Differences Between Love, Sadism, Masochism And Sadomasochism
Masochism is defined as sexual perversion of someone who enjoys seeing themselves humiliated or mistreated by another person (From L. von Sacher-Masoch, 1836-1895, Austrian novelist). Sadism is defined as sexual perversion of someone who provokes his own excitement by committing acts of cruelty on another person (From DA François, Marquis de Sade, 1740-1814, French writer).
Differentiating between Sadism, Masochism and Sadomasochism
These behaviors that we have always related to something unhealthy and related to sexual perversion, turn out to have a psychological basis, which is not very different from the basis that unites relationships, which are supposed to be based on emotional factors.
Psychological profile
Eric Fromm (1900), German psychoanalyst, considered that people in couples, emotionally dependent on others, They tend to have masochistic and sadistic impulses towards their partner as a result of the fear of being alone, explains it as follows:
The goal of the masochist is to abandon his own individual identity, which is free, since he considers that the condition of freedom of the individual means loneliness, something that terrifies him, which is why he looks for something or someone to chain his self. Sadism shares with masochism that fear of finding itself only when it loses its object of submission. Therefore, the masochist and the sadist create the union of an individual self with another, capable of making each one lose the integrity of their personality, making them reciprocally dependent, with a common objective, not to find themselves alone.
It is therefore necessary to differentiate between sadomasochism, sadism and masochism. For Fromm, in his book The fear to the freedom ( 1), masochistic and sadistic character traits tend to help the individual escape from his or her unbearable feeling of loneliness and helplessness. And they manifest that fear in the following three possible ways.
The person tries to dominate and have power over another but not to destroy it but to keep it by his side.
In people, both masochistic and sadistic behaviors oscillate over time. These masochistic behaviors are present in relationships and are considered expressions of love. Sadistic behaviors are considered expressions of jealousy and obsession with the partner.
So now, we can reflect on ourselves and question whether we prefer individual freedom and facing loneliness or whether we prefer to submit to someone or manipulate a third party so as not to find ourselves alone.
If you think you are in an abusive situation, we recommend you read this post: “The 30 signs of psychological abuse in a relationship”
