In motherhood, the protective instinct is something innate, inevitable and even necessary since it is the main reason why we have not become extinct throughout all this time. During the first years of life we need the care and protection of our parents to survive since newborns are defenseless, vulnerable and immature. But what happens if this protection is exaggerated? Does overprotection have consequences for our children?
Overprotection is defined as excessive care by parents with intense emotional involvement that leads to the need to control the child. Parents hide behind the argument of their good intentions and do not realize that they are interfering with the adequate psychological development of the infant. Childish behaviors, not allowing the child to do certain things, and in general, making their life easier are clear examples of this attitude.
As we mentioned, it is absolutely normal to want to protect our child, however, we would like to emphasize that protection and overprotection are not the same. Do not confuse these terms since protection is understood as the action of protecting or helping someone in order to prevent them from getting hurt. This is being very different from overprotection, where the attitude brings with it a feeling of fear in both the adult and the child
If you think that by overprotecting your child you ensure that he or she does not lack for anything, and consequently, his happiness is assured, you are wrong. In today’s article we will analyze the consequences that this parental behavior has on their children. Stick around to discover how emotional and psychological development is affected by a parent’s fear of letting go.
The fact of giving and giving to children to ensure that they do not suffer or lack anything means that they are not able to tolerate the feeling of frustration in an adequate way. These children, when something does not go as they intended, tend to get angry, be aggressive and demand They are used to not having to work or fight to get what they want since their parents take care of that.
Clearly, the anger they feel when they are minors is much more tolerable than when they are adults. When the years go by and these children must join their love life, work life, etc. They usually show great difficulties in their interpersonal relationships and in life in general.
2. Learning abilities are altered
Children who have been overprotected do not learn from their mistakes since their parents have anticipated what will or will not happen all the time With this, we manage to extinguish their learning capacity. If we do not allow us to let go of control of the situation and let the minor fall to the ground on the bicycle, urinate on it right when leaving the house, etc. he will never be able to identify and modify his behavior.
3. Little responsibility
Since parents constantly solve their children’s problems, these children learn to neglect themselves and, consequently, their ability to take responsibility is nil. This affects their lives completely and can be seen when the child has a hard time carrying out the tasks that are assigned to him.
Protecting in an exaggerated way makes the child feel undervalued in his potential. Not allowing him to experience the consequences of her actions on his own skin makes the minor feel invalid and not capable enough to cope with different situations. The worst thing is that he learns to extrapolate this feeling to all areas of his life and his self-esteem is clearly affected
5. Immaturity
Overprotecting is closely linked to parents encouraging childish behaviors. It seems that they do not allow their children to grow up, become independent from the maternal or paternal figure and begin to discover their autonomy. This makes the child immature, does not have behaviors in line with his or her age, and does not develop adequately either physically or mentally.
6. Fears increase
Overprotection burdens children with fears. Minors receive information related to insecurities and fears in their environment. Childhood is a key time where we create mental schemas about ourselves, our environment, and life in general. Parents who fill their children with precautions and insecurities encourage this pattern to be harmful to them
7. They have not experienced
Not allowing your child to experience different situations means that they do not experience what is necessary. Experimenting is necessary for the correct development of children and depriving them of it only has negative consequences. The child must go through certain experiences as long as there is no real danger in them.
Conclusions
It is portrayed that excessive protection is equivalent to clipping the wings of children. Many parents have been educated with an authoritarian style and in an attempt to prevent their children from suffering or going through the same things as them, they turn to overprotection.
If you have identified with this article, it is important that you begin to trust your child’s abilities We must learn to delegate and realize that they do not need us for everything. We cannot keep our child in a bubble where nothing and no one can harm him. Sooner or later, this minor will leave the warmth of the home and will have to face all the adverse situations that exist in society. Having him in a glass case only encourages him to not be able to adjust properly and his mental health to suffer.
The key is to support and accompany our children but always in a respectful way so that they learn to play with the right cards. It is important to let him know that as a parent you are there for him when he needs it but you do not have the ability to constantly solve his life. Taking time to learn to do things for yourself is of utmost importance. If you think you need help dealing with this issue, we advise you to seek professional advice.
