We all know someone who has fallen obsessively in love at some point and without control. In fact, for many people, love is not conceived if it is not that way. This interpersonal fusion taken to the limit, this feeling that you cannot live without the other, magnify them, idealize them, does not usually lead to a successful outcome if it is not stopped in time.
In fact, this uncontrolled and limitless love alienates those who suffer from it, who stops feeling like a complete and independent person and comes to believe that there is no life if it is not with the other, as happened to Anna Karenina. In this article we will talk about a concept that we could call Anna Karenina syndrome
Anna Karenina is a fictional character who stars in the literary work of the same name, written by Lev Tolstoy in 1877. This classic of universal literature reflects the tragic circumstances into which love that is too intense and passionate can lead
The protagonist, who is married in the novel, falls madly in love with another man, a soldier named Vronsky, and ends up leaving everything for him. And everything is everything, her husband, her social position, her son, and finally her life.
Anna Karenina Syndrome is related to an obsessive affective pattern characterized by absolute dependence of the beloved figure. This considerably affects the rest of the person’s life areas, which lose importance and are overshadowed by THE OTHER with capital letters, which ends up encompassing everything.
Whoever suffers from this syndrome, like the protagonist, is capable of anything to be next to the person they love.
We have countless examples in the cinema of this type of passionate lack of control as is the case of Disney’s Little Mermaid, who loses her status as a mermaid, abandons her family, her environment, and even gives her voice in order to be next to her idealized loved one.
Is it therefore harmful to love intensely?
Contrary to what Hollywood and Top 40 hits sell us, loving obsessively is without a doubt the worst way to love. Despite At first, this emotional flood may seem attractive it can end up becoming one of the worst diseases that humans can experience.
This way of loving is linked to anguish: anguish when thinking that the loved one may stop loving us, anguish at not always having him or her by our side, anguish due to the fear of being deceived. Therefore, the “without you I am nothing” and the “I can’t live without you” They are examples not to follow when assuming a role in the relationship
What consequences does this affective phenomenon have?
There are many consequences of loving so intensely, from losing one’s life direction, plummeting self-esteem, loss of one’s own integrity and emotional balance.. Until other types of more dire consequences, like those carried out by Anna in the book.
Don’t love me so much, love me better
It is recommended, therefore, not to focus on the quantity of love that is given or received, but on its quality. There are a series of aspects that we can work on to avoid falling into this syndrome:
