Alexithymia: 9 Signs That Indicate An Inability To Express Feelings
Do you know that there are people with a lack of emotions and feelings? Do you think you may be an alexithymic? Discover what alexithymia is and the treatment for this disorder.
Most of the time we are aware of the role that emotion and feelings play in every decision we make. Ignorance of the emotions we experience can push us to take unfortunate steps or plunge us into a sea of doubts. The lack of emotions or people without feelings is one of the most unknown conditions currently. So much so that it is very likely that you have not heard of alexithymia, a condition in which a person has a clear lack of feelings and emotions.
Alexithymia is a psychological condition characterized by difficulty identifying, understanding, and expressing emotions. People with alexithymia often struggle to describe how they feel and may find it challenging to recognize emotions in others. This condition can affect relationships, mental health, and overall well-being.
Understanding the signs, causes, and possible treatments for alexithymia can help individuals manage their emotional world more effectively.
The term “alexithymia” comes from the Greek words:
“a-“ (lack of)
“lexis” (word)
“thymos” (emotion or feeling)
It literally means “lack of words for emotions.” People with alexithymia often:
Have trouble distinguishing emotions from physical sensations.
Struggle to express feelings verbally.
Experience difficulties in social interactions and relationships.
Alexithymia is not classified as a mental disorder but rather as a trait or condition that may appear in various psychological or neurological conditions, such as depression, PTSD, or autism spectrum disorder.
In psychology, it is called a person without feelings and with a clear lack of emotions, alexithymic. The problem is not because alexithymia produces symptoms such as a lack of empathy, but rather this disease makes individuals who suffer from it feel both feelings and emotions but are unable to express them.
The alexithymic people rarely get angry, they almost never cry, and when they do, they feel very disconcerted because they don’t understand what is happening to them or what the reason for their crying is. They are unable to articulate a single explanation for what they are feeling, and they are certainly not aware of their own feelings.
When something emotionally impacts, feel so bewildered and have so little control over what is actually happening to them, that they avoid these types of situations at all costs. This may explain why many people say that they do not want to be given gifts: the fact of receiving them can move them and cause a storm in them that is ultimately experienced as something disconcerting and painful.
These people who seem totally insensitive, it is not that they lack feelings but that they are unaware of them and cannot express them. They can perceive the bodily changes that accompany emotions: tachycardia, sweating, accelerated breathing rate, etc., but they are unable to associate these reactions that their body experiences with emotions such as fear, anger, anger, etc.
The problem with people with alexithymia is that in reality these individuals suffer from a certain emotional stagnation since they cannot express their feelings to others. Therefore, to others they seem like people with a clear lack of feelings and emotions even though reality is not like that. This type of pathology must be treated through a professional psychologist so that this condition does not lead to other mental problems.
1. Difficulty Identifying Emotions
People with alexithymia find it hard to recognize their own emotions. They may feel something is wrong but struggle to pinpoint whether it’s sadness, anger, frustration, or another feeling.
2. Limited Emotional Vocabulary
Those with alexithymia often lack words to describe emotions. When asked how they feel, they might respond with vague terms like “fine” or “okay” instead of expressing specific emotions like “happy,” “anxious,” or “disappointed.”
3. Trouble Recognizing Emotions in Others
Empathy can be difficult for people with alexithymia. They may struggle to interpret facial expressions, tone of voice, or body language, making it hard to understand how others feel.
4. Preference for Logical Thinking Over Feelings
People with alexithymia often rely on logic and reasoning rather than emotions when making decisions. They may approach emotional situations with practical solutions rather than offering comfort or support.
5. Lack of Emotional Expression
They may appear emotionally distant or indifferent. Even in moments of joy, sadness, or stress, their facial expressions and body language remain neutral or flat.
6. Physical Symptoms Instead of Emotional Awareness
Since they have difficulty recognizing emotions, individuals with alexithymia may experience physical symptoms instead. For example, rather than identifying stress or anxiety, they might report headaches, stomachaches, or fatigue.
7. Social and Relationship Difficulties
Their emotional detachment can make it challenging to form deep emotional connections. Partners, family, and friends may feel unseen or unheard, leading to misunderstandings and conflicts.
8. High Levels of Anxiety or Depression
Many people with alexithymia experience mental health issues, such as anxiety, depression, or emotional numbness. However, they may struggle to identify the cause of their distress.
9. Difficulty Enjoying or Engaging in Emotional Activities
People with alexithymia may feel disconnected from art, music, or literature, which often evoke strong emotions in others. They might not understand why others get emotional over movies, books, or personal experiences.
Causes of Alexithymia
Several factors can contribute to alexithymia, including:
1. Neurological Factors
Differences in brain function and structure (e.g., in the amygdala and prefrontal cortex) can affect emotional processing.
It is sometimes linked to autism spectrum disorder (ASD), where emotional recognition is often impaired.
2. Psychological Factors
People with trauma, PTSD, or childhood neglect may develop alexithymia as a coping mechanism to avoid painful emotions.
Personality traits such as introversion or emotional repression can also play a role.
3. Social and Cultural Influences
Some cultures or family environments discourage emotional expression, making it difficult for individuals to develop emotional awareness.
4. Coexisting Mental Health Conditions
Depression, anxiety, schizophrenia, and eating disorders are often associated with alexithymia.
Alexithymia test: Do I suffer from it?
To find out if you suffer from alexithymia, the only feasible way to find out is by going to a professional psychologist. Still, this self-assessment can help you discover if you’re experiencing certain problems. when expressing feelings and emotions:
Normally, I don’t know how I feel.
I usually don’t know what words to use to describe what I’m feeling and resort to simply saying statements like ‘I’m fine’ or ‘I don’t know’.
I have difficulty expressing how I feel about other people.
When I interact with others, I find it difficult to imagine how they might feel.
I find it easier to talk about situations or events than about feelings and emotions. I don’t understand the physical manifestations of my emotions.
If you have answered yes to most of the above statements and you also feel that these difficulties for express feelings and emotions are limiting you, it is important that you consult a professional psychologist. Keep in mind that the way alexithymia is expressed may vary from person to person.
How does alexithymia affect sexuality and relationships?
The social problems that underlie alexithymia are many and varied, since alexithymic. They have difficulties feeling and transmitting emotions, which will condition their lives, especially what concerns relationships.
Little stability in your relationships: Subjects who suffer from it usually show a serious, reserved, apathetic attitude, lacking communication (both verbal and affectionate), isolated from others, which affects the complicity and camaraderie of a couple; This undoubtedly takes a toll on the stability of the relationship.
Social isolation: In the social sphere, the independent and isolated attitude they present is viewed with suspicion and distrust by others, who tend to leave them aside in meetings and meetings.
Rejection by others: Faced with events such as the death of a loved one or the birth of a child, alexithymics feel unable to recognize how they feel, what their emotions are; They show no pain, sorrow or joy. They don’t feel anything for anyone or anything. In this way, someone with alexithymia not only seems emotionally unavailable, but they are also perceived as people who have no feelings or emotions towards others. For this reason, many people end up rejecting them because lack of emotions in situations like those we have described.
When someone has a emotional disorder such as alexithymia is very likely that he will end up isolating himself due to the discomfort that social environments produce. Constant rejection from others, who perceive them as people without feelings, can lead to disorders such as depression or anxiety. Therefore, it is vital to have a mental health professional when alexithymia is suspected.
How to Overcome Alexithymia
While there is no specific “cure” for alexithymia, therapy and self-awareness techniques can help individuals improve emotional understanding and expression.
1. Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT)
Helps individuals recognize, label, and express emotions.
Encourages mindfulness and introspection to increase emotional awareness.
2. Emotional Awareness Training
Journaling about daily feelings and experiences can help develop emotional vocabulary.
Practicing identifying emotions in others through movies or books can enhance empathy.
3. Psychotherapy (Talk Therapy)
A therapist can guide individuals in exploring emotional barriers and developing healthier ways to express emotions.
4. Group Therapy or Social Skills Training
Interacting with others in a structured setting can help improve communication and emotional recognition.
5. Mindfulness and Meditation
Practicing body awareness can help individuals connect with their emotions rather than suppress them.
6. Developing Emotional Literacy
Using emotion charts or lists to describe feelings can improve self-expression.
Researchers have launched treatments that advocate interpersonal deepening. In this way, psychotherapy works to increase verbal communication, bodily expressiveness and emotional awareness of the alexithymic patients with the aim that they are capable of carrying out a social, family and couple relationship.
In addition to interpersonal and social therapies, experts often work with emotional intelligence through workshops. Some specialists choose to combine therapies with the use of psychoregulatory and antisomatizing drugs that allow emotions to be unblocked, favoring positive ones and inhibiting negative ones. Finally, researchers also recommend leading an orderly and completely structured life, so that they focus their attention on identifying their emotions and learning to communicate through them with the people around them.
What to do if I can’t express feelings?
At this point, it is necessary to request help from a specialist in psychiatry and psychology to be able to carry out a complete psychopathological examination and reach the point of conflict. These reactions are very typical in highly perfectionistic, obsessive people, with lack of impulse control, anorexia and bulimia, borderline personality disorders, states of anxiety and depression.
Although alexithymia and its symptoms must be treated by a mental health professional, there are a series of exercises or methods that can help you look into alexithymia an effective cure for people who suffer from it.
Group therapy: The best method of leaving what is popularly called Dexter’s disorder, or alexithymia, is practicing emotional skills in social situations. In this way, group therapies can be very helpful so that these people can practice their emotional intelligence.
Emotional diary: A good way to express what we feel is through the practice of writing. So much so that one of the ways to try to alleviate this emotional disorder is keeping a diary with everything that has happened during the day and the feelings that have been felt in each of these situations. In this way, the emotional stagnation that can occur in an alexithymic person can be left behind.
Practice an art: Creativity and emotions are closely related. So much so, that any art can be a good way to train the expression of emotions. Through music, poetry or painting, an alexithymia person with severe symptoms it can alleviate many of the ravages of these pathologies.
Meditation and relaxation techniques: Meditation is the gold therapy for our current era. Through the practice of relaxation and meditation people can better understand their inner self. So much so that an affectation of secondary or primary alexithymia through the practice of these disciplines.
Read emotional books or stories: Reading is closely linked to the practice of empathy. In this way, the people without feelings or rather, individuals who with symptoms of lack of empathy can practice it through the imagination that books transmit.
The alexithymia can be a condition that affects a person in many areas. Although an alexithymic may seem at first glance to be an emotionally unavailable individual, the reality is that they can train their empathy towards others.
Alexithymia can make emotional expression and connection challenging, but with self-awareness, therapy, and practice, individuals can learn to navigate emotions more effectively. While it may take time and effort, improving emotional literacy can lead to better relationships, mental well-being, and overall life satisfaction.
FAQs About Alexithymia
What is alexithymia?
Alexithymia is a condition characterized by difficulty identifying, understanding, and expressing emotions. It is not a disorder but a trait that can appear in various mental health conditions.
What causes alexithymia?
It can be caused by neurological differences, psychological trauma, cultural influences, or coexisting mental health conditions such as depression or autism.
How do I know if I have alexithymia?
If you struggle to identify your emotions, express feelings, or connect emotionally with others, you may have alexithymia. A mental health professional can provide a proper assessment.
Can alexithymia be treated?
While there is no specific cure, therapy, emotional training, and mindfulness techniques can help improve emotional awareness and communication.
Is alexithymia linked to autism?
Yes, alexithymia is commonly associated with autism spectrum disorder (ASD), but not all people with autism have alexithymia, and vice versa.
Can alexithymia affect relationships?
Yes, people with alexithymia may struggle to form emotional connections, leading to misunderstandings and difficulties in personal relationships.
How can I help someone with alexithymia?
Be patient and avoid pressuring them to express emotions.
Encourage non-verbal communication (e.g., writing, art, or gestures).
Provide emotional guidance by naming emotions in daily conversations.
I’m Emily Williams Jones, a psychologist specializing in mental health with a focus on cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) and mindfulness. With a Ph.D. in psychology, my career has spanned research, clinical practice and private counseling. I’m dedicated to helping individuals overcome anxiety, depression and trauma by offering a personalized, evidence-based approach that combines the latest research with compassionate care.
