What does guilty and responsible mean? Are they different concepts? How do these two behaviors affect our psyche?
What is guilt? Is it good to feel guilt? What is the use of guilt? Is being guilty the same as being responsible? Many of us have difficulty answer these questions, but I’m sure we’ve said more than once “it’s all your fault”, “it’s not entirely my fault”, “I feel guilty for…”. The word guilt is immersed in our vocabulary… now, the word responsible?
Is there a difference between guilt and responsibility?
Today I intend to clarify the difference between guilt and responsibility and if we should feel guilty or responsible for our actions. Guilt is a negative feeling and set of thoughts that causes us pain and makes us aware that we have broken our moral “rules.”
We all make mistakes and we have ever felt guilty, rating ourselves negatively and feeling bad about ourselves. Besides… guilt is automatic. I don’t choose to feel guilty, I just feel that way.
Now, to what extent is it healthy to feel guilty? Guilt makes me feel bad, devalues me, belittles me… On the other hand, feel responsible It makes me feel bad about the behavior I have done, but not about myself. I accept that I make mistakes, and I don’t like those mistakes, but I do like and respect myself.
How to stop being guilty and become responsible?
What we have to do to react with responsibility and not with guilt:
1. Acknowledge that we have made a mistake
Denying our responsibility is not accepting ourselves, not loving ourselves…that devalues us even more. Accept that you make mistakes, that you are wrong.
2. Acknowledge to yourself that it was not intentional, that you are human
Forgive yourself, don’t beat yourself up. You are not perfect, nor do you try to be, please.
3. Now is the time to apologize
Be honest, accept the fact, accept your mistake and behavior. Despise your behavior, but not yourself.
4. Do everything you can to resolve your mistake
Ask how you can help.
5. Learn from the situation
Incorporate into your repertoire what your mistake has taught you.
The blame on us damages self-esteem, it makes us suffer, it does not allow us to learn and you will not feel well with yourself. You will be an enemy of yourself, you will be the one who reproaches and devalues yourself. On the other hand, if you feel responsible for your behavior, you will correct your mistakes, you will recognize that we all make mistakes, you will respect yourself, you will love yourself, you will commit to change.
What are the most important differences between responsibility and guilt?
Responsibility:
- Originates in consciousness
- Assume and correct the error
- frees you
- Sorry
- It is objective
- Take action
Blame:
- It originates in the ego
- perpetuates the error
- He manipulates you – He takes revenge
- It’s subjective
- It stagnates
To be responsible It is healthy and necessary, it frees us from guilt. Events happen and we cannot always avoid them. We are the only ones responsible for our behaviors, our decisions, and your mistakes, but do not be indebted to yourself. Nobody is born with an instruction manual, but you can learn from your mistakes, but for that you need to recognize that you are the owner of your behavior, respecting yourself in every step you take, regardless of the direction that that is.
