Digital Infidelity: A New Focus Of Couple Conflicts
Beyond the typical alarmism that appears every time a new technological advance becomes popular, it is reasonable to think that, just as the use of smartphones and tablets increasingly influences our communication habits, it also exposes us to new risks. and problems.
The so-called FOMO syndrome, for example, is an example of this: we are afraid of being “disconnected” from the network for a few hours, so we could be missing out.
Something similar happens with the impact that the Internet has had on love and relationships.
On the one hand, it makes us fantasize about the idea that at any time, from the comfort of home or work, we could be entering into emotional or sexual relationships, even with relative anonymity. On the other hand, it makes us begin to fear the possibility of wasting time by not meeting people online… and one of the results of this is digital infidelity It is not for nothing that social networks like Facebook are increasingly generating more and more divorces and breakups.
Traditionally, one of the great pillars of monogamous relationships was to limit the access of each member of the couple to encounters with people of the opposite sex. It was common to go to social events as a couple, and a good excuse was needed to talk alone with people who could be seen as “competition.”
Today this rigidity no longer exists in most Western countries, but several studies show that it has not been this that has increased the frequency with which infidelities occur, but rather constant access to the Internet
Most people who have ended up having an affair outside of their relationship by meeting people online did not start chatting with other people with the intention of being unfaithful. What usually happens is that these types of messages and chat sessions are seen as something safe, an environment in which everything is under control and which can be “cut off” at any time.
A feeling of unreality
Many people do not believe that starting a conversation to flirt with others is an act of infidelity, but rather a game or simulation. However, the events that often occur afterwards refute this perspective of things. The ability to connect at any time with work colleagues, friends or even strangers and the perception of the lack of risk of these practices are ingredients why many people fall into temptation.
This type of accessibility is a trap that acts through a false sense of security: believing that what happens on the Internet is not real just because it is seen on a screen. That is to say, talking to someone in a way that would break the rules of the marriage or courtship you are having is a kind of fiction because It is just writing words on a monitor Something that is difficult to imagine having a negative impact on the relationship and that, at the same time, is fun or stimulating.
On the other hand, it is such an insignificant action (or that’s what it seems, at least) that it is easy to find a justification for it. For example, monotony and boredom, especially in the case of long-distance relationships in which there is infrequent contact with the person in love, or sexual dissatisfaction with them. These elements can be seen as a grievance to be compensated with something as simple as talking to other people on the Internet
In this type of reasoning, then, digital infidelity can even be seen as something that saves the marriage, or that makes the relationship more stable and healthy. It is not even a lesser evil, but rather a piece totally integrated into that courtship.
What to do to avoid it?
When it comes to digital infidelity, the best thing to do is avoid risks and start by assuming that certain types of contacts over the Internet also violate the agreed rules of a relationship based on monogamy. It is not for nothing that it is a practice that is actively and passively hidden from the other person.
Thus, it is important to start by avoiding ambiguous situations that at the same time expose us to other risks that have nothing to do with romance, such as the practice of accept friend requests from all types of strangers
On the other hand, it is important to have certain rules of behavior in mind in situations that can lead to digital infidelity, such as detecting certain behavioral patterns in the responses of the person you are talking to, and nipping that type of conversation in the bud. .
