Asexuality: Do You Feel Little Sexual Attraction Towards Others?

Don’t you feel sexual attraction towards others? Do you think you are not too sexual? Discover what asexuality is and the characteristics of this sexual orientation.

The world we live in is totally “sexualized”. Series, movies, books and conversations increasingly have more sexual overtones. The tables have even been turned in terms of the way to establish a relationship. In this culture where sex is practically everywhere, it is difficult to imagine someone with a lack of sexual attraction. According to statistics, there is a small part of the population (around 4%) who are called asexual due to his lack of sexual interest.

What is it to be asexual?

Asexuality is a sexual orientation in which a person experiences little or no interest in sex. So much so that they do not experience sexual attraction towards others, or if they do, it is to a lesser extent. Although the general rule is that asexuals feel little interest in sexuality, the reality is that each case is different from the others and has its particularities.

In many cases a asexual person experiences some romantic attraction but without a desire for sexual intimacy towards the other. Other people with asexuality may also want to have sex or masturbate but still not feel attracted to others. The cases of one of these sexual orientations are many and varied, therefore, we must keep in mind that the asexual label is precisely a range in which we can fit this type of attitudes towards sex.

In this way, someone is considered to be asexual when you do not feel the impulse or sexual desire for anyone (regardless of the sex). Furthermore, an asexual person can be asexual only in the sense of sexual relationships or also romantic relationships; There are people who not only have no sexual desire but also have no interest in having relationships.

The problem of this sexual spectrum is that they live this orientation with shame, so many of them may feel forced to stick to what society dictates and establish relationships that end up not working or lying to feel accepted. In fact, it was not until 2016 that the first association with a legal entity in Spain, ACE (Asexual Community Spain), was created, perhaps due to the silence and burden of being asexual in our society. ACE fights to achieve the integration of asexuality in society as another orientation with the aim of accepting and normalizing the absence of sexual desire and practice.

How do you know if you are asexual?

In the vast majority of cases the asexuality It doesn’t appear immediately. This is because when asexual people feel their lack of interest in sex, they tend to try to satisfy that desire in order to fit into society. In this way, an asexual person and their characteristics can help you identify if you are really in this situation.

1. You don’t feel sexual attraction

There are different types of asexuals But they all have one characteristic in common, the lack of sexual attraction. Although an asexual person may see that others are attractive, they do not feel a physical attraction towards them or rarely notice it.

2. Little desire for sex

The asexual people They tend not to show much interest in having sex with their partners or with other people. This can lead to certain problems in the relationship if the other person is not asexual.

3. Little desire to masturbate

He meaning of asexual It not only concerns other people but also the sex practiced by oneself. In cases where a person is asexual, they usually do not have much desire to masturbate or they masturbate very little.

4. You don’t initiate sex

Another way to know if you are asexual man or woman It is precisely observing how you behave around sex. On many occasions, an individual with asexuality never initiates sex with others or if he does it is almost out of obligation (to please the other in a relationship).

5. You rarely think about sex

The asexuality It also means leaving aside sex in other aspects of life. That is, these people do not talk about their sexual relationships nor do they show interest in this topic.

6. You don’t find thinking about sex exciting.

On many occasions, people can think about sex in their daily lives and find it exciting to think about it. In one of these sexual orientations sexual attraction is so minimal they have no fascination to think about sex.

7. They don’t watch porn

By having little interest in sex They are also not curious about observing sexual scenes. In this way, asexuals usually do not want to investigate in relation to sex and its meaning.

Every asexual person is different from another. In this way, it is more useful to think about the asexuality or in each of the types of sexuality as if it were a spectrum or a trait rather than an exact definition. If you feel that you may be part of the asexual people and you think you do not accept it, it is vital to go to a professional psychologist to work on it.

Types of asexuals

As we have already indicated, there are various types of asexuals In this way, there is an asexual spectrum in which people with asexuality can identify. Depending on sexual orientations, the sexual spectrum can be of two forms, sexual orientation or romantic orientation. Knowing this, asexual people can be of the following types.

• Romantics

In this type of sexual orientations of the asexuality, the person is attracted to others in a romantic way. That is, she wants to establish a bond with a person in a loving way and not in a sexual way.

• Demisexual

Demisexuals can be said to be asexual since they only experience sexual or romantic attraction when they have a very close emotional connection to a person.

• Graysexual

Graysexuals are asexuals who identify between a sexual and asexual person That is, they may experience sexual attraction at times or have a very low sexual desire in certain situations.

Problems of asexual people

The awakening of the sexuality It is recognized at the beginning of adolescence, so from the age of 11 or 12 these people have to carry the burden of feeling different from others. Homosexuality or bisexuality is increasingly accepted, but not being interested is considered strange. Many of these adolescents tend to end up closing themselves in their own world, socializing little and on many occasions they tend to focus on their studies to avoid the social area.

In fact, there are asexual who begin sexual practices and relationships to feel accepted, since the word “asexual” is used by many people as an insult or mockery. As you grow up, even your family can participate in that shame unconsciously, formulating phrases like: And when are you going to have a boyfriend/girlfriend? and when you turn 20 or older, not having had relationships or sexual contacts is considered in society as something strange and even ridiculous.

The asexual people They are bored or do not understand what others feel when they talk about romantic relationships, desire, physical attraction or sexual relations. Thus, they are aware that they are “spoils of society“because to be accepted you have to have sex. There are those who try to have romantic relationships because they feel romantic desire, but they tend to get frustrated by not feeling understood by their partners. It is difficult to find someone who is willing to sacrifice their sexual relationships to maintain the relationship. , and many times they fail.

Differences between asexuality and lack of sexual desire

Sometimes you can get confused asexuality with the lack of sexual desire in both men and women. Although they share certain traits, the key difference between the two is the duration of these feelings about sexuality. Asexual people tend to identify with these sexual orientations because it has been that way for a long period of time.

Sometimes people can see that their libido drops due to other conditions not related to their innate personality. In this way, in many cases it is more of a psychological problem that is visualized through sex. Among the most common may be stress, anxiety and depression. When a person feels this aversion towards sex, it is not about asexuality but there is an internal problem that we must deal with in order to enjoy this aspect of our lives. In these cases it will be essential to have a professional psychologist.

live being asexual It doesn’t mean not enjoying a full life. In many cases, asexual people will have in their hands the ability to decide whether to live based on others or following their own values. Happiness is always in doing what you really want.