Conscious Listening: Why Listening From Love Matters

Conscious listening

Try to imagine a situation in which you were trying to tell something to a friend and they have not stopped interrupting you with phrases like: “that same thing happened to me when…” and they start telling you their personal anecdote without allowing you to finish yours. . Or when you try to tell him about an argument you’ve had with a friend and he tries to ask you questions that divert the thread of the conversation: “By the way, how is his father?”

Although we often do it unconsciously, this type of interruption is a clear sign of lack of attention, active listening, empathy, and also love. It is not conscious or deep listening. And this has consequences on our social relationships.

What is conscious listening?

Deep or conscious listening is the type of listening in which they reside attention, empathy and love towards others. It is an act of generosity, because through listening we give our interlocutor time and space in our mind and heart, as if we welcomed a guest by making room for them in our interior home.

Human beings have the need to be heard, so the lack of this element can make the interaction of the social relationship difficult and cause conflicts. In this way, it is difficult for the relationship to prosper and be fruitful, since there is no true communicative exchange between both that originates from love. It works as if we were saying to the other: “There is no room for you in me.”

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The truth is that most people don’t know how to listen. Often, we do not pay enough attention to the person next to us. Not only because of the amount of stimuli we receive from around us (for example, the mobile phone).

This also happens because we are immersed in our own mental noise; our attention is taken by our thoughts. We are more aware of what is happening in our mind, of our concerns, of what we want to say next or of giving an immediate response to our interlocutor than of practicing true conscious listening with the other, leaving them space and time to express themselves, to practice silence and then participate when it comes.

How can we change this habit? The fundamental thing is to change habits.

To do?

When you listen to a person, don’t just do it with your mind; listen to it with your whole body. As you listen to what he says, pay attention to the sensations in your body. In this way, you will take your attention away from your thoughts and redirect it towards your body, creating a quiet space that will allow you to listen without mental interference, leaving a space for it to enter you and relating to it from love, with love.

If at first it is difficult for you to practice it with another person, You can start by listening to your body through meditation, or through external stimuli such as paying attention to the sound of rain.

When we practice conscious listening with others (should always be) we will pay attention not only to spoken communication and also to non-verbal language; We will observe details such as tone of voice, volume, speed of speech, facial and body expressions… In this way, we will have a broader vision of the message they want to convey to us. The idea is to try to go beyond the superficial message they transmit to us.

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The practice of deep listening has great therapeutic power for both interlocutors. This is so since it allows the listener to go through a path free of judgment and full of acceptance and the listener silences mental interference and generates a state of calm.

If we modify our listening habits to practice conscious listening, we will transform our way of relating to others; leaving aside the superficial mind-mind interaction to turn it into a true and deep interaction of human beings who communicate from their essence.

Cultivate the conscious listener within you and learn to listen from love.