How To ‘fix’ A Couple’s Anger? 7 Ways To Deal With It
What can we do to deal with anger in a couple? Why can we feel this way? Discover some keys to facing this situation and the negative feelings that may arise.
Getting angry within a relationship can be common if we do not know how to communicate our problems or manage our emotions. In these cases, feeling that you are upset with your partner or that you get angry about everything can be a very common situation. So what can we do to manage this anger within our relationship?
This anger you feel doesn’t have to be bad. In fact, in many cases, this anger tends to be an appropriate and justified response to certain events. In fact, this anger can be a way to detect what you need to fix in the relationship. Taking this into account, some of the most common triggers that can cause this anger within the relationship are the following:
Your partner says inconsiderate things to you: If your partner does or says things that offend you or make you feel bad, and you do not communicate these feelings, this can end up triggering an outburst of anger.
Doesn’t prioritize you: We all want to feel important in a relationship. That is, if you feel that your partner does not put you first, or if it seems that he prioritizes others before you, you may end up feeling some resentment.
Does not carry out his domestic responsibilities: When the balance of responsibilities in the house is not adequate, this can end up taking its toll on the couple’s relationship.
He doesn’t have the same priorities as you: To have a healthy relationship, it is crucial that your priorities for the future are aligned. That is, if you don’t feel like you’re going in the same direction or have the same goals, this can cause some anger within the relationship.
You hold a grudge: All people can make mistakes, so it is important to communicate our feelings when others harm us or make us feel bad. In the case of a relationship, people may feel resentment because an issue has not been resolved or clarified.
These triggers can end up causing more problems beyond anger. In fact, they can cause the relationship to suffer greatly because the problems behind these feelings are not resolved.
How to fix a couple’s anger?
If you don’t know how to deal with anger within your relationship, there are some tips that may be useful to deal with these feelings of anger or resentment:
Express your feelings: In many cases, people try to ‘erase’ and repress negative emotions that may arise within a relationship. Given these feelings, it is important to avoid repressing them. On the contrary, the ideal is to try to express them to our partner, always talking about how we feel instead of stating ‘facts’.
Analyze where the resentment comes from: The best way to address a problem is by identifying where these feelings come from. That is, understand why you are angry or upset with your partner and try to communicate why you feel that way.
Understand that we can all make mistakes : Sometimes we expect the other person in the relationship to be perfect. Believing that the other person must understand us perfectly because they are our partner will only end up causing damage to us and the relationship. That is, you must be very clear about your limits and how to approach problems as a couple.
Work for forgiveness : It may seem easy to want to forgive someone when we want to, but sometimes, forgiveness can be more difficult for us than we think. If you say you forgive your partner, but then feel resentful, this is an injustice to your partner. Therefore, it is important to take some time to determine where you are emotionally before making any decisions.
Step away for a few moments: If you feel overwhelmed by feelings of anger or anger, try letting your partner know that you need a few moments to calm down and reflect. This space will help you balance your emotions and, above all, clarify your thoughts.
Use relaxation techniques: When emotions are taking over you, a good solution is to use different relaxation techniques. Through this you will be able to calm your body and therefore your emotions.
Go to therapy: A couples therapist can help you discover what is causing your anger and, above all, how to address it within your relationship. Additionally, it will allow you to find ways to deal with these angry feelings and how to communicate them.
Getting angry in a relationship is a completely normal situation. Therefore, you should not understand that these feelings are negative. Instead, if you try to analyze and understand them, this will help you make your relationship stronger in every way.
