The social pressure exerted on women to play the role of mother is a reality. Below I will talk to you about this and the consequences it can cause on a psychological level.
Just a few weeks ago a campaign was published in Italy that has caused a stir in the country. This is a proposal to make Italian women aware of the need to procreate. The campaign, far from being comprehensive, shows phrases like: “beauty has no age, fertility does” and the response has been a wave of complaints on social networks
I take advantage of this topic to talk about the situation in our country, which does not seem so different from that of Italy. Surely if you are a woman, between 25 and 35 years old and have a stable partner, you will be tired of hearing comments like: “And when are you?” “at this rate you are passing the rice”, etc. You just have to turn on the television to see a sample of that pressure Although it is true that the media does not send explicit messages, advertisements (especially for cleaning products) usually feature young girls who are mothers and perfectly combine being a mother, working and running the house. Not to mention the famous ones who get pregnant and have a physical recovery from a heart attack. In just two months they have a better physique than before getting pregnant… It seems easy, right?
To begin with, women started studying decades ago (luckily). The majority complete university degrees and some master’s or postgraduate training. This issue causes the search for a “serious” job to begin at the age of 24. Furthermore, with the economic crisis, many people have had to accept jobs that in other circumstances they would not have accepted: garbage contracts of just a few months, contracts for work and service or internship contracts. In all those cases salaries are usually very low and the tasks to be performed are not what the person would like, since many times they do not perform tasks related to what they have studied. On other occasions, since they have no experience, they are forced to work “whatever” or volunteer to gain experience.
With this panorama, it is not very easy to find economic stability, and therefore, the idea of starting a family is difficult. In addition, there is a growing need to travel and see the world. More and more couples are delaying starting a family because their priorities include taking great trips and enjoying their younger years. Emancipation extends and with it the need to have children.
Therefore, with this situation it is normal to think that the birth rate will not increase. The problem is that society pressures young people to anticipate a time for which they are not prepared or do not want. There are people who want to have children, but cannot do so because their economic situation does not allow it. In the case of women, even if they want to have children, as it does? If you work about 8 hours each day, there is very little time left to play the role of mother (not to mention that of housewife, which is also still latent, but that is another article). Furthermore, there are many companies that do not hire young girls for fear that they will get pregnant or if they already have a job, they are fired. Other companies directly ask you the question in the interview even knowing that they cannot ask it.
Furthermore, there is the issue of maternity leave, just 4 months of sick leave forces the future mother to stop breastfeeding her child earlier than she might wish to and to delegate the care of her child to grandparents or a daycare center, which causes more financial problems. Therefore, on many occasions mothers stop working for a few years to be able to take care of the children, because in total, they spend half a salary in daycare and if they work they see their children for very little time. Furthermore, the role of caregiver is completely delegated to the mother, since paternity leave is only two weeks.
With everything I am explaining to you, it is more than logical that many women delay that moment or do not want it. But society continues to pressure, ignoring all these difficulties and saying derogatory phrases like: “if you don’t have children it’s because you’re selfish.” With this scenario, on a psychological level, many girls they get depressed, they stop relating on a social level to not listen to comments or are continually on the defensive. In addition, relationship problems may appear, since the man usually does not find so many problems, in short, it is only 2 weeks and then they return to their normal life. The person in charge of primary care is still the mother for the moment, and the father, although he is becoming more and more involved, continues to be a secondary caregiver.
Therefore, the boy is usually ready before the girl and there can occur emotional breakups On other occasions, the woman gives in to social pressure, and then the famous postpartum depression appears, which can last for a while, as a result of her not feeling prepared for the role that is coming upon her. If we look at the long-term consequences, if a woman stops working for her children, she tends to postpone her professional career, which can make her feel very bad and depressed for “having wasted her life” and depending on her partner (there she can emotional dependence may appear if the relationship does not work and you cannot leave it because you feel without resources). If you continue working, on the one hand anxiety may appear due to carrying so many things at once and not having a break, but on the other hand, feelings of guilt may appear for delegating care to grandparents who are already elderly or simply for seeing their loved ones for too little time. children. There are many mothers who have the feeling that they are missing out on seeing their children grow up and that depresses them. Furthermore, many women remain in jobs that do not satisfy them because of the moral obligation to cover the economic needs of their children. More and more girls are coming to therapy for these consequences and society would have to take measures of some kind if it really wants to change the situation.
In conclusion I will say, if you are a girl, young and do not want to have children, it is not a bad thing nor are you selfish. The important thing in this life is to enjoy it at every moment and if you don’t feel ready or don’t want to be a mother, you are totally free. Enjoy your freedom.
