that your mental health is at risk

9. Only you look for moments of intimacy

Intimacy, expressed in bed or on the couch with caresses, kisses, cuddles and, of course, sex, is one of the pillars of every relationship. Sometimes it happens that she or he does not want to, something that must be respected because this is a matter of two, you should not force someone to do what they do not want.

However, it may be that you are the only one who proposes moments of intimacy, while your partner always rejects them, making excuses that you don’t believe.

You should not be afraid to talk about it, and ask what is happening to you, if everything is going well or if you feel uncomfortable with something. If there is a problem, you have to deal with it, and if you don’t want to, perhaps this relationship is doomed to failure.

10. They pressure you to have intimate moments

On the other hand, it may be that you are the one who doesn’t feel like it, although not necessarily always. There are times we want sex and other times we don’t, and No one should force us when we don’t want it

If they try to force us, be it a man or a woman, they are committing a serious violation of our sexual freedom, no matter how non-violent it may seem. No is no, even within the couple.

11. Your acquaintances have warned you to date someone else

Although you should not end a relationship because others do not like it, the fact that our family, friends and even some other not-so-close acquaintances have warned us that our relationship does not seem good is an indicator to take into account. account.

If you have specific reasons or have seen something that seems like enough reason to leave the relationship, We must try to see if this is really the case, or if they are right and have our good in mind

12. You don’t see a future

If you are a teenager and you are dating someone, it is clear that talking about a future together is a bit hasty. At these ages, talking about getting married, having children and looking for a house are too adult thoughts.

However, if you are an adult and have had a partner for several years, it is inevitable that these thoughts will come to your mind and, sooner or later, they will be discussed. It’s not that all couples should get married and have children, but certainly a future together is something that should have been considered because if not, what’s the point of continuing the relationship if you don’t think it will last?

13. There are serious problems

Your partner abuses you physically or verbally, he has cheated on you or you have cheated on him, he gives you ultimatums that are not fulfilled, he exploits you financially, he separates you from your friends or family…

All of these problems are serious and are a very clear sign that this relationship is dangerous In these cases, you should talk to a lawyer, the police, a therapist and family members so that they are up to date with the situation and prevent, by all possible means, something even worse from happening.

14. Too many ups and downs

As we were already saying, it is normal for there to be ups and downs in relationships. There are moments of great happiness and others in which there is tension, but they end up being resolved.

The problem is when the relationship is good and bad every day, that is, there are too many moments of tension that are then apparently calmed by a lot of joy Something doesn’t work.

A relationship should be a source of security and well-being, not a continuous feeling of instability. Why do we want to have a boyfriend or girlfriend if it doesn’t give us calm or tranquility?

15. You have separated

Many people, when they start a relationship, feel deep love and are unable to spend time away from each other. This ends up, with the passage of time, being less intense, but there is still a lot of love and desire to spend time together.

However, Sometimes it happens that two lovers begin to distance themselves without realizing it, spending time together very occasionally, despite being a couple. This is an indicator that the relationship is cooling.

If the only thing you have in common is that you share a story, instead of spending time together or making an effort to dedicate an hour a day to each other, something is wrong.

It may be the case that the relationship has evolved from a loving one to one of friendship with benefits and, while that is not a bad thing, it does indicate that love is a little dead. You should talk and see if it enhances affection or becomes just friends.