There is Always a Broken Stitching

I like to title today this popular saying that my grandmother always repeated to me when I told her that I would never find a partner who was right for me.

I like to use today as a title this popular saying that my grandmother always repeated to me when I told her that I would never find a partner that was suitable for me, and luckily not all of us are interested in the same partner, not even the same sex, And no matter what advertisements or fashion say, beauty standards are always subjective and what is good for you could be the worst for you. world for another

Because choose that special person which can largely depend on whether your life is happy or not, is part of the work of finding your ideal partner, but it has not ended here but has just begun.

How do you know if someone is the right person to start a relationship with?

Nobody is infallible and although there are those who are lucky enough to find their better half the first time (it certainly has not been my case), the most normal thing is that this ends up happening after a trial-and-error learning process, in which different people They have passed through our lives and we finally learn to have a relationship. Because as a popular saying goes, “the wolf and the sheep will never make a couple,” although sometimes we see couples who come to consultation for marital problems who have precisely tried that, and who logically have reached a point where they have had to assume that Choosing was not the end of the process and that there is something to solve before the unsinkable ship that they believed was their relationship sinks beyond repair like the Titanic. Some come on time and others when it is too late because they have allowed the relationship to deteriorate beyond what is reasonable and what is acceptable as a couple. But the important thing is not to have to come to it and to do this we are going to give some tips that will be very useful to avoid these future problems

1. Know if there is a common path

First of all, when we find that person who seems, and I insist on what seems, to be the right one for us, the first thing we have to do is try to get to know him or her as best as possible, seeing not only what is apparent, but wanting to know beyond what the person is showing us. Obviously many of the readers pay attention to the clothing or the physique or even their hairstyle, and this is not something negative, because ultimately this external appearance is a reflection of that interior that we want to know and it is also giving us information about what it is like. person. And also his language, his way of speaking, his gestures or his look give us important data but we still have to go beyond that

I often tell couples that one important thing they have to do is during the first weeks to know whether or not the other wants children, if they want to buy an apartment or prefer to rent, or even what activities or music they like the most. Many couples, upon hearing this advice, look at me astonished as if they were hearing the greatest nonsense in the world, without realizing that something important in a couple is to have a common path and therefore common life expectations, which obviously can change later. But imagine this situation: The rock lover and concert follower, lover of climbing, lover of freedom and with no intention of having children. She has musical tastes in the world of flamenco, a compulsive reader and lover of being in her little house, and with the intention of starting a large family. Certain failure, it is not the torn one for the unstitching that we need.

2. Accept your imperfections

Secondly we have to accept that that person may or may not be perfect If it is perfect, two things can happen: either we have a lot of imagination and our partner exists in our head or we are simply idealizing the person to an extreme degree. No, and absolutely no, the perfect person does not exist, we all have flaws, neither better nor worse, but we do have them and we have to accept living with them because above all, keep in mind that we cannot and should not change the person who is with us.

3. Respect your way of being

And thirdly we have to respect our partner, who is someone who is by our side, who is someone unique, and who has his own scheme of life If we learn from their way of seeing life, whether we share it or not, we are greatly enriched by it because it gives us very different points of view from our own. Remember that a couple is never a rival and that we play on the same team and therefore we do not have to compete but rather collaborate. Easy? Obviously not. It requires a constant effort to maintain the magic of the first day, because finally a couple sustains themselves in a daily work of adding granite by granite to make the building grow and hold it firm. And when things go wrong, the psychologist-trowel is there to help you straighten the construction and solve the cracks.