What Is An Emotional Manipulator Like? 6 Signs Of Emotional Manipulation And 7 Ways To Deal With It

A manipulator He tries to control the people around him even though doing so may damage his self-esteem and confidence. Although we have all used psychological manipulation at some point or another, what differentiates a manipulative person is that they consciously use these types of attitudes and behaviors only to obtain a benefit and take advantage of others. So, how can we identify a manipulator and put an end to their manipulation?

What is emotional manipulation?

The psychological manipulation or emotional manipulation It involves trying to control a person without them realizing it. In this way, emotional manipulators usually make sure that their victims constantly doubt themselves so that they can take control and take advantage of the situation to their advantage.

So much so that when you live with or have contact with manipulative people It is likely that you feel that you are the ‘bad one’ or the one who is doing wrong in this relationship. Something that can end up causing you to suffer consequences on your mental health.

What does it mean to be a manipulator?

Being a manipulative person generally implies the desire to want to control, change and deform any of the behaviors or perceptions of others. When we mention a emotional manipulator We refer to individuals who use a variety of tactics to exert influence in their inner circle. Manipulative people use everything from guilt to mind games to achieve their goals. All of this without caring about the negative consequences that these actions can have on everyone else.

It is important to note that victims of manipulation by these individuals may suffer negative repercussions on their mental health. For this reason, it is important to be attentive and aware of someone with these characteristics. If you find yourself in an uncontrollable situation with one of these abusive people, whether it is your partner or a very close friend, you can always count on the help of a professional psychologist to know all the most effective techniques to deal with them. Even so, here we will show you the most characteristic traits of emotional manipulators.

How do you know if a person is manipulative?

There are a series of signs in a person’s behavior that can help you detect if you are facing a manipulator or emotional manipulator Among the most common, we highlight the following:

1. They want to know everything about you: Normally, the manipulative people They usually show a lot of interest in everything related to you. In fact, what a manipulative woman or a manipulative man will be most interested in is knowing your insecurities and vulnerabilities, not to support you, but to use it against you when it is convenient for them.
2. Inconsistency in your actions and attitudes: A method that will use a manipulator To have mental control over the other person will be to be very ambiguous in your behaviors. For example, they may treat you badly and then say nice things to you or compliment you so you can see that they care.
3. Feelings of guilt: They will also exercise their psychological manipulation through making you feel guilty for things for which you are not responsible. For example, if a manipulative person says a hurtful or sharp comment to you, he or she will probably justify it by saying that the problem is with you because you are overly sensitive.
4. Personal attacks: One of the ways in which will carry out manipulation It will be through small blows at low level. In fact, they will use your insecurities to make you feel bad in situations that you cannot escape.
5. Silent treatment: This is a classic control tactic. The silent treatment, i.e. ignoring or withdrawing, is used to increase your anxiety about anything you have done wrong, causing you to act desperately to try to fix whatever you may have done.
6. Gaslighting: This is one of the ways of psychological manipulation more common. An emotional manipulator will methodically sow the seeds of doubt, causing your targets to question your reality: your memory, perception and judgment.

Is he a bad manipulative person?

In the vast majority of cases, a person with a manipulative personality will act this way because they experience deep-rooted anxiety or fear. In this way, normally, this attitude is a strategy to communicate the manipulator weaknesses Among these traits, the most common are the following:

• Need for control or power over others.
• Need to raise your own self-esteem.
• Fear of abandonment
• Feelings of worthlessness, helplessness or hopelessness.
• The willingness to prioritize your own feelings and desires over the needs and well-being of others

How to ‘beat’ a manipulator?

The first step to be able to identify a manipulative person It will be observing their way of acting. Although they are normally very socially skilled individuals, there are some signs that reveal that you are dealing with an unknown manipulator.

1. They instill doubts in others: When you keep questioning yourself when you are around them, maybe you are dealing with a manipulative person. Doubt is one of the best weapons to affect an individual’s self-confidence. Having less security makes anyone more sensitive to manipulation tactics. In this way, the controlling and manipulative people They manage to maintain power over others.
2. They use guilt as a weapon: One of the most characteristic facets is the use of guilt to make someone act in a specific way. With this, the emotional manipulators They get their victim into a submissive and weak position. This is how guilt can be an effective tool to exercise more authority.
3. They take advantage of kindness: Sometimes being too nice can be a disadvantage. In many situations, manipulators can take advantage of the kindest people. Individuals who tend to exploit this facet of a friend or family member may have manipulator traits When someone only looks out for themselves and does not care about others, this can be a clear sign of being in front of a person of this style.
4. They spread false information on purpose: This is one of the most unusual strategies in a manipulative personality By spreading false stories or facts, these individuals try to make others see things from their perspective. Although this tactic seems like one of twisted people, the reality is that many of these individuals carry out these types of actions to achieve more control over others.
5. They never take the blame: A very characteristic attitude of a manipulative and lying person is that they never take blame for any of their actions. In these situations they always try to blame someone else and will even make others think that they are the victims. This will ensure that you stay in control in any situation.
6. They are very discreet: Although it seems that detecting controlling and manipulative people It’s very easy, the reality is that these individuals know very well how to hide their most telltale features. By being discreet, they can hide their true facade for a long time and continue using these tactics to maintain control.
7. They feign ignorance: When in a situation they feel that their mask is falling, the manipulative people They tend to feign ignorance. In this way they manage to confuse informers, making them doubt their own information. These individuals tend to be very good actors, so they have the tools to hide their true emotions and feelings.

How does a manipulator act when he/she is discovered?

If you are aware of when someone is exercising a psychological manipulation For you, it is normal that you wonder what to do. On many occasions, when a manipulative person is dismantled they often play victim and insist that there really are no such intentions in their actions. When this happens, you can try the following tactics:

• Avoid feeling ashamed or guilty for doing something.
• When a manipulator makes a covert threat, ask him or her about the threat.
• Ask the manipulative person if you can tell them directly what they want.
• Avoid sharing how the manipulation makes you feel, as these feelings can later be used as a tactic by the manipulator.
• Be direct, clear and honest, and refuse to participate in the escalating game of manipulation.

How does manipulating a person end up affecting their mental health?

When suffering a constant manipulation, people may end up experiencing certain consequences on their mental health. In fact, chronic psychological manipulation in close relationships can end up being emotional abuse and have a trauma-like effect. Therefore, living with a manipulative person can cause the following psychological havoc.

• Depression
• Anxiety
• Develop unhealthy coping patterns
• Constantly trying to please the manipulative person.
• Lying about your feelings
• Putting someone else’s needs before your own
• Difficulty trusting others

What to do if the emotional manipulator is your partner?

The handling In the long term it can have serious effects on close relationships, including those between friends, family, and romantic partners. When the manipulative person is in a close relationship, this can end up causing the victim to have psychological consequences or the relationship to end.

Within a marriage or couple, the manipulation It can make one partner feel intimidated, isolated, or worthless. The attitude of an emotional manipulator in a couple can take many forms, from exaggeration, blaming, to passive aggression.

How to deal with a manipulative person?

According to a study in Journal Of Social And Personal Relationshipsone of the weaknesses of a manipulator It is ignorance. The researchers found that this was the best attitude to emerge unscathed in a social interaction with manipulative people. Furthermore, they also concluded that using this strategy increased the victim’s intelligence and productivity.

For this reason, one of the best ways to capture these selfish and manipulative people It will be trying to avoid them in all situations. The solution to not having to face manipulators is to leave them aside. Only through ignorance and indifference will they realize that they must change their attitude to face life.