Being Far From Home: The Psychological Keys For Spanish Migrants
Migrating is one of the most complex human experiences that we can live today. While it offers us opportunities, learning and great personal development, migrating involves a change of context so profound that it usually causes adaptation difficulties, insecurity, confusion, even a feeling of emptiness or not knowing what decision to make.
Human beings are social animals and we need a context to feel safe. When that context changes, no matter how much it offers us opportunities, it always makes us feel vulnerable in a psychological and emotional sense.
At the same time, migration is an increasingly common experience for people from Spain in other countries in Europe or in Latin America. In these experiences, problems flow that seemed to be overcome in all contexts: work, social life, even as a couple. These difficulties are not a result of migrating, but migrating is a difficult experience that makes it difficult for us to manage everything we feel.
In this article we are going to delve into what they are the most important psychological keys to understand what happens during the migration process and above all how you can resolve those difficulties with your own personal change (and in this way not have “going back” alone as the only option).
However, the greatest experience I can give you in this article is not from a series of academic knowledge (that anyone could assimilate) but from my own experience as a migrant. In these 11 years I have migrated and lived in 2 countries (Ecuador and Argentina) and traveled through many others. I have felt the difficulties and benefits of migration. For this reason I want to use this experience from psychology so that your experience is more positive and, above all, so that it represents for you a solution to what happens to you and a learning for your entire life.
The difficulties of adapting to another reality
Until not too long ago, migrating was an exceptional experience. Not only does it imply being in another context, culture, sometimes language, etc., but that change becomes permanent. It is an adaptive process that requires a psychological change, since first we adapt to that new reality, then the problems resulting from that adaptation flow, and finally we carry out an acculturation process (which does not mean that you lose your culture, but that you assimilate the new one). culture).
Today we migrate much more. We live in a globalized era where we often find the best job opportunities in other contexts, or perhaps it is personal or sentimental situations that lead you to make that change. The important thing is that in this process of such drastic change Unpleasant emotions arise as a result of uncertainty, such as insecurity, fear, doubt or confusion.
These difficulties can arise at any time in your life. However, we have the ability to change the context, taking refuge with deep emotional ties (especially friendly or family ones). Abroad we feel a kind of isolation that generates even more uncertainty and insecurity and conditions our decisions, as if we were getting smaller. Let’s look at these difficulties one by one to delve deeper into them.
1. Confusion (not knowing what to do or decide)
When we feel confusion and have difficulties when making decisions, it is a consequence of fear. Given the uncertainty we feel when we leave our context and face difficulties that can affect your future, fear appears trying to protect you. A practical tool of fear is to create doubts in ourselves. We see the cons of every possible decision and finally become paralyzed.
As the days go by, confusion generates a feeling of emptiness or loss of meaning that over time can worsen the migratory experience. However, The problem is not fear, but the way we understand and manage that fear.
In a situation of uncertainty, where you feel that you have fewer resources (emotional, social, cultural, etc.), it makes sense that your fears are more limiting. At the same time, it is an opportunity to learn to understand and manage what you feel.
2. Insecurity and blockage
insecurity is fear applied to your idea about your own capabilities. Insecurity leads you to think: what if I make this decision and it doesn’t turn out well? What if I communicate my boundaries but am rejected or disappointed? What if I don’t know how to face this challenge and my abilities are questioned?
Faced with insecurity, we become paralyzed. But insecurity is also a positive emotion, since it helps you be cautious and make more conscious and thoughtful decisions. However, in the migratory experience it can transform into a more intense and limiting insecurity.
3. Anxiety and anguish (when the problem continues)
As the problem continues, fear, insecurity and confusion can lead to anxiety and distress. Anxiety is a fear that has become generalized, and in turn, generates a shallow and rapid way of breathing that makes you feel that typical discomfort in the chest. The problem may be related to your partner, work or social relationship, but it always arises from your way of understanding and managing what you feel.
All these difficulties, which are aggravated in the migration process, can cause more and more discomfort, but we cannot change that reality or context (nor are they really the problem) but instead Adaptation is a very drastic process that we have to learn to manage.
The important and most valuable thing about this situation is that it is a learning that serves you throughout your life and in all contexts. On each occasion where I have accompanied a person who had difficulties in their migratory process or with other difficulties that they experienced as a migrant, the learning and its benefits have reaped over the years and in other contexts and experiences. Let’s see what the keys are to managing this experience and making it totally positive for you.
Keys to managing the immigration experience
When we feel anxiety in that migratory experience we tend to flee. We feel that if we change the context again, the problem will be solved. Doing this implies that you consider that the problem is in the context, and it is a dangerous idea, for the simple reason that it can cause future contexts to condition your well-being too much.
The key is not in escape but in learning to be well in a different context. Your capacity to adapt will grow and you will be able to feel more secure, make more conscious decisions and bond more deeply with people and the environment. To achieve this change we must solve at the root the internal difficulties that make the migratory experience more unpleasant.
First of all, it is essential learn to understand and manage what you feel. Human beings are emotional beings and they condition you for every action, decision, interpretation, relationship or way of communicating or working. Learning to understand what you feel leads you to recognize your emotions, to discover what you interpret to feel them, how you manage them (through your own behaviors), in such a way that they are more intense, lasting and frequent, and finally learn to manage them in a functional way. so that, instead of so much fear and insecurity, you generate more acceptance and confidence, which will lead you to live more decisively.
The second key is to work with your own self-concept. Abroad you are far from what you know and even your personal identity is at stake. This experience can help you get to know yourself, discover what you believe about yourself, how you see yourself and value yourself. Our identity and self-concept is actually a dynamic idea and changes throughout our lives. Being aware of what you believe about yourself and putting it into play will give you well-being and security.
It is also essential to have a concrete, measurable and observable action plan to make the change you need a reality. Having good intentions, desires, or simply reflecting on what happens to you can be positive, but if we do not take concrete action nothing will change. Taking action means that you have a series of different actions that help you manage your mood and manage what you feel in a more functional way. An action plan gives you commitment, focus, and leads you towards the change you need.
And finally: have expert company that does not guide or guide you, but rather accompanies you in a clean way, so that you can reflect, discover what you feel and interpret and thus apply the necessary changes in yourself.
A transformative experience
Although migrating is a difficult experience and over time the difficulties seem to grow, at the same time it is a unique opportunity to get to know you, discover how you understand and manage what you feel and how you interpret situations, and above all, to initiate changes in yourself that help you live with more well-being, acceptance, confidence and security with your decisions. It is about being well, wherever you are, in such a way that your well-being depends mainly on you and that this change is stable.
The migratory experience is a context that helps you live this process. The problem is not in being “away” (in reality, you are always with you) or far from the people you care about (human beings can build important emotional bonds throughout their lives) but rather the difficulty of this change of context exposes you to to difficult situations that were already in you.
It is then a magnificent opportunity to achieve the change you need and make it stable, that is, it not only helps you to be well within your immigration experience, but in the rest of your life and in the face of any difficulty you encounter (personal, work , sentimental, etc.).
The way to live a change process that has stable results is to do it with perseverance, also with flexibility, but above all work with all parts of your personality: your belief system, your self-esteem, your emotions, your communication, relationships, and your own confidence. By working with all the parties and in a deep and practical way (applying specific changes that make you improve your situation from the beginning) you will ensure that the change is lasting, since it will be part of you.
Living a process with only sessions can be inconsistent or can make you feel that the company is temporary. For this reason, and in my personal case, I do not accompany people only with sessions, but constantly: every day, for any need you have, without consultation limit, with weekly tools and sessions.
If you want to live this process and solve what is happening to you, feel free to schedule a first exploratory session with me via WhatsApp. In this session we get to know each other, we delve into the problem, we find a solution and we see how I can accompany you. You can schedule this session through this page.
I send you lots of encouragement, enthusiasm and commitment. Everything will change if the change occurs in you. Go for it.
