The fundamental pillar to build and maintain a good relationship is empathic communication accompanied by factors such as trust, compatibility of values and rules, and an open mind that allows respect, harmony and mutual consideration to reign.
Now, to have a good relationship and be happy, you have to break old paradigms and repetitive and subjectively programmed patterns of thought and behavior.
Building lasting relationships
You cannot have a stable and lasting relationship if you are not willing to pay the price of change and not wanting to pay that price or accept relatively human errors, it is very common to hear comments from the spouse: “the one who has to change is you, the one who has to seek help is you, the one who It’s wrong, it’s you”… Wrong and failed comment.
By uniting their lives in an act of ceremony and carnal intimacy, their souls and spirits also unite, forming a single unit. If the two people are in harmony and coordinate, an intrapsychic connection that generates happiness is created.
This way, The most desired and inherent thing of the human being is love, especially self-love and consent. Consequently, according to a study, the happiest and most lasting couples are those who have the ability to forgive, accept and let go, remaining free to give and receive love, regardless of certain mistakes of the spouse; With this I do not want to allude to the erroneous and well-known saying of my country “even if he hits and even if he kills, he is a husband” and vice versa. The union as a couple or marriage should be a reason for joy; If not, something is wrong
The importance of knowing how to detect problems
You have to know how to recognize if the relationship has a future or is a toxic relationship destined to fail. Having a partner is accepting the commitment, without the willingness of both parties the love pact will be null
The most common cause of fights, family and relationship conflicts are maladaptive thoughts (reaching biased conclusions from premises), lack of commitment, excuses and little or no willingness to keep promises after asking for forgiveness and saying that everything is going to be different (if the promised change lasts a few days and then the same behavioral pattern is repeated, that is a symptom of living a Russian roulette of emotions that generate instability, pain and physical symptoms).
He recognize these repetitive patterns of behavior in time and seek help They will allow you to fully enjoy your relationship, because you came to this world to enjoy life and be happy, but not to become bitter and have a bad time; Otherwise you will feel that living is torture, you will feel like a prisoner without energy and sometimes without the desire to live.
The most powerful and positive emotional experiences that generate connection with a sense of harmony and happiness are love, the experimentation of sex and desire. If these three come together in your relationship, there will be no breakups; we must find an integration of these three so that there is harmony in your relationship
Managing emotions (in both senses)
It is not easy to have a relationship, even more so to maintain a marriage: fights, arguments, anger will arise… And you will love each other madly and passionately. Because it is human nature to feel a variety of emotions; The bad thing is allowing negative emotions to dominate you and control your life. If this happens, the relationship will be chaos and you will assume that it is her or his fault.
Remember that the other person only reacts to the stimulus they perceive from you; Be an inducer of positive emotional states, peace, tranquility and harmony. We only achieve this by first working on the psychological aspects of the relationship; Remember that you only give what you have, focus on carrying out a deep introspective exploration of yourself, recognize who you are and what you can contribute to your partner to improve their life.
What to avoid?
Jealousy is not a lack of trust in the other person, but lack of self-confidence because perhaps you think that you are not enough for him/her. That’s why you worry that he might meet someone better than you and leave you.
If you want a long-lasting relationship, never use victimization and manipulation, because they are powerful weapons that cause pain and attachment, generating feelings of dissatisfaction and unhappiness. You don’t want your partner to be unhappy, right?
The most effective way to neutralize this feeling of jealousy is to work on your self-concept, on feeling like you are the best for your partner and demonstrate it with acts of self-love towards yourself, taking care of your physical, spiritual and intellectual appearance; When the other person perceives that you love yourself, you take care of yourself and you seek to progress, he will see in you someone of high value, and the human being loves to share his life with people of high value. Be an inducer of positive emotional states!
Having a relationship is the most wonderful and divine thing that can exist when you seek to complement and not fill a void.