Unresolved issues become emotional blind spots and disrupt our daily relationships on a personal, work, and social level.
Even if we are loving and have the best intentions in the world, we can have many old defenses active that make us intolerant of our children’s experiences.
These situations make us become emotionally blind, preventing us from seeing the emotion in our children.
Our blindness to emotions causes them to disconnect from that specific emotion, from the sensations that it implies, or perhaps they become more activated and show oppositional behavior by carrying out inconvenient or unhealthy acts.
As parents, we react with hostility to their behavior and thereby facilitate the construction of what will be their sense of self, where the ability to tolerate those emotions will be conspicuous by their absence.
So if we have unresolved issues we must take the time to reflect on our type of emotional response. Once we achieve a deep understanding about ourselves, we will be able to offer our children a safe space where they can freely feel their emotions without fear of judgment.
Can we regulate our children’s frustration if we are not able to deal with our own?
Can we teach patience if we ourselves live in distress?
Do we tolerate and allow only positive emotions, ignoring or rejecting negative ones?
We may need to look inside ourselves and find the source of all these unresolved issues to help build a healthier sense of self in our children.
