Couple Separation Anxiety: 7 Signs That Indicate This Disorder

How do we know if we suffer from separation anxiety disorder as adults? What signs indicate that our anxiety due to separation from our partner is a disorder? Find out.

Separation anxiety in the couple

Spending time apart from your partner can be difficult in any romantic relationship. In fact, it is normal to feel loneliness and restlessness as the days go by when you are apart. But when worry, nervousness, and emotional negativity become overwhelming because of it, we may have a case of separation anxiety. How can we know if we are facing this separation anxiety disorder?

What is separation anxiety?

The separation anxiety It was considered a condition that affected children’s mental health and that mainly derived from suffering from a fear of abandonment. In fact, in previous editions of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM), in order to diagnose separation anxiety disorder, there was a premise that symptoms began before the age of 18.

Currently, different research supports the idea that adults can experience this separation anxiety and in fact, this is included in the DSM-5. In this way, the couple separation anxiety It may derive from the fact that through this link we are remembering the family experiences of our childhood.

Because of these feelings of connection, by fearing the loss of this person too much, we can experience a separation anxiety to the point of developing anxiety about it. People who suffer from this type of anxiety can end up suffering from a series of symptoms that affect both their mental health and their relationships.

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Separation anxiety symptoms

You can recognize a separation anxiety disorder through a key sign: a feeling of extreme or unbearable anguish at the idea of ​​being separated from your partner. In addition, people who suffer from separation anxiety as adults may suffer from the following symptoms:

  1. Constant worry: The couple separation anxiety It may involve experiencing frequent worries about death, harm, or a breakup.
  2. Discomfort: Faced with this disorder, people usually have an irrational fear of not being with their partner.
  3. Distress: When leaving, people with this separation anxiety disorder They usually have some anxiety or discomfort when their partner leaves home.
  4. Need for control: Another of the signs of this disorder is precisely to constantly control their partners, that is, they feel the need to know where they are, when they will return, every time they are separated. In addition, they are afraid that accidents may occur on the way to work, which is why, on many occasions, they demand to be informed when they arrive and perform repetitive checking behaviors.
  5. Difficulty sleeping without them: The couple separation anxiety It also implies experiencing certain discomforts when not being able to sleep with the person you love. In fact, even this can cause insomnia.
  6. Lack of concentration: Difficulty concentrating at work and at school or university may also be due to separation anxiety in the couple
  7. Fear that the couple will break up: People with this disorder may also experience some breakup anxiety or heartbreak anxiety which implies being afraid or afraid of feeling abandoned by their partners.

In addition to experiencing these symptoms, people with a separation anxiety disorder They may have other physical signs such as an upset stomach or headaches. If you feel identified with many of these symptoms, it is likely that you suffer from this disorder.

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How to deal with separation anxiety as a couple

How does anxiety due to breakup, heartbreak or separation affect a couple?

Although it may seem that these feelings are ‘normal’ at first, the reality is that experiencing them constantly can end up affecting our mental and physical health:

  • Impact on mental health: Living in this state of constant fear makes us more reactive to others, as well as making decisions out of fear of losing a loved one. These types of attitudes can affect our mental health, since the anguish and anxiety they cause.
  • Impact on relationships: Trust is important in any relationship. Given the feelings of the separation anxiety people can end up having behaviors of distrust, such as a possessive, controlling and jealous attitude.

How to deal with separation anxiety in relationships?

Faced with this disorder, it is crucial to work to improve the negative feelings and emotions that may arise. To be able to cope separation anxiety in a couple we recommend that you take into account the following tips:

  1. Recognize the signs: The first step is to recognize the signs of separation anxiety in a couple To identify them, you can talk to family, friends or even your own partner.
  2. Accept your feelings: Instead of trying to deny or eliminate the negative emotions that may arise from separation, we recommend that you try to accept them without judging or try to eliminate them directly.
  3. Learn from other healthy relationships: Observing other couples who have a healthier relationship can help you identify what may be wrong with your behavior. For a relationship to be healthy, the independence of the couple is important, that is, they can live without each other.
  4. Work on your self-esteem: People who usually experience this separation anxiety in the couple They may be suffering from it due to a lack of self-esteem. Given this, we recommend that you try to work on increasing your personal value, as well as occupying your time without your partner in a way that is meaningful to you.
  5. Have your routines: Having a routine or setting personal goals without your partner can help you cope. couple separation anxiety
  6. Question your thoughts: Think that your thoughts are not facts, they are hypotheses that do not have to happen. Look for the real data you have that the feared thing will come true, calculate the probability of this happening and think about what resources you have to deal with it if that really happens, could you survive it?
  7. Go to therapy: If you think that the symptoms of separation anxiety disorder They are affecting you more than they should, it is vital that you go to a professional psychologist for treatment.
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The separation anxiety It can cause people to end up experiencing many problems both for themselves and in their relationships. In fact, leaving aside these types of dependent behaviors and attitudes towards your partner will make you feel fuller and your bonds with others will become much more pleasant.