People Who Don’t Know How To Be Single: 5 Reasons Why They Are Always Looking For A Partner
How many mistakes we would avoid in relationships if we knew how to differentiate between love and the fear of being alone! And while it is true that falling in love has a very powerful emotional impact, the effects of the need to be in a relationship can be longer lasting. In some cases, it can even be a source of anguish that lasts for decades or practically a lifetime if something is not done about it.
¿Why is it that some people don’t know how to be single? and are they constantly looking for a relationship? What can be done to get out of this situation? Let’s see it.
People who don’t know how to be single: why do they do it?
There are different reasons that lead people to not know how to live singleness naturally or without causing harm to other people. These are several of them.
1. The myth of the better half
Romantic love is based on a series of distorted ideas about what emotional relationships are and should be like, and one of these misguided beliefs has to do with the myth of the better half.
According to this conception of love, we are incomplete people until the moment we find someone who complements us. Hence, being single is seen as a waste of time and resources, the confirmation of a failure, since it is a stage in which for some reason we are failing when it comes to find the partner who will complete us and make us happy
From this mental scheme, furthermore, it is very easy to think in terms of “either black or white” and attribute all the evils that happen to us to the fact of not having a partner. If happiness does not appear while in a relationship, this is interpreted as a sign that one is not happy with that person, which leads to the breakup and the immediate search for another relationship.
2. The need to go through “serial monogamy” to avoid feeling bad
Although it may seem unbelievable, today sexuality outside of marriage is still highly stigmatized even in the most advanced and democratic countries. The fear of being frowned upon by others makes some people talk about love when they really mean sex, so being single is associated with having a zero sex life.
People who don’t know how to be single for this reason, well, actually they do not have the means to live their sexuality fully and honestly and although this may lead them to give false hope to other people, they experience repression that also causes them discomfort.
3. They are victims of the rebound effect in love
There is a type of relationship that is known as rebound relationships, and that is characterized by actually being an emotional cover to cover the void left by an ex. In other words, there are people who don’t know how to be alone because they try to find a way to experience again what they felt when being with a certain person.
In these cases, new relationships that begin usually last little because of the problems that arise in them; Ultimately, another person is being used as a “support for the imagination” in an experience that has more to do with simulating an experience than with living the real affection that someone is expressing.
4. Social pressure and the search for reputation
We must not forget that the reason why a person does not get along well with being single does not have to be fundamentally in themselves; The social context influences a lot.
Currently, especially in social circles in which very young people (adolescents and post-adolescents) predominate, Not having a partner for a long time can be a source of ridicule Something that, regardless of whether we care or not what people think of us, has consequences for the life of those who are in this danger: receiving worse treatment, having less social support, etc. However, the opposite can also happen, seeking fame by showing off the number of lovers one has (something more typical of men, since women can be stigmatized for this).
As a reaction to the possibility of being alone both in love and in practically any social field, many young people set out to find a partner without paying much attention to whether they really feel something intense for him or her lover.
5. The search for power
We must not forget that some people only seek to have relationships as a pretext to be in a situation where they can easily dominate someone, manipulating him and providing privacy. To do this, they look for people who are inclined to allow themselves to be dominated if certain conditions are met and begin a relationship based on manipulation and psychological or physical abuse.
In most cases, people who don’t know how to be single are able to bring some order to their lives and are not constantly obsessed with that problem. However, there are very extreme cases in which the fear of being single becomes a form of phobia. This phenomenon is known as anuptophobia.
In these cases, the person feels a sense of loss of control that leads to moments of crisis caused by the recurring thought of not having a partner or to have a partner. It is necessary to go through a therapeutic program that allows you to return to normal, making these types of fears and recurring thoughts appear less and less frequently.
