How To Forget Someone? Psychological Tips To Escape Unscathed
Do you think you’ll never know how to forget someone? Do you think it’s impossible? Psychology can help you leave that person behind and benefit from the experience.
Both on television and in series, the idea has spread that for forget someone You should immediately go out with another person or, failing that, drink until you forget about him or her. But even though in fiction this gives good results, the reality is that in many cases this is just a patch that also makes you feel even worse as time goes by.
As you can imagine, forgetting a person who has been important to you at some point is a long and difficult process. The first step in moving away from someone you like or getting over someone is to not make the mistake of immediately filling the romantic void in your life with someone else. The best way to power pass on someone Whether in your mind or in reality, it is taking care of yourself inside and out and exploring other routines with which to leave these thoughts behind.
Why do we find it difficult to forget someone we liked?
As you well know, there is a popular belief that you can never forget first love In reality, this expression is not so much about it being the first relationship but rather the intensity with which a relationship is felt.
When we want to forget a person, the difficult thing is to literally disengage from the romance you have felt towards her. Love is not only the thoughts that come to mind about the lover (or ideal) in question. In reality, there are a series of physiological changes that occur within the brain, which is what really makes it more difficult for us to learn to forget.
How long does it take to forget someone?
There are various physiological changes that make forget a person be a more than tedious task. The reason is that love often produces a reaction similar to what we would feel with any drug.
Changes in dopamine: According to some research, when we develop romantic feelings towards a new person, a spike of dopamine occurs in the brain. So much so that falling in love works in almost the same way as becoming addicted to a drug.
Effects on the amygdala: The amygdala is the part of the brain that puts you on high alert whenever you might feel in danger. when you try forget someone or you break up with someone, the amygdala activates and gives you a feeling of discomfort. So much so that when starting a new relationship after a short time after leaving someone, these thoughts can occur again.
Biology and love: When we fall in love, we change our neural structure. Therefore, when we want to move on from someone it ends up resembling the process of trying to quit a drug.
Since we are little we are very conditioned to think that happiness comes from the external and not from the internal. So much so that when we discover someone we can love, we can boost our self-esteem, security and happiness thanks to it. Seeking happiness in others is a mistake that is more than destructive for ourselves.
Tips to know how to forget someone quickly
Although there is no magic formula that allows you to knowr how to forget a love instantly, if you can fight these bad thoughts through certain tips.
Take care of yourself: Being in a committed relationship, we often start to take care of our partner more than ourselves. So much so that when we want to leave it and forget someone We end up feeling empty and null as people. Therefore, a good way to leave these bad feelings behind is to try to dedicate the same energy to yourself that you have dedicated to your ex or the person you loved.
Discover yourself again: Now that you have more time for yourself, a way to forget someone, is discovering new passions or hobbies. Doing new and different activities can replace the feeling of joy you have when you are in love.
Open your circle of friends: Friendships are also a fundamental part of our lives. So much so that now is a good time to expand your circle of friends even further. The objective of this is not to replace the person you want to forget but let go of thoughts related to them.
Delete their trace from your social networks: Even though the person may have brought you many positive things, it is vital to erase traces of your relationship. Obviously you can keep some photographs as souvenirs, but not on social networks.
Do not blame yourself: When a relationship ends, many people end up blaming themselves for the distance or problems with the person. So much so, that they even think that they are the ones who have all the mistakes. On these occasions, forget someone It can be more difficult because feeling this can mean low self-esteem. No matter how much you think this at first, the reality is that when a relationship ends it is because that person didn’t really fit with you.
Think about what your relationship was really like: For forget a person It is essential to analyze what your relationship was really like. If you stop to think about its negative points, you will most likely see why it ended and how it was not positive to continue with the relationship.
Encourage positive thoughts: Even though you are in a bad situation, now is the best time to train your brain and mind. Therefore, it is essential to be able to change negative thoughts and replace them with more positive ones. One of the most effective techniques to achieve this is through internal dialogue. Another way of control your thoughts It is with the help of meditation or mindfulness.
Enjoy your new freedom: Now what you don’t have a person next to you, it’s time to enjoy the freedom of being alone. Loneliness is not negative, on the contrary, it can help you achieve all your goals and evolve into what you really want to be.
Don’t let society pressure you: From an age onwards, many people feel pressured to have a relationship. The belief that you cannot be alone is an error of our culture and society. Therefore, the best way to forget someone that is not convenient for you or to stop talking to someone you like and want to forget, is to leave these beliefs behind. There are many people who do not have a partner despite being old and live more than happily since they focus on other aspects of life that are just as important.
Think about what you can improve: You can get good things from process of forgetting someone Therefore, it may be interesting to make a list of everything you could improve in your old relationship and how developing it would benefit you today.
Don’t be afraid of loneliness and being single: Many people have fear of forgetting the person because they think they still have a chance. This feeling does not come from the reason that you really want to return, but rather from the fear of being alone. The fear of being single means that you cannot leave behind the people you must forget or enjoy these moments with yourself.
Get out of your comfort zone: A good one technique to forget about someone It’s getting out of your comfort zone. Experiencing new sensations as well as seeing yourself in other scenarios in life can make you discover new facets that help you leave the past behind.
“The comfort zone is a psychological state in which one feels familiar, safe, at ease and secure. You never change your life until you leave your comfort zone; Change begins at the end of your comfort zone.”
Roy T. Bennett
Mistakes when trying to forget someone
Many times we try at all costs forget someone without being very clear how to do it. When this separation affects us a lot, we can make a series of mistakes that make this process more difficult. Therefore, if you are having trouble taking this step, it may be vital to have the help of a psychologist.
Replace it with someone: One of the most common mistakes is trying replace a person with another lover. This will not allow you to learn to forget a woman or a man. The reality is that doing this will make you feel even worse. Instead of trying to meet someone to fill that void, you can dedicate yourself to yourself and learn to be alone.
Keep in touch: There is no way to forget a person that involves maintaining contact with it. It is vital to try to get as far away from your old love as possible and let space and time pass.
Rethink what you could have done right: Anchoring yourself in the past is never a good decision. Plus see what you could have done right to continue with the person. To try to find out how forget someone who doesn’t belong to you it is vital to leave behind any thoughts about what would have happened if you had taken another action.
Talk with your friends: Many times we turn to our friends to vent about the person in question. Although it is okay to talk to your friends about your emotions or sensations, it is not good to encourage negativity towards the other person. Therefore, if you feel that it is difficult for you forget a person it may be a good decision to go to the psychologist to emerge stronger from this experience.
It may seem that forget someone It is almost a titanic task. Despite all the advice you can use to get rid of those negative thoughts, the secret to getting away from someone you like is by promoting your self-esteem and working on yourself.
