To Argue or Not to Argue?

Arguing is not, in principle, something negative. The word comes from the Latin of a very similar word that means “to resolve.”

Arguing is not, in principle, something negative. The word comes from the Latin of a very similar word that means “to resolve.” Two people, or more, can discuss an issue to hear various points of view, analyze an issue with various arguments, and come to an agreement.

The discussion, today, has a very bad press. It is poorly seen.

I must confess that I learned to argue in my childhood, as a sport. My father and I argued without getting angry, for pure entertainment. Later I realized that this type of discussion was not easily transferable to other areas or with other people. There are people who are very nervous about arguing.

The discussion becomes a problem when:

– When people arguing become aggressive.

– When they abandon the topic they are talking about to move on to a personal attack.

– When they are not able to stop the discussion if an agreement is not reached.

– When they are not able to give up being right.

Over time I have realized that it is very healthy not having the need to argue:

– Not having the need to always say what you think, especially when you are with people who are not interested.

– It is a sign of maturity to have the ability to withdraw from an argument in time.

– Give up convincing: We don’t always have to convince others. We can try but… being able to understand that the other has another point of view.

When can we discuss?

– When we have people in front of us capable of exchanging different points of view without getting angry.

– When we are sure that the discussion is not going to lead us to lose control.

– When we are sure that we can put an end to it as if it were a sport.

What type of people is it best to never argue with?

– With authoritarian people who only want to impose their opinion.

– With overly sensitive people who can misinterpret any tone or reply.

– With intolerant, inflexible, paternalistic people… who have no interest in another’s opinion.