
Depression is a mental disorder that affects many people worldwide; In fact, it is one of the most prevalent disorders in practically all countries. Its causes can be very diverse.
In this article we will focus on depression for love which is one that arises as a consequence of experiencing a process of breaking up in love and, as a consequence, of facing the process of grieving for the loved one.
What are the defining characteristics of love depression? And its symptoms, causes and treatments? How is a breakup process experienced and what relationship does this have with depression? Let’s find out through this article.
Love depression: what is it?
Depression due to love is one that has a love breakup as its direct cause. So, When we talk about depression due to love, we are rather referring to depression due to lack of love
Since, when we are in love, we are not exactly depressed, and it is love breakups or disappointments that can cause us to become depressed, and not love itself. In this way, what causes suffering in people is lack of love, not love.
How do we feel when we experience a love breakup?
The first days after a breakup, all kinds of symptoms usually appear. Anxiety, fear, insomnia, loss of appetite, feeling of emptiness… I’m sure many of you have experienced them.
Besides, A compulsive need to contact the other person also usually appears We must be attentive to these first symptoms because, although they are totally normal (and even adaptive), if they last for a long time or if their intensity is excessive, we may be at risk of suffering from depression. What we call here “love depression”.
On the other hand, the so-called “withdrawal syndrome” appears, which is a very normal and frequent state, on a mental and physical level, when we have just lost a source of security and pleasure. We must take into account what has already been mentioned and that is that Love, by itself, does not generate this withdrawal syndrome but it is the loss of the loved one that causes it.
Behavior patterns in breakup and depression
As a consequence of a loss or a breakup, we can act in very different ways from one another, but it is true that there tend to be some common patterns that are those mentioned here, added to some of the following, which appear frequently. certain frequency.
Resorting to unbridled sex with strangers to “escape” the pain (or to stop thinking), the consumption of toxic substances (such as tobacco, alcohol or hard drugs) to “escape”, distract ourselves or also to not think, thoughts ruminative or obsessive, the unanswered questions, the downturns, the blank nights, the stagnation… Do they sound familiar to you?
When all this stretches out over time, or when the intensity of these symptoms or behaviors is so high that it seriously interferes with our daily lives (that is, in our functioning), then what we call here love depression may appear. What are their characteristics? How to treat it? Let’s see it in the following sections.
Symptoms of depression due to love
In reality, we cannot say that love depression is a “subtype of depression” (at least, this term does not exist in any reference diagnostic manual); When we talk about depression due to love, we are rather referring to a type of depression popularly called that, because it occurs as a consequence of love (or rather, lack of love).
For all this, the symptoms of depression due to love They are the same as those that appear in any type of depression, although “bathed” by this feeling of having lost the loved one In this way, the following may appear.
1. Mood symptoms
The quintessential symptom of depression has to do with low mood. In the case of depression due to love, These symptoms can be accentuated when remembering moments with the person who was lost It is common to enter states of nostalgia and especially melancholy.
2. Motivational and behavioral symptoms
Apathy, inhibition, anhedonia, lack of motivation, psychomotor retardation (or on the contrary, agitation), etc. appear.
As in the previous case, All of these symptoms can intensify when you enter a thought loop (which are usually negative) towards the other person, or in compulsive behaviors of searching for the other person on social networks, checking what they are doing, etc.
3. Cognitive symptoms
The performance of different cognitive processes and skills is also altered in depression, which harms: memory, attention, mental speed…
Regarding the content of cognition, it may appear Aaron Beck’s so-called “negative triad”, characterized by a negative (and pessimistic) view of oneself, the world and the future
In love depression, this could translate or become negative ideas about the other person, about the relationship itself, about the breakup, etc.
4. Physical symptoms
On a physical level, sleep problems appear (the so-called “blank nights” characteristic of this depression, as well as insomnia or other disorders), fatigue, alterations in appetite, decreased sexual desire.
5. Interpersonal symptoms
Finally, in the field of interpersonal relationships, there is a deterioration in them, decreased interest in interacting with others and even a rejection of people
In this sense and, especially in the early stages of a breakup, people tend to isolate themselves at home without wanting to go out with anyone, or on the contrary, go out partying every weekend and get out of phase, etc.
In relation to the latter, the aforementioned behaviors of having unrestrained sex with strangers may appear in some people.
Causes
Although each situation is different, the causes of depression due to love are usually of two types: either a breakup or being rejected by the person we love (in more colloquial words, “fuck us”).
These types of situations are part of life, and all of us will go through them (and surely, on more than one occasion). That is to say, these are situations that do not have to cause depression, even if they involve feelings of sadness and emptiness, since at the end of the day we are talking about grieving processes and it is normal to feel that way.
However, there are people who, due to their personal characteristics (vulnerability, for example, or insecurities) or Due to the circumstances that have accompanied the breakup or disappointment in love, they do develop depression
Treatment
In relation to psychological therapy, the treatment of depression for love will actually be the treatment used to treat depression in general (adapting, of course, to each person).
In the specific case of depression due to love, A lot of work must be done with the patient on dysfunctional thoughts associated with the breakup and the grieving process that is, to all those that make it difficult to accept the current situation (that is, the acceptance of reality).
It will also be important to work on the patient’s self-esteem, since this is often affected in this type of situation or process. Thus, we will seek to enhance it through different techniques and exercises (without forgetting self-concept either, closely related to self-esteem).
There are different psychological treatments that have been shown to be effective for depression Some of them are:
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PsychologyFor. (2024). Depression Due to Love: What it Is, Causes, and with What Symptoms it is Expressed. https://psychologyfor.com/depression-due-to-love-what-it-is-causes-and-with-what-symptoms-it-is-expressed/