We can visualize the attitude of a selfish adult with the following example. A woman expresses: “Why don’t you fulfill your share of responsibility, why can’t you put yourself in my place or in any case have a little empathy and take into account how tired I am from spending all day with the children, now?” while taking care of all the responsibilities of my own work and that of the home. But no, he says that what I do is the minimum I should do and that since he works, when he gets home, it’s his time to rest, and he won’t be listening to me or helping me with anything.” Like this every day the same routine with him. On top of that, we don’t go out for a walk with the children either, because he wants to go home to his family. He is incapable of feeling love, empathy, and even compassion for me, who is his wife.”
These cases are not rare, I can assure you that they are very frequent. But, how can a person reach a certain level of selfishness that is a clear expression of very low empathy
How has today’s adult learned to be selfish? What was his upbringing?
In it desire to raise happy children It is possible to make mistakes that in the long run work against us or cause attitudes that do not turn out to be as good as we thought.
The attitudes and behaviors of this type of parenting that in the long run foster selfish children, and therefore adults, are:
1. Exaggerated attention to the child
When parents lend a exaggerated attention in children, and they please them in everything, they turn them into demanding children who want to get what they want. The paradox is that when they get it, it is never enough for them. Hence, they once again demand extreme attention, forming a cycle of attention/demand/disagreement.
2. The child learns selfish attitudes by imitating his parents.
For example, these children do not lend their things, they do not share them with each other. They also do not allow siblings to share their toys and claim that each one has his own and should not touch the other’s. The parents themselves treat each other selfishly, one tells the other that generally he will not go shopping with him, that he doesn’t like shopping, or the famous expression with an advantageous intention: “For me”, “You don’t want ice cream, well for me”
3. Consent exaggeratedly, or too much.
Mothers give continuous attention to children even when they do not require it, bordering on the unhealthy, and when they stop having it, children are born with selfish attitude For example; We can observe mothers who are affectionate with other children who are not their children, and their children come to them angry to be cared for.
For example: “Don’t make him cry”, “May the child not suffer anything”. We hear expressions like these very often from mothers who unconsciously encourage the raising of selfish children Therefore, they tend to want everything immediately, are incapable of waiting and do not tolerate situations that involve patience.
Hence, when they are adults they are incapable of tolerating no for an answer in the workplace, as a couple, in the social sphere. The infinite love of parents for their children can lead to making mistakes in raising children which will then have their consequences in the future. For this reason, it is necessary to be observant and attentive to how children are raised so that the moment they suspect that something is not right, balance can be found in their children’s behavior through behavioral change.
