Envy is a natural feeling that we all have. The problem arises when we constantly become envious. Discover why it happens and how to turn envy positive for you.
In back of the envy The desire of human beings to be better is always hidden. Despite the multiple forms and ways in which envy presents itself to us, the reality is that it is normal to feel it in different situations. Even so, when envy is pathological and we feel it on many occasions, this can cause a problem for our lives.
We could define the meaning of envy as the feeling that produces a certain discomfort in us when faced with the achievements or successes of other people. Therefore, when we are faced with an envious person, he or she feels displeasure or annoyance caused by the well-being of someone else.
Although many times the envious They are seen with bad eyes, the reality is that we all feel these kinds of feelings. The difference between an envious person and someone who, despite feeling envy, is not envious is the attitude they have towards these emotions. According to our reaction to this feeling, psychologists define two types of envy.
negative envy
In negative envy we find the most reproached attitude of the envious The main signs of envy that this type show is wanting what others have. So much so that those who are envious are deeply angry that the other person has what they want. In this situation you can think and express yourself like this: “since I can’t, I am less. So the only thing I can achieve is for that other person to lose, to stop having that.” Example: When we observe someone who seems happy, for whatever circumstance, and in their internal forum they are not, the only thing they are looking for is a way to bother you so that you feel bad and thus balance the two parties. “If I’m not okay, you can’t either.”
With this posture of negative envy, the envied person feels that discomfort at that moment, but the envious person does not appease his frustration because the other feels bad, since when that moment of triumph ends, the successful person will continue to be so despite minimal bad times. On the other hand, the envious will feel victory at this moment but they will also continue to be bitter and will have only won a small battle in their personal war. All of this, without realizing that this negative envy only reinforces their insecurity and self-esteem.
positive envy
The second way to approach the feeling of the envy, is less frequent, but ends with the personal battle of the envious person. So much so that in this type of envy, the envious person asks himself, “hey, if he has achieved it, why can’t I achieve it?” Therefore, the person who feels envy begins to value that he is the same as others and that he can also achieve it. In this type of envious people, envy is transformed into a positive feeling that allows personal evolution. In positive envy, the perspective is changed to make the negative feelings of those who are envious become constructive both for others and for themselves.
Why do we feel envy?
Most people have a natural inclination to compare ourselves to others who are similar in our social circle. When in these comparisons we end up feeling inferior to others, then we can say that we are feeling envy towards the other. Despite this, envy is a feeling with a much more complex background than just this comparison. Among the aspects that make us perceive envy as negative, instead of positive, are:
Low self-esteem
People with low self-esteem tend to compare themselves with others and feel envious of his closest circle. The reason is not because they are bad people, but they simply have very negative thoughts towards themselves, causing them to always lose in all the comparisons they make.
Little motivation
When people feel little motivation to achieve their goals, they end up becoming very envious The reason is that conformism, when it is too present, does not allow us to leave our comfort zone and ends up taking its toll on us.
Narcissistic people
People with narcissistic personalities always want to feel better than others. This feeling makes the envy be more present in their lives than in most cases.
Although these are the most common causes of envy, the reality is that the envy It can arise for many more reasons. The important thing in each of these cases is to detect it in time and turn it into a positive feeling to achieve each of our purposes and goals.
Difference between jealousy and envy
There are many cases in which envy is confused with jealousy. On the one hand we could say that envy To others it makes us want to acquire something that another person possesses, whether it is a virtue or a physical object. On the other hand, when we refer to jealousy, we are highlighting the fear of losing something that we already possess in advance. Therefore, when we are talking about a jealous person, we are referring to the feeling that arises from a personal rivalry to retain or recover something that we believe is ours.
How to overcome envy?
If you think you are a envious person and you are part of the envious people who feel this feeling in a negative way, there are some formulas so that you can use all that energy for your personal good.
1. Be grateful for what you have
Sometimes we do not realize everything we have and that is why we experience envy So a good way to leave feelings of envy behind is by trying to be grateful for everything around us. To achieve this, it is essential every day to value who we are and what we have achieved thanks to our efforts. This exercise will not only help us leave behind envy of others, but it will also allow us to improve our self-esteem.
As we have already said, when we envy to someone it is for a specific reason. Therefore, it is essential to analyze our envy to see the reason behind it. In this way, the best way to know how to overcome envy is precisely by achieving the goals or objectives that make us suffer from it.
3. Act positively
Many times, feel envy It causes us to end up with a brain full of recurring and negative thoughts. For this reason, it is vital to try to put aside this attitude that is harmful to us and train ourselves to think positively.
4. Meditate or practice sports
Physical exercise or meditation allows you to better analyze each of your thoughts. For this reason, if you think that you have become a very envious person, it may be a good time to focus on leading a healthier life. Although at first it seems not to have much relationship with this feeling, the reality is that practicing both meditation and a sport will improve your ability to take control of your mind.
5. Go to a psychologist
To improve on the outside we often go to the gym, but we are not yet in the habit of calling a psychologist when we want to improve on the inside. Having the help of a mental health professional will be perfect not only to bury envy or transform it into something positive for you, but you will also be able to improve all other aspects of your personality.
Envy Not only does it make us feel small in front of others, but we also harm ourselves in a completely unnecessary way. That is why it is vital to stop looking at others and focus on our own goals. Only in this way can we be the person we want.
