Zuri has had both happy and sad experiences since childhood; His family left him an indelible history of memories. Today he has gone to therapy for help.
He comments that years ago he had chosen the path of being “insensitive and invulnerable to feelings.” and that had allowed him to avoid suffering, but today it is no longer possible for him to bear what happens to him.
Right now is going through a separation process. He decided to break communication with her partner, who for years showed him a lack of interest. This became a cold experience, to the point of feeling frozen. She feels that she gave everything she could to make things work and she never got even a little of what she gave.
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Learning to manage discomfort
It is easy to understand and feel compassion for what Zuri is suffering; first that painful experience, a feeling of total apathy on the part of his partner. Now Zuri needs to express what is happening to her, and this gives her the opportunity to accept help. Although it is not easy, he needs to release his suffering, enter the opportunity to rethink your life and resume projects to which you dedicate your attention to find strength.
We agree that Zuri does not refuse to explore her emotional existence. He has shown sufficient capacity, energy and courage to express what is happening to him; he does not want to evade the experience anymore. What he is experiencing at this moment seems unacceptable to him.
Now that she comes to seek help, Zuri needs to feel confident about what she will choose. Although he knows that there are options; He wants to choose as his therapist a person who does not judge him, who is interested in what happens to him, but above all, who helps him reduce the emotional pain that invades him at times.
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The ability to adapt is key
Millions of people around the world accumulate difficult experiences; Some of these experiences cause bitter moments. In the best of cases, it is possible to cope thanks to an enormous capacity for adaptation..
As we can imagine, this involves a great effort. People express that this presents with pain and discomfort, to the point of feeling as if they are slowing down or moving forward at a forced pace.
It is important to consider that, by not developing a process, and in the face of difficult accumulated experiences, the character becomes something similar to a vault that holds deep feelings that sometimes we don’t realize are still there and that at some point they will come to light. Sometimes these bitter moments cause discomfort in our relationship with others, in our own identity and even in our health.
It is important to consider that In adult life, some of the situations that caused emotional discomfort and that have not been worked on can be somatized..
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In the first contact, Zuri hears from her therapist that they will work in a space free of judgment, that she is the one who will choose both the topics she wants to address and the depth in exploring them. She can feel confident that this will be a positive experience, a therapeutic process that heals emotions.
Already in therapy, since Zuri has been able to express herself more easily and assertively, she even seems to be enjoying enriching learning. Although he knows that it will be a process that will not be resolved overnight, he feels calm. He has the possibility that week after week he has full listening from his professional, who also knows how to guide his process, which comforts him, giving him hope of being able to overcome suffering and stay well.
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Why does therapy work?
The therapy processes, although they do not work like magic, are a valuable tool to transcend and overcome discomfort. They help you understand more clearly and even open up the best opportunity to explore parts of your personal history that caused pain. Therefore, recognizing, dimensioning and healing (since we need to find strength for what is happening in our present) can be a path that gives us security.
It is true that as human beings we have an enormous capacity to cope with our emotional, social, affective and psychological balance.
It is true that there may be people who go days, months or even years without going to therapy. This means that, even with emotional pain and suffering, someone can resist, or develop an armor so thick that there comes a time when the pain is almost imperceptible. However, at various times the person can feel that experience of relief that releases suffering and allows him to recognize that he does not need to suffer again.
Change processes are easier with professional support
Unlike what happens in other living beings, human beings We know that our processes are not simple. Our emotional memory is vast, rich in resources, options and alternatives that sometimes, being a little accumulated and tangled between good emotions and others that we do not understand as the best, make it difficult to unravel these experiences unless we have professional support.
We cannot deny that people who decide not to ask for help, over time, come to modify aspects of their character that make them distant and reserved, perhaps even alienated from human interaction and the pleasure of sharing feelings with others.
Victor Fernando Perez Lopez
Victor Fernando Perez Lopez
There will always be an opportunity to heal those bitter moments; The sooner we do it, the sooner we will feel better and we will find ourselves facing a life that offers us many more things to enjoy and that are waiting for us.