Codependency is defined as a typically dysfunctional behavioral pattern developed in response to a relationship with a person who suffers from an addictive problem, such as alcoholism. This term emerged in the 1970s, initially in the context of alcoholism treatment, to describe the dynamics that are established between the alcoholic person and their family and closest environment.
In essence, codependency implies excessive worry and developing an emotional dependence on the addicted person, seeking to ensure their well-being and care all the time, to the point of neglecting one’s own needs. The codependent person usually assumes the role of “caregiver” or “savior,” focusing their life on controlling and seeking a solution for the alcoholic person’s problems.
This pattern of behavior develops gradually as an adaptation mechanism in an environment, usually a dysfunctional family. Over time, the codependent may lose his or her individual identity, defining his or her self-esteem and sense of purpose solely in relation to the alcoholic person and his or her needs.
In this article we are going to focus on understanding codependency linked to alcoholism understanding the insidious impact it can have on an individual but also global level, affecting the entire social and family structure of both the codependent person and the alcoholic.
The relationship between codependency and alcoholism
Codependency and alcoholism are closely linked, as we have already defined, often described as “two sides of the same coin.” In families affected by alcoholism, codependency manifests itself as a set of behaviors and attitudes that, paradoxically, can perpetuate the cycle of addiction in itself.
The codependent, usually the partner or a close relative of the alcoholic, assumes, consciously or unconsciously, the responsibility of “managing” the consequences of alcoholism. This may include covering up problems caused by drinking, making excuses for the alcoholic’s behavior, or even facilitating drinking to avoid conflict. These actions, although well-intentioned, often protect the alcoholic from the natural consequences of their addiction, thus delaying their search for help.
Furthermore, codependency can provide a “function” for alcoholism within the family dynamic itself. The alcoholic person may be emotionally dependent on the codependent person, who in turn finds purpose in the care and control of the addicted person. This symbiotic relationship, although dysfunctional, can be very difficult to break.
It is important to understand that there is no cause and effect relationship between codependency and alcoholism. However, both processes reinforce each other, generating a cycle that can persist for years if not addressed properly. Recognizing and treating codependency is, therefore, a crucial component in the process of recovery from alcoholism and family restructuring.
Family effects of codependency
Codependency in the context of alcoholism can have a very profound and far-reaching impact throughout the entire family structure. Its effects extend beyond the relationship between the codependent person and the alcoholic, affecting each family member in a unique and significant way.
1. Effects on the couple
For the codependent partner, the consequences can be devastating. They often experience high levels of stress and anxiety, which can lead to the development of depressive symptoms and behaviors. Their self-esteem can be greatly affected, as they tend to blame themselves for the alcoholic’s problems and their inability to “cure” them. Additionally, they may neglect their own physical and emotional health, as well as their personal interests and social relationships.
The children in these families also suffer considerably. They grow up in an environment full of emotional instability and can develop trust and attachment problems. It is common for them to take on roles that are inappropriate for their age, such as taking care of their parents or younger siblings. This can lead to developing emotional and social problems, thus increasing the risk of mental health problems and addictions in the future.
3. Intergenerational trauma
Other family members are also affected. Grandparents, for example, may feel helpless or guilty, while the alcoholic’s siblings may experience resentment and withdraw from the situation. Codependency creates a dysfunction that can be perpetuated across generations if not addressed. Breaking this cycle requires recognition, therapy, and a conscious effort to establish healthy boundaries and effective communication.
Treatment and recovery
Recovery from codependency processes, like alcoholism, is a process that requires time, effort and professional support. The first and crucial step is to recognize the existence of the problem and the need for help.
1. Individual therapy
Individual therapy plays a fundamental role in treatment and recovery. A specialized therapist can help the codependent person identify dysfunctional behavior patterns, work on self-esteem, and develop healthy boundaries. Cognitive behavioral and trauma-focused therapies have been shown to be particularly effective.
2. Support groups
Participating in support groups focused on addiction treatment and prevention can offer safe spaces to share experience and learn from others facing similar challenges. These groups promote autonomy and self-care, elements that are essential in recovery.
Family therapy that includes more family members can also be beneficial, helping to restructure family dynamics and improve communication between family members. In some cases, it may be necessary to take a comprehensive approach that includes treatment for associated mental health problems, such as depression or anxiety.
