Why Does Insecurity Arise And How Can You Overcome It?
Do you feel inferior to others? Do you think you are not capable of achieving your goals? Insecurity is one of the reasons why you cannot move forward in your life. Find out what it consists of.
The people that experience insecurity They frequently suffer many problems that are imperceptible to others. Furthermore, low self-confidence affects more than one area in our lives. That is why when someone normalizes these types of feelings in their daily lives it can cause a great negative impact on their mentality. Self-doubt can be linked to diseases such as anxiety, paranoia, narcissism and even create people who are dependent on others.
When we refer to the emotional insecurity We are pointing to the feeling of inadequacy that arises from a lack of self-confidence or an inability to cope with any situation. These sensations are normally accompanied by general uncertainty as well as anxiety about goals, our abilities, or relationships with others.
In this way, insecurities are often accompanied by negative thoughts about a person’s own capabilities. That is why these types of self-perceptions end up being accompanied by anxiety. These feelings of personal insecurity end up engulfing all aspects of a person’s life. So much so that those who are insecure end up having much more difficulty facing the challenges that arise day after day.
Effects of insecurity
The personal and emotional insecurity It affects not only establishing healthy relationships, but also ends up making things difficult in areas such as work or school. In this way, an individual who has insecurities may have poor results in school or in their professional life because of it. This is why insecurity is linked to a negative mood, hypertension and other somatic symptoms.
The difficulties in relationships It can lead to a distancing from people in general. So much so that this isolation can also lead to problems such as depression, social anxiety and even dementia.
There are many situations that shape the critical inner voice that we all carry inside. This voice is driven by negative attitudes directed toward ourselves down to the way our parents treated themselves. The most common thoughts experienced through their dialogues are:
You’re stupid.
You are not attractive.
You never get anything right.
You are not like other people.
You are a failure.
You are fat.
You are a loser.
You will never make friends.
No one will ever love you.
You will never be able to stop drinking (smoking, etc.).
You will never achieve anything.
The critical inner voice acts as a kind of bad coach: it tends to hold us back as we get closer and closer to our goals. So much so that many who experience insecurities They react before they realize they are having these types of thoughts. The two areas where these feelings are most worrying are at work and in personal relationships.
The unsafety It is a deeply personal experience, which is why there are as many types of insecurities as there are people. Insecurities can arise from different sources and spread to multiple areas of our lives or even limit it completely. Still, there are some types of personal insecurities that are more common than others:
Insecurity in interpersonal relationships: This kind of insecurities They usually come from the fear that others will judge us or disappoint us. People who feel this insecurity usually act by maintaining a certain distance from others. When a person suffers from this type of insecurity, they are usually not willing to show their vulnerabilities or fully trust others. Normally, when someone has this type of behavior, they usually experience difficulties expressing their emotions as well as have a certain fear of intimacy with others.
Social insecurity: People who suffer from these types of insecurities have no problems relating to their trusted circles, but they usually avoid social contexts. That is, they feel deeply uncomfortable both in large groups or when they have to interact with a stranger. The social insecurity It is often due to a lack of confidence in our abilities to function adequately in certain social environments. As a result of these feelings, people end up limiting their social life and missing out on opportunities to avoid exposing themselves publicly.
Physical insecurities: Physical appearance is part of our business card. In fact, our body and face add or subtract points from the first impression we make on others. These types of physical insecurities They are fostered when people feel uncomfortable with their body image, which can end up causing great insecurity spread in practically all spheres of their life.
Professional insecurity: In some cases, the unsafety It focuses on our workplace. Since we spend a large part of our day working, when a person suffers from these types of insecurities he/she may be affected in other aspects of life. Deep down, these insecurities involve questioning our intelligence and capabilities, as well as a hidden fear of criticism and disapproval from those people we perceive as intelligent or capable.
personal insecurity: Among all the types of insecurities that we have highlighted, this is the one that affects the most on a personal, professional and relational level. These insecurities involve a fear of what others think of us, of not being enough and of disappointing other people’s expectations.
These are some of the main insecurities that we can experience. If you feel identified with any of them, it is important to go to a professional psychologist as soon as possible.
Insecurity at work
Each person experiences that their inner critic is more specialized in one area or another. That is, you can feel insecure at work but not with your partner, and vice versa. If we are insecure in our professional field, a common attitude is self-sabotage towards yourself. This happens because you have old thoughts that indicate (wrongly) that you are incompetent or that you do not deserve this recognition. Some internal dialogues in professional insecurity include these types of phrases:
Who do you think you are? You will never succeed.
You are under too much pressure. You can’t accept it.
Everything will never end. You are so lazy.
I should postpone this until tomorrow.
Nobody appreciates you.
Nobody likes you here.
Put your career first. Don’t take time for yourself.
The insecurity in the couple She is one of the most experienced. To know how to overcome the insecurity of this style, we must take into account why these types of thoughts are formed. One of the most common causes is the experience of a bad relationship in the past. These memories can awaken certain insecurities in us that we have buried over time. Listening to our critical inner voice in these cases can both make us fear commitment and encourage feelings of jealousy or possessiveness. Many of these voices look like the following:
You will never find another person who understands you.
Don’t get too attached to it.
He doesn’t really care about you.
She’s too good for you.
It’s better to be alone.
As soon as he meets you, he will reject you.
You have to be in control.
It’s your fault if he gets angry.
Don’t be too vulnerable or you will end up hurt.
Causes of insecurity
To know how to overcome insecurity, the first step is to investigate where it comes from. There are many factors that can trigger insecurity: traumatic events, a bad environment, among others. In addition, many people who suffer from emotional insecurity also tend to experience low self-esteem, problems with their own image, lack direction in life and even feel ignored by others.
Insecure attachment: One of the points that can determine the presence of insecurity In a person it is precisely the way in which the attachment bond has taken place. This is characterized by being the first love relationship that a child experiences at birth, therefore the parents are the two protagonists. A secure person usually has experienced a good attachment bond, while insecure ones are the result of the parents not having responded to the baby’s needs in an adequate way. A child may develop insecurity because of abuse or because of isolation or loneliness. One of the main characteristics of people who suffer from this condition is insecurity in the couple or in any of your intimate relationships. Studies suggest that people who have suffered from insecure attachment tend to interpret their partners’ behavior in a more negative way. Through this tendency, these individuals can react in a much more defensive way towards their partner.
Critical inner voice: For overcome insecurity We should also know that these feelings are accompanied by an internal dialogue called the ‘critical inner voice’. This is formed from the painful experiences of the first years of life and as we grow we integrate them into our unconscious. By doing so, we create a pattern of negative thoughts toward ourselves and others. It is for this reason that it is essential for parents to have a good attitude towards themselves and their children. They should see them realistically and treat them with acceptance and compassion. The best way to get children to develop a good security and self-esteem is to support them to find something that is unique to them.
Low self-esteem: Low self-esteem and lack of self-confidence is the main cause of insecurity in all fields. These types of insecurities are linked to the type of education a person has received. So much so that people who experience this emotional insecurity have been constantly harassed by negative phrases from others or by a lack of adequate affection growing up. People who have low self-esteem are constantly questioning themselves. In this way they tend to doubt their own emotions, thoughts and behaviors. When you have this internal dialogue These doubts end up projecting onto different aspects of life, causing completely irrational concerns to arise.
Negative past experiences: It is completely normal to walk away from certain relationships where a bad experience has happened. As we let go of these people, we would also have to eliminate the negative memories that are related to them. Even so, there are many people who end up holding on to each of the negative emotions they have felt during these relationships. That is why these end up becoming insecurities in our partner or in our work.
Fulfillment in our personal life: When we do not achieve our goals or feel that we are not going towards the path we want, this can develop a kind of unsafety towards ourselves. In this way, many people end up focusing on a single area of ​​their life due to these insecurities and leaving aside all other aspects.
Although it is normal feel insecure Sometimes in our lives, the reality is that having these feelings normalized in all aspects can end up taking a toll on us. In this way, many patients end up developing other diseases such as the following:
These illnesses are characterized by deeply rooted feelings in the anxiety and insecurity, although at first glance it may not seem like it. A good example of this is people who suffer from narcissism, since although their achievements and arrogance do not stop shining, they are deeply linked to insecurity.
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The information published by MundoPsicologos does not replace in any case the relationship between the patient and his psychologist. MundoPsicologos does not endorse any specific treatment, commercial product or service.
