We are as many different people as there are in the world. It is true that it is possible that we have many common personality characteristics that make us more similar to some than others and that thanks to that we can find affinity in a friendship, partner or work relationship, for example.
But there are also people who, even though they resemble others, prefer to be alone, being solitary people. If this is your case and you consider yourself such a person, you should know that there are four different types. Want know if you are a lonely person ? Pay attention to this PsychologyFor article!
The conformist
A conformist lonely person It is one who lives alone, who accepts her loneliness and, in this way, feels comfortable and well.
However, he is someone who thinks that perhaps Your happiness would increase if you shared your life with another person, had a stable partner or was surrounded by more friends, yet he makes no effort to change his current situation and ends up accepting his loneliness and living this way. Everything that happens around him seems good to him and he pretends to adapt even if he doesn’t completely agree with it.
This type of lonely person is not advisable for anyone, since maintaining a conformist attitude in life, especially if there are aspects of it that do not make you completely happy and that you would like to change, since you will not be able to evolve or grow in any area. of the life.
The lonely escapist
This lonely type of person He does not have enough courage to analyze himself and recognize that not only does he feel alone, but he is also lonely.
He tends to hide his solitary life by leading a very hectic but, above all, artificial social life, that is, it does not correspond at all to reality. Escapist loners are people who they flee from their authentic reality, ignoring it or, simply, denying it, and this is the result of the fact that they feel that they do not have the necessary strength to face this situation.
The martyr
He lonely martyr is that person who suffers from loneliness and really, continually, he regrets it She revels in her misfortune until she manages, on her own, to sink. She continuously transmits and expresses her “misfortunes” and emptiness in order to attract the attention of others and get them to approach him.
However, such a pessimistic and negative attitude can sometimes have the opposite effect on those people around you or who cross your path; and instead of mercy and achieving rapprochement, it can cause them to distance themselves from it due to the great pessimism it projects. Therefore, it is very likely that this type of lonely person cannot overcome their situation or does not know how to do it on their own.
The proactive loner
The proactive lonely person he is able to face difficulties of life directly and frontally. He does not try to deceive himself and makes decisions with information and his own personality. He enjoys situations and makes the best of everything and if he doesn’t like something, he simply looks for a way to change it to be better.
He has no problem interacting with other people and even feels happy interacting with others, something he has always done throughout his life. However, loneliness does not worry him, it does not make him afraid and he does not have problems meeting new people, making friends, or looking for a partner. However, although he has the ability to enjoy his social life, he feels that His moments of solitude are those that generate the greatest pleasure He likes to spend time with himself, discover himself, face different situations and changes firsthand and he doesn’t need anyone to enjoy great experiences.
Common characteristics of lonely people
On the other hand, it is important to note that there is an important difference between being alone and being a lonely person. The latter is that person who prefers to be alone rather than accompanied, but does not feel alone but rather feels good spending time with himself. What’s more, he finds his greatest happiness in his moments of solitude, it is when he feels best and he is quite selective when choosing his friends, he feels good in a small social circle. This type of person is the one who would correspond to the “proactive loner” that we have explained in the previous section.
Let’s see below some of the main features that can help answer the question of “how to know if I am a lonely person”:
- Their ideas are very clear and have firm limits By understanding themselves very well, lonely people have very clear ideas, they know what they want and they have very marked and defined values. They are very respectful of their limits, but also of those of others and if they believe that someone is about to exceed them, they will let you know without problem.
- Are mentally strong in complicated situations. Being continually in a period of self-reflection makes them stronger when faced with difficult situations and has less difficulty managing their emotions and finding a solution to the problem.
- They have one open mind , and the fact that they prefer to be alone does not mean that they are completely closed or single-minded people. They usually have a good disposition to know and listen to new ideas and carry out new activities. They have no problem trying new things or having other experiences, although they will make sure that they have already enjoyed their time alone before.
- Are loyal and even though they don’t usually have many friends, when they find a person who is really worthwhile and identifies with their values, they are very loyal friends who you can always count on.
- They value your time very much and this is perhaps their most precious asset, so they tend to be very strict with their time management and also greatly respect other people’s time.
- They have a great knowledge of themselves which means that, later on, they can also understand other people better.
This article is merely informative, at PsychologyFor we do not have the power to make a diagnosis or recommend a treatment. We invite you to go to a psychologist to treat your particular case.
If you want to read more articles similar to Are you a lonely person? we recommend that you enter our Personality category.